DEAR ABBY: I have read with interest your columns with tales of discontent involving overbearing in-laws. Some of them have been downright frightening, although, of course, not all in-law relationships are fraught with conflict.

I bring this up because I'm about to become a mother-in-law for the first time. My oldest son will marry his longtime girlfriend early this summer. She's a lovely girl, and we already consider her to be a cherished member of our family.

I remember a "Mother-in-Law's Prayer" that ran in your column years ago. It was a kind of "pep talk" from a woman to herself as she approaches mother-in-law status. I found it quite humorous. Would you please reprint it for me and for other mothers-in-law as the spring wedding season beckons? Hopefully, I won't need to refer to it often. Also, how can I get the booklet that contains it? -- KATHERINE M., FORT WAYNE, IND.

DEAR KATHERINE: Congratulations on your son's forthcoming wedding. The item you referenced has been asked for many times.

Over the years, readers have requested that I reprint articles that have special meaning to them on subjects such as parenting, children, animals, aging, death, forgiveness, etc. My booklet ("Keepers") contains 72 column pieces that people have told me they kept to re-read until the pieces were yellow with age and falling apart. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. You'll find stories, poems and prayers like the one below to inspire you, make you think or simply brighten your day.

If all mother-in-law relationships were judged solely by the letters in my column, many people would conclude that it's an emotional minefield. I discussed this subject with a psychiatrist who shared that a mother-in-law who is perceived as overbearing may be one who was a conscientious mother. But now that her child is grown, she finds it difficult to relinquish her role as teacher and protector and quit "hovering" -- an interesting observation.

A MOTHER-IN-LAW'S PRAYER

"O, Lord, help me to be glad when my son (or daughter) picks a mate. If he brings home a girl with two heads, let me love both of them equally. And when my son says, 'Mom, I want to get married,' forbid that I should blurt out, 'How far along is she?'

"And please, Lord, help me to get through the wedding preparations without a squabble with the 'other side.' And drive from my mind the belief that had my child waited a while, he or she could have done better.

"Dear Lord, remind me daily that when I become a grandmother, my children don't want advice on how to raise their children any more than I did when I was raising mine.

"If you will help me to do these things, perhaps my children will find me a joy to be around, and maybe I won't have to write a 'Dear Abby' letter complaining about my children neglecting me. Amen."

DEAR ABBY: My job requires me to travel out of town several nights a week, leaving my wife home alone. She recently invited a mutual (male) friend out for dinner during my absence. He's the other half of a couple we socialize with frequently. (His wife was also out of town.)

I told her I was uncomfortable with it. I don't think married men and women should go out alone with members of the opposite sex. She maintains that it wasn't a "date," that she was just having a meal with a friend.

I value your opinion and would like to know how you feel about this. Did I overreact? Is it appropriate for a married woman to go out for a meal alone with a man other than her husband? -- FEELING CHEATED ON IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FEELING CHEATED ON: With some couples this wouldn't be an issue. However, how I feel about it is not as important as how you feel about it. If you have explained your feelings to your wife and she knows it made you uncomfortable -- innocent as it was -- then it shouldn't be repeated. I can't help but wonder how she would react if you told her you had run into the man's wife on one of your business trips and the two of you had had dinner together -- and plan to do so again in the future.

DEAR ABBY: Whenever my father comes into my room to wake me up, he opens the shutters on my windows. After spending hours in a dark room, the bright light hurts my eyes.

I have talked to him about it several times, but usually find myself apologizing for being overly sensitive about the matter.

Abby, even when he has promised not to, he still does it. Is there anything I can do to make him stop? -- SENSITIVE EYES IN RICHMOND, VA.

DEAR SENSITIVE EYES: Yes, there is. Take responsibility for waking yourself up by getting an alarm clock so you no longer need your father's "help."

DEAR ABBY: My husband's sister is being married in a few months. The wedding is in her hometown, which is more than 1,400 miles from where we live. My husband and I have three small children.

Taking our entire family and staying for three or four days will cost almost $3,000. Two of the children would not be able to attend the ceremony without causing a disruption, due to naps, feeding, etc. In spite of the financial burden and the fact that it will be a difficult trip for the children, the bride-to-be is demanding that all of us be there.

Abby, are we obligated to make this trip, or would it be acceptable for only my husband to attend? If he goes alone, he will have time with his sister and the rest of the family, whom he does not get to see very often. We want to do the right thing, but the reality is that taking our family of five would be difficult and stressful for everyone. -- ANXIOUS IN OHIO

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your husband needs to assert himself and talk some sense into his sister. While it is wonderful that she would like to have all of you at her wedding, an invitation is a request -- not a summons. If being there with the children would be stressful financially, logistically and emotionally, you are right to stay home.

DEAR ABBY: I recently began dating a dear friend of two years I'll call "Harry." We have discussed marriage, and he is keenly interested in having children. He was married to his ex-wife for 18 years and they had no children.

Abby, Harry's close relationship with his ex is making me uncomfortable. She lives five minutes away and they socialize at least twice a week. He had fought the divorce, but says he's relieved the two of them remain friendly.

I love Harry dearly, but I have told him I think that I -- not his ex -- should be his best friend. He gently told me that is out of the question, and I can expect her to attend all family holiday celebrations and other functions.

We ended our relationship as amicably as possible after he said his ex-wife laughed at my not wanting to be part of his "harem." I am devastated. Was I unreasonable? -- WOUNDED IN HOUSTON

DEAR WOUNDED: Not at all. You have my sympathy, and you were right to end the romance. Harry is still too emotionally tied to his ex-wife to be married to anyone else. And she knows that, which is why she laughed.

DEAR ABBY: I am beginning the process of planning my 20th high school reunion. Last spring, one of my classmates died after a heroic battle with cancer. He was well-loved by his friends and family, and I am wondering if we should invite his widow to the reunion. She did not go to our high school, but many of my classmates know her through her husband and I think they would appreciate her being there.

I am hesitating because I'm unsure whether it would be appropriate to invite her, and also how I can ensure that the experience won't be awkward. Do you think it's a good idea to invite her? -- WONDERING IN SEATTLE

DEAR WONDERING: To invite your late classmate's wife would be a caring gesture. She might be touched that you wanted to include her. Send the invitation with a personal note telling her you would welcome seeing her -- but do not be surprised if she chooses not to attend.

P.S. If she doesn't, send her a copy of the program for that evening with recent pictures of his former classmates, and if there's a tribute page, be sure her late husband's name is included on it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating the same wonderful man nearly a year now. Although we are not yet engaged, we are headed in that direction and are already discussing wedding plans.

His mother, whom I adore, has offered to make my wedding gown. I am ecstatic at the prospect, but I have a question: Should I offer to pay for the material or just accept this generous gift? -- PRE-ENGAGED IN GULFPORT, MISS.

DEAR PRE-ENGAGED: If your boyfriend's mother is not only embracing you but measuring you for a wedding dress, I'd say you're further along than "pre-"engaged. And what a marvelous gift she is offering. By all means offer to pay for the material -- but I have a strong suspicion that she'll refuse to accept any money. From your description, she is a sweetheart.