DEAR ABBY: My best friend "Diane" and I have known each other since we were children. She has always had difficulty in her relationships with men. In the last three years, she has begun dating married men. She was sure the latest one was the man of her dreams, but it was short-lived and destroyed his marriage. Diane rationalizes what she's doing by saying the men will cheat anyway, so why not with her?

Diane is now in love with someone new. If he leaves his wife and children for her, this will be another home Diane has helped break up. She wants my blessings and for me to get along with her boyfriend. Being a married woman and a mother, I sympathize with the wives of these men.

Why has my best friend become a home wrecker? What can I do to avoid being pulled into this affair without losing her friendship? -- MORALLY COMPROMISED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MORALLY COMPROMISED: There is no one-size-fits-all answer about why a woman dates married men. Some women do it because they fall in love; others because they don't care whom they hurt to get what they want; while still others see it as a competition they "have" to win -- again and again.

You do not have to allow yourself to be drawn into this. Avoid it by making clear to Diane that as much as you care about her, you don't approve, and want no contact with the new man in her life.

DEAR ABBY: Our son has not spoken to us in 2 1/2 years. This isn't the first time it has happened. When we are asked how he and his family are doing and where they are living, we don't know how to respond. What do we say when meeting someone new and they ask whether we have children?

If we answer that we have one son, a number of questions are sure to follow for which we don't have answers. Can you offer some appropriate responses to these questions that don't require having to say, "We don't know"? -- NEEDS AN ANSWER IN VIRGINIA

DEAR NEEDS AN ANSWER: When someone asks how your son and his family are doing and where they are living, say, "We are estranged." And if you are asked by a stranger if you have any children, look the person in the eye and reply, "I'd rather not discuss it."

DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor with a lovely family. While I enjoy talking to them, I don't know how to politely tell her to stay home when I have company. She will send her children to my door selling school items when my adult children are here for dinner. She comes into my yard with her kids when I'm entertaining friends from out of town.

I was brought up that if a neighbor has company, you should stay home unless you were invited. I just want some privacy when I have guests. -- NAMELESS IN THE EAST

DEAR NAMELESS: You do have a problem, because it appears your neighbor is someone who never learned boundaries. Unless you tell the woman that when you're entertaining guests, you want her to respect your privacy, she'll continue inviting herself over. And if you prefer that your guests not be subjected to a sales pitch from her children, when they knock, tell them you have company, can't talk to them right now and close your door.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a 49-year-old woman. I was recently contacted by the boyfriend I had when I was in my 20s. "Byron" was the love of my life, but I foolishly broke up with him. I then married a bum and had a child I am raising by myself on a very limited income.

I live in an apartment with mismatched furniture and have no money in savings. My former flame has done well and is now married with three children. I sent him a letter telling him how proud I am of him and of what he has achieved. His reply has brought back a flood of memories, and I feel terrible about where I am and being alone. How can I get over this? -- BYRON'S LONG-AGO EX

DEAR EX: If you want more frustration and heartbreak, continue swimming in your flood of memories. Keep in mind that you dumped Byron "foolishly," and use that life lesson to guide you going forward. Because you are alone now does not mean you'll be alone forever.

Living in an apartment with mismatched furniture does not mean your circumstances can't or won't improve. The answer to your question is to stay focused on the opportunities in front of you rather than looking over your shoulder. That's how you get over this.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a serious difference of opinion, and I'd like your input.

I am of Indian (Asian, not Native American) origin, and I would like our children to have Indian names because I think they are more unique and prettier.

My husband, who is American, contends they are often difficult to spell and pronounce, and moreover, since we're an "American" family, we ought to chose American names. I disagree.

One of the names he would like to give, I particularly dislike. He says it was his grandfather's name and he would like to carry it on. We don't have kids yet -- and at this rate we're not likely to anytime soon. What do you think about this stalemate? -- CONTEMPLATING PARENTHOOD

DEAR CONTEMPLATING: I think the two of you should compromise. Give the children American first names and Indian middle names. Problem solved.

DEAR ABBY: I was with my boyfriend for two years when he left me for another woman. She was a lunatic who was possessive and jealous, not to mention desperate.

After a while, he realized what he had with me and wanted to come back. Because I still loved him, I gave him another chance.

Abby, she hasn't stopped calling him! She parks in his driveway overnight. She refuses to take no for an answer, although he stopped having anything to do with her.

Now for the kicker: For his birthday, she bought them both a trip to a Caribbean island -- and he accepted! He said he was going only for the trip, but I'm here and he is there with her now. What should I do? -- WEEPING IN WINNIPEG

DEAR WEEPING: Send him on another trip -- a one-way trip out of your life once and for all. Your boyfriend is an opportunist, and you deserve better.

DEAR ABBY: I am a junior in high school and will graduate next year. I attend a private school where I have made many good friends -- teachers included -- and have created many happy memories.

I have just been hit with the realization that my time in high school is running out. Once I leave for college, I may never see or talk to my friends here again. I can't process the thought of having such great friends and mentors and losing them. I'm afraid for the future and how I will miss everything I've experienced at my school.

Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with all this? I can barely sleep because I feel like it's only going to get worse. -- LEAVING IT ALL BEHIND IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LEAVING IT ALL BEHIND: You have the rest of your junior year and senior year of high school to enjoy. Please don't cloud them by worrying that you will lose touch with your friends and mentors. Once you graduate, you will have the Internet and social networking sites to keep you in touch, and you can see each other during vacations.

You have great adventures ahead of you -- and so do they. True friendships don't have to end because of distance. While some of them may, others last a lifetime. And those are the ones that count.

DEAR ABBY: I have no contact with my mother for many reasons. It was difficult to sever the relationship, but after my son was born -- for his safety and well-being -- I felt I had no choice.

My mother has seen my son once, when he was 6 months old. She had just been released from jail and arrived at my home stoned and out of it. I made sure she found a safe way home and haven't spoken to her since.

My son will be 3 soon. Yesterday we were talking about families and he asked, "You don't have a mommy?" I replied, "Yes, I do. Her name is Cindy." Thankfully, he left it at that. But it started me thinking about what I should say when he asks me questions about his grandmother. I had planned on talking to him when he was older because addictions can run in families, and I want him to be aware of it when making choices in his teen and later years. What do you tell a 3-year-old who wonders who his grandma is? -- OUT OF ANSWERS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR OUT OF ANSWERS: You have already started the dialogue. When your son wants to know why Grandma Cindy doesn't visit, that will be the time you tell him she can't be around because she's sick and isn't able to be. As your son grows older, continue to answer his questions honestly and in an age-appropriate way.

DEAR ABBY: When we are in a restaurant eating a meal and someone we know comes by our table, he or she always reaches out to shake hands with me to be friendly. I am from the country and sometimes I pick up chicken strips, French fries, fish or hush puppies to eat them -- naturally my fingers get grease on them. Also, I don't know whether that person has washed his or her hands or not. So, what's a polite way to refuse to shake with someone? I don't want to be rude. I try not to bother people when they're eating because I believe that is a private time. -- ARKANSAS DINER

DEAR DINER: All you have to say is, "I'd love to shake hands, but mine are greasy." That's not rude; it's considerate -- and the person will probably thank you.