DEAR ABBY: A woman driving the car ahead of me was swerving and weaving in and out of the next lane. She would slow down, then speed up, and I thought she might have been drunk.

As I pulled up beside her, I realized she was using sign language to communicate with her passenger. She would turn her head toward the passenger, signing with both hands and ignoring her responsibilities of being a good driver. Is this legal?

That woman was driving recklessly, and I don't think she should have been driving if she couldn't pay attention to the road. -- SAFE DRIVER IN LEXINGTON, S.C.

DEAR SAFE DRIVER: According to the Beverly Hills, Calif., Police Department, the use of sign language is legal as long as it doesn't interfere with safe driving. The state of California has a basic speed law that states: "No person shall drive a vehicle upon a state highway at a speed greater than is reasonable or prudent having due regard for weather, visibility, the traffic on, and the surface and width of, the highway, and in no event which endangers the safety of persons or property."

In the case you have described, the person who was signing to her passenger was in violation of this law. I'm sure your state has similar regulations.

DEAR ABBY: When my father-in-law, "Herb," comes to visit, he rummages through our personal belongings whether they be in the garage, basement or storage closet. He feels compelled to "fix" anything he thinks needs fixing or rearranging. I am certain Herb thinks he's being helpful, but we have addressed this issue with him many times and we're always met with defensiveness and lack of understanding. He justifies his actions by listing all of the good deeds he does for us -- some of which are legit.

My husband and I are at a loss. We love Herb and want him to be a part of our lives and the lives of our children, but this makes us very uncomfortable. At times, we even feel violated in our own home. Where do we go from here? -- HERB'S FAMILY IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FAMILY: Your father-in-law may feel so comfortable at your place that he has it confused with HIS place. From here, you install a lock on every door in your home that you do not want Herb to enter without supervision. And so he won't be bored, plan ahead and consider setting aside some projects that do need fixing, so he won't be sitting around with nothing to do that makes him feel useful.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had a dinner party in my condo. One of my guests brought along his new roommate, whom I had never met. During the evening, the young man kept placing his foot on my coffee table and rubbing the sole of his shoe over the edge and corner. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. After the party ended, I realized my coffee table had been damaged by what he did.

What is a polite way to tell someone to remove his or her foot from my table without causing a scene or embarrassing him? -- MITCH IN CHICAGO

DEAR MITCH: Offer the person a footstool or something to place under the offending foot that would protect your table. Or, take an even more direct approach and say to the person in a calm manner, "Please don't put your foot there because the finish on my coffee table is easily damaged."

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm a junior in high school and taking multiple AP classes. With all the homework we're assigned, I sometimes need to use lunchtime to finish assignments. My problem is my friends follow me into the school library and talk to me while I'm working. Their constant chatter is distracting and prevents me from concentrating on my assignments.

I don't neglect my friends. I spend hours outside of school with them every week. But I'd rather be left alone when I'm trying to work. My friends don't understand that I'm more focused on academics and long-term goals than my short-term social life.

How can I politely get them to leave me alone when I'm working? -- FOCUSED ON MY GOALS IN LOS ANGELES

DEAR FOCUSED ON YOUR GOALS: If you haven't told your friends plainly how you feel and clearly drawn a line, you shouldn't blame them for being clueless when they cross it. Tell them you need to concentrate when you're in the library and that they are creating a problem for you. Not only will you be helping yourself, you'll be doing a favor for other students who are trying to study and who are also being distracted.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 34-year-old woman, and still single. Many people like me enjoy their lives, but I don't. I long to be married and to have a family. But because of my failures in the dating world I'm not optimistic about my chances.

The thought of marriage and family late in life frightens me, and I don't want to raise a child as a single parent. So, at my age, is it likely I may never be married?

I would appreciate it if your readers could share how they were able to change circumstances like mine. -- SINGLE STILL IN LITTLE ROCK

DEAR SINGLE STILL: Please do not resign yourself to singlehood quite yet. People are settling down and marrying later today for many reasons. Because you mentioned that the thought of marriage and family "later in life" frightens you, my inclination is to suggest that you discuss it with a psychologist or other licensed professional to see whether your fear may have been instrumental in causing your relationships to fail.

However, because you requested reader input regarding late marriage, I'm sure we'll hear from them, generously sharing their experiences. I know several couples who married later in life, and they are compatible and happy. Readers, what do you have to say?

DEAR ABBY: I was recently promoted to a new position at work, doing something I have always wanted to do. My supervisor and I are very different -- almost polar opposites, in fact. But we get along great and work well together.

Because we have started working more closely, she is now beginning to consider me her friend, asking me to "hang out" and occasionally offering me recreational drugs. I love working with her, but I don't want to hang out with her outside of work because of our differences. If something were to go wrong outside the office, it would affect our work relationship. How do I keep things strictly professional without offending her? -- WARY ASSISTANT IN ARIZONA

DEAR WARY ASSISTANT: By telling her (with a smile) that your time to socialize is extremely limited and, as much as you enjoy working with her, you prefer to keep your work relationships strictly professional. And should the woman offer you a controlled substance, simply say, "No thank you."

DEAR READERS: It's time for my "timely" reminder that daylight saving time ends at 2 a.m. Sunday -- so don't forget to turn your clocks back one hour before going to bed. (That's what I'll be doing.)

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Approximately every three hours, a home fire death occurs somewhere in the U.S. These fatalities occur because there wasn't a functioning smoke detector in the house.

According to the National Fire Protection Association, 96 percent of American homes have at least one smoke alarm. However, an estimated 19 percent of them do not work, primarily because of missing or dead batteries.

Please join me this year in urging your readers when they set their clocks back to standard time this Sunday to use the extra hour they gain to change and test the batteries in their smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors. It only takes a moment, and they offer the best defense a family has against the devastating effects of a home fire.

No one should be hurt or potentially lose a life for want of a working smoke alarm, yet death strikes nearly 3,000 people every year in home fires. A working smoke alarm will provide individuals and families precious extra seconds to get out safely.

Thank you for printing this, Abby. Together, we can make a difference and, hopefully, save a life. -- JACK PAROW, PRESIDENT, INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF FIRE CHIEFS

DEAR MR. PAROW: I hope my readers will take to heart your suggestion. This is a ritual I perform when I set my clocks back every year. And readers, please be aware that smoke alarms should be replaced every 10 years and there should be a mix of both ionization and photoelectric smoke alarms in your home so that you and your loved ones will be alerted to all types of home fires. This was news to me, and I hope you will mention it to your friends and loved ones!

DEAR ABBY: I have been unhappy for more than a year. People tell me my teens should be a happy time in my life, but they aren't. I have a pretty good life with no major problems. But because it's not perfect, I tend to take little things and agonize over them. My emotions are affecting my relationships with other people, my self-esteem and, most of all, my mind.

After doing some research and a lot of thinking, I know I need to see a therapist, but my problem is my parents. At first, I was terrified to tell them. But I finally told my mom. I'm still afraid to tell my dad.

My mother refuses to deal with it. When I ask her to find a therapist, she either won't talk about it, hoping I will forget about it, or she makes an excuse or makes it sound like I don't need one.

Abby, I'm only 15; I have no power. How can I get my parents to understand that I need a therapist and they should help me get some help? -- ALWAYS SAD IN ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR ALWAYS SAD: You appear to be a bright young lady who is very much in touch with your emotions. When someone is consistently depressed for more than a few weeks, it's a sign that professional help may be needed. There may be many reasons for your mother's reluctance to accept this -- from concern about the cost to fear that seeing a therapist might cause you to be labeled as having emotional problems.

However, because your sadness is persistent, the person who should decide if you need therapy (or medication) should be a licensed mental health professional. Because you can't get your mother to take you seriously, discuss what has been going on with a counselor at school.

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to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)