DEAR ABBY: Approximately every three hours, a home fire death occurs somewhere in the U.S. These fatalities occur because there wasn't a functioning smoke detector in the house.

According to the National Fire Protection Association, 96 percent of American homes have at least one smoke alarm. However, an estimated 19 percent of them do not work, primarily because of missing or dead batteries.

Please join me this year in urging your readers when they set their clocks back to standard time this Sunday to use the extra hour they gain to change and test the batteries in their smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors. It only takes a moment, and they offer the best defense a family has against the devastating effects of a home fire.

No one should be hurt or potentially lose a life for want of a working smoke alarm, yet death strikes nearly 3,000 people every year in home fires. A working smoke alarm will provide individuals and families precious extra seconds to get out safely.

Thank you for printing this, Abby. Together, we can make a difference and, hopefully, save a life. -- JACK PAROW, PRESIDENT, INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF FIRE CHIEFS

DEAR MR. PAROW: I hope my readers will take to heart your suggestion. This is a ritual I perform when I set my clocks back every year. And readers, please be aware that smoke alarms should be replaced every 10 years and there should be a mix of both ionization and photoelectric smoke alarms in your home so that you and your loved ones will be alerted to all types of home fires. This was news to me, and I hope you will mention it to your friends and loved ones!

DEAR ABBY: I have been unhappy for more than a year. People tell me my teens should be a happy time in my life, but they aren't. I have a pretty good life with no major problems. But because it's not perfect, I tend to take little things and agonize over them. My emotions are affecting my relationships with other people, my self-esteem and, most of all, my mind.

After doing some research and a lot of thinking, I know I need to see a therapist, but my problem is my parents. At first, I was terrified to tell them. But I finally told my mom. I'm still afraid to tell my dad.

My mother refuses to deal with it. When I ask her to find a therapist, she either won't talk about it, hoping I will forget about it, or she makes an excuse or makes it sound like I don't need one.

Abby, I'm only 15; I have no power. How can I get my parents to understand that I need a therapist and they should help me get some help? -- ALWAYS SAD IN ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR ALWAYS SAD: You appear to be a bright young lady who is very much in touch with your emotions. When someone is consistently depressed for more than a few weeks, it's a sign that professional help may be needed. There may be many reasons for your mother's reluctance to accept this -- from concern about the cost to fear that seeing a therapist might cause you to be labeled as having emotional problems.

However, because your sadness is persistent, the person who should decide if you need therapy (or medication) should be a licensed mental health professional. Because you can't get your mother to take you seriously, discuss what has been going on with a counselor at school.

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DEAR ABBY: I am writing about the letter you printed from "Haven't a Clue in New York" (Sept. 10), whose friend "Pam" stopped speaking to her with no explanation. A member of my family, "Trish," did that to my husband and me three years ago. We tried to find out what we had done, but Trish's husband -- my husband's brother -- kept making excuses and insisting everything was fine.

Trish had told me previously that she had cut people out of her life, so I guess this is just something that she does. Regardless, it hurts.

She and her husband were very kind and helpful to us when we moved to this area. I valued her friendship and had great respect for her. Even now I feel more pain and sadness for the loss of Trish in our lives than anger toward her.

"Haven't a Clue" must try not to take it personally. What happened is probably more about Pam than it is about her. -- DUMPED IN DIXIE

DEAR DUMPED: I agree and thank you for your comments. I received many thoughtful replies from readers who, like you, have "been there." Read on:

DEAR ABBY: If "Haven't a Clue" just lets things lie, further damage might be done to their friendship that could be avoided. She should send her friend a letter explaining that she has no idea what might have happened to cause the rift, that the relationship is important to her and she hopes Pam will tell her what happened so she'll have the opportunity to resolve the issue.

Letting things stay as they are and not contacting Pam could cause her to stew angrily on the issue until the friendship is damaged beyond repair. Better to reach out to her friend now to see if the situation can be improved, than to hope the storm blows over on its own. -- REBECCA IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: In her letter, "Haven't" said her neighbors suspected an infidelity issue was at the heart of the rift. In my case, my friend's husband had made a pass at me -- which I rejected. Shortly after, she stopped speaking to me. When mutual friends intervened, she would change the subject.

I continued to send birthday and holiday cards (with no response) and moved several states away. After a few years, I called. When I asked what the problem was and what could we do to resolve it, I was told, "I can't deal with your drama!" and she hung up.

Abby, I had seen her through two marriages, a divorce, her father's death and many other stressful life experiences. I finally realized, as you have advised many times in your column, I'm better off without her. -- MOVED ON IN NASHVILLE

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, my roommate and I were close and shared everything. When I returned for a visit after graduation, she refused to see me. I was crushed. I agonized for months over anything I might have said to offend her, and wrote her repeatedly. I received no response.

Years later, I tracked her down, told her how much her friendship had meant to me, and apologized again for whatever I had done that drove her away. She told me she had discovered she's bipolar. She had struggled with it and hoped that by cutting off all contacts and starting over, she'd gain some kind of balance and control in her life. She said I had never done anything wrong and that she cherished our years of friendship.

I still think of her and wish she had allowed me to help. However, I have to be satisfied that it wasn't my fault, wish her well, and smile when remembering our good times. -- KNOWS ALL TOO WELL

DEAR ABBY: A male cousin sent me an invitation to his wedding. I have met his fiancee a few times at family reunions and weddings, and she seems very sweet. The problem is my cousin sexually abused me for many years when I was younger. I have no desire to attend his wedding.

Am I obligated to send a card or a gift? I don't want his fiancee to think I don't like her, but it makes me sick to think of celebrating his marriage after what he did. What do I say when other family members ask why I'm not going? Am I obligated to tell her what he did? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN TEXAS

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: A young man who sexually abuses someone "for years" is a predator. And while the news may not be greeted warmly, you should say something to your cousin's fiancee before she marries him.

You could benefit from talking to a counselor who specializes in sexual abuse to make sure the effects of what happened to you don't affect you in the future. The counselor can help you decide what to do from there. If you don't attend the wedding, you are under no obligation to send a gift or a card.

DEAR ABBY: I could never figure out why "Margaret," my wife of 20 years, married me. After our wedding she tried to give me an image makeover. She'd buy me clothes I left hanging in the closet. She'd contradict and correct me in public. In general, she'd find fault with almost everything I did. She put me down often, and if I reacted, she would either claim it wasn't what she meant to say or tell me, "You do it, too." I finally gave up and left her.

Margaret has an excellent reputation, so people try to pry into why I left her. When I tell them I won't bad-mouth her, they tell me she says plenty about me. My response is, "Then you know all there is to know, don't you?"

Two women close to my age, plus one college-age girl, are trying to pursue me. I'm afraid if I don't leave this area, Margaret will allege that I left her for one of them.

Your thoughts, please. -- KEEPING MUM IN CLEVELAND

DEAR KEEPING MUM: You didn't mention how long ago your marriage ended or whether your divorce is final. But regardless, aren't you tired of worrying about what your ex is saying about you? The marriage is over -- kaput! A move isn't necessary. An effective way to ensure that no one spreads a rumor that you left Margaret for one woman would be to spend time being seen dating all of them.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for two years, and he still doesn't know my mother's last name (it's different from my maiden name), nor does he know the names of all of my siblings. He doesn't think it's a big deal. What is your opinion? -- NAME GAME IN KNOXVILLE, TENN.

DEAR NAME GAME: Either your husband is not much of a family man or he's not detail-oriented. Remembering someone's name is a sign of respect, and it appears your husband of two years has little of that for your family.