DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently returned from a vacation where we had a disagreement regarding hotel service and towels.

Regarding the towels, my wife thinks we should hang them to dry daily for reuse later. I say the cost of washing the towels is included in the price of the room, and I want a fresh towel daily.

The other issue is my wife feels obligated to tip the housekeeping staff. I have never felt that obligation. Not a single housekeeper has been exceptional, regardless of the hotel we stayed in.

We're hoping you could shed some light on hotel etiquette. -- WEST VIRGINIA TRAVELER

DEAR TRAVELER: Your wife appears to be a conservationist. Although you prefer fresh towels daily, many travelers voluntarily forgo this service to help hotels conserve water and save energy. If you prefer to do otherwise, that's your privilege -- and it's not worth arguing over.

As to tipping the housekeeping staff, has it occurred to you that you have never received exceptional service because you never offered a tip? Some hotel guests talk to the housekeeper at the time they arrive to request extra hangers, soap, washcloths, etc. -- and offer a gratuity at that time. And when they do, the staff usually goes out of their way to be accommodating. Try it -- they need the extra money, and they'll spoil you if you let them.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Parker," and I have a 4-year-old son, "Ethan." Recently, my mother-in-law suggested we have a will drawn up, stating who will take care of Ethan if something happens to us. She's an attorney and has offered to do it for us.

Parker and I agree that it is a good idea and appreciate her offer to do the paperwork. The problem? We don't want her raising our son. We have another relative in mind.

My mother-in-law is a nice enough person and would not be cruel or abusive to Ethan, but she was not a good mother to Parker and his siblings. She's extremely selfish and self-absorbed. We know she'll be extremely offended if we don't name her as our child's guardian.

I would like to hire another attorney, but she will take offense to that as well. She hasn't stopped hounding us about this issue. Please tell us how to handle this. -- TRAPPED IN THE GOLDEN STATE

DEAR TRAPPED: Hire an attorney and have the document drawn up. And when your mother-in-law raises the subject again, you and Parker should thank her and tell her it has already been done, so she doesn't have to worry about it anymore. The woman may be selfish and self-absorbed, but she is absolutely right that you should have your wishes put in writing.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were taught differently regarding how to serve ourselves a meal. Typically, we each "plate up" a desired amount of food in the kitchen, where it is prepared, rather than bring serving dishes to the table. Then we carry our plates to the table to eat.

Should my husband serve himself first (as I was taught the cook/hostess is served last), or should I go first (as he was taught women precede men)? -- DINERS' DILEMMA

DEAR D.D.: You're not "the hostess"; you are the wife. If your husband wishes to defer to you, let him spoil you. You'll both be happier that way.

P.S. I'm sure you can find a way to spoil him back.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: Could you please reprint a letter you ran a few years ago about the dangers of purchasing a pet rabbit for children at Easter? As a rabbit owner for eight years, I'm all too familiar with the misconceptions and ridiculous theories associated with these delightful creatures. Every point in that letter rang true to me, and I beg anyone considering giving a child a rabbit to reconsider.

When I bought my bunny, it was near Easter time. Most pet stores didn't offer them, and I was told it was because of the large number of rabbits found dead or abandoned on the streets because the selfish, inhumane people who bought them for the holiday disposed of them the next day. These dear little animals deserve owners who will love and respect them. Please don't waste their lives. -- CAITLIN IN L.A.

DEAR CAITLIN: I'm happy to oblige. The letter you requested carries an important message that can't be repeated often enough:

DEAR ABBY: Easter is coming. Many families still purchase live rabbits as pets for their children. Parents often think rabbits are good "starter" pets and don't understand what they are getting into. As a result, many of these poor creatures end up in animal shelters, and children learn that pets are disposable.

Before getting rabbits, people should consider:

1. Are they willing to make a seven-to-10-year commitment? That is the average lifespan of a rabbit.

2. What will happen if their child gets bored with the bunny after six months?

3. Is there a place in their house for a rabbit cage?

4. Are they willing to pay to get it spayed/neutered and provide vet care?

5. Do they know that most rabbits hate to be held? Will their child accept that?

6. Are they willing to ensure that children under 7 won't pick up the rabbit without supervision? Rabbits are fragile; their legs or spine will break if accidentally dropped.

7. Can they provide three hours of exercise every day in an escape-proof area outside its cage?

8. Do the adults want the rabbit, too? A rabbit should be a family pet.

If people have questions about rabbits and their care, please ask them to contact my organization. We are happy to answer questions. Our website is www.rabbitnetwork.org, and our phone number is (781) 431-1211.

Finally, if a rabbit is right for you and your family, please adopt one from a shelter or rescue group. You'll enrich your family with a new member and also teach your kids the value of saving a life. Thank you. -- SUZANNE TRAYHAN, PRESIDENT, HOUSE RABBIT NETWORK

DEAR SUZANNE: The topic of bunnies, baby chicks and ducklings as Easter gifts is one that recurs every year. I hear from people who work in animal shelters deploring the fact that these helpless little creatures are later dumped when they cease to be novelties. I hope readers will take to heart what you have written, particularly the suggestion that if a rabbit is going to be adopted, a shelter or rescue group can be an excellent resource.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: We have been friends with "The Bickersons" for quite some time. They never have a kind word to say to each other. Mr. B. now has a terminal illness, and you would think they'd be kinder to each other at a time like this. On the contrary, their fights are more groundless and vicious than ever. It is becoming increasingly difficult to be around them. This is when they need friends more than ever, but they're driving everyone away! What can we do? -- LOVE IS ALL WE NEED

DEAR LOVE: While you might imagine that when a spouse has a terminal illness it would bring the couple closer together, that is not always the case. Mr. B. may be frightened, angry, in pain and taking it out on his wife. Mrs. B. may be furious at her husband for being sick and dependent, and requiring her to have gone from being a wife to a caregiver. Also, they both may be settling old scores.

Because it's painful to watch what's going on but you want to be supportive, consider socializing with them separately. They may appreciate the time they get to spend away from each other.

DEAR ABBY: When does dieting become rude? I have always enjoyed inviting friends and family over for dinner. But lately it seems everyone is on some kind of diet and "can't eat that."

I fix healthy meals -- free of fats, sugars and salt. If someone has a dietary restriction or wants to pass on dessert, I am fine with that, of course. I don't like it, though, when my carefully prepared meals turn into leftovers or get thrown away off someone's plate.

Why would anyone accept a dinner invitation and then turn into a picky guest? Would eating an average serving of a good meal once a week blow someone's diet? -- LOST THE JOY OF COOKING

DEAR LOST THE JOY: I'll answer your questions in reverse order. Eating an "average serving of a good meal" once a week could blow someone's diet, depending on the kind of diet the person is on. And the reason someone who is on a severely restricted diet would accept a dinner invitation on a weekly basis might be because he or she wants to see you, wants to see some of the other guests or doesn't want to be left out. But for a conclusive answer, you need to query the dieter.

DEAR ABBY: My mother and I are very close, and I love her very much, but I have a problem. Mom goes on every single field trip with my class. There have even been times when she was the only parent in attendance. The teachers are grateful for her, but it's becoming embarrassing. I'm a freshman in a private high school, and I want to start doing things more independently. What's the best way to tell Mom before my next trip that I prefer she not go without hurting her feelings? -- I'M A BIG GIRL NOW

DEAR BIG GIRL: Talk to your mother at a time when you are both calm. She needs to understand that her hovering is making you self-conscious when you need some independence. However, keep in mind that she may be the only parent who is volunteering and has the time to assist in the field trips -- which is why the teachers are grateful. What I'm trying to convey is how important it is for you and your mother to communicate honestly with each other.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)