DEAR ABBY: I have been keeping a journal for my son since he was born 22 years ago. I have never missed a single day. I write about him regardless of whether I see him or not. Sometimes I'll jot down a verse I remembered, or something happening in his world or an item of newsworthy information. I have also written my thoughts about his life and decisions.

My dilemma is when I should give these writings to him. I don't want to keep them indefinitely because they are meant for him. He is married and has a son on the way. My inclination is to give him the writings of his life on the occasion of his son's birth. He has no idea I've been doing this, so it will be a complete surprise. I'd appreciate your input. -- BLOCKED WRITER IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR BLOCKED WRITER: What an amazing gift those journals will be. However, allow me to caution you against giving them to your son when his child is born. There will be a lot going on at that time, and you do not want to distract from that momentous occasion. My advice is to wait until his next milestone birthday and present them to him when he's 25. And because you enjoy journaling, consider starting one about your own life then.

DEAR ABBY: I have always enjoyed Halloween. I like seeing the children in their costumes and, for most of the little ones, it is a fun and magical time.

In our neighborhood, a group of 15 to 20 parents escort their trick-or-treating children from door to door. Sometimes there are 25 to 30 kids. When they approach a house for their treats, the parents remain on the sidewalk, apparently oblivious to what's going on when the door opens.

We have a small front porch that rises about 8 inches above the sidewalk. The kids push and shove, jockeying for position to get their "loot." Last year, a 5-year-old fell off our porch. Fortunately, she was not hurt. The parents did not issue any directions to their children to take turns accepting our candy because they were too busy chatting among themselves.

Because of the inherent danger to unsupervised children (and the possibility of a lawsuit if there should be an accident), I will not be turning on my porch light this year -- the signal in our area that alerts kids that the home is participating in trick-or-treat.

I hope my letter will remind parents to practice mindfulness and make this Sunday a Happy Halloween! -- LIGHTS OUT IN HARRISBURG

DEAR LIGHTS OUT: So do I, and that's why I'm printing your letter, which arrived just in time for me to include it in today's column. Last year your neighbors were lucky the child who fell didn't break a wrist or an ankle. Parents, when escorting your little ghosts, goblins and vampires, please remain vigilant. Common sense must prevail.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in love with my best friend. It seems so simple when I say it, but when it comes to telling him, the words never come out right. I don't know if I should even say anything. What if it ruins the amazing friendship we already have? Is it worth risking it all? -- HESITANT IN FLORIDA

DEAR HESITANT: Yes, it is, so tell him how you feel. If he has feelings for you, you'll get what you're angling for. If he doesn't, it does not mean your friendship must end. It will let you know that if you want a romantic relationship you are free to look elsewhere. Better to know it sooner than later.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband, children and I were visiting our friend "Rosemary" and her husband. Our boys were playing with water guns in the front yard. One of them opened Rosemary's car door to block himself from his brother's line of fire. Rosemary, understandably, became upset and went to shut the door before the interior of her vehicle got soaked. As she did so, our son slammed the door and caught her hand in it, breaking two fingers.

We apologized profusely, thought all was forgiven and returned home. A week ago, we received a letter from Rosemary stating that we owe her money for several weeks of lost wages due to the mishap. (She's a massage therapist.) I feel that accidents happen and it just as easily could have happened to her if our children weren't present. My husband says we should give her the money because it was our child who injured her and it's a way to save our friendship. What should we do? -- "HAND"-ED A CHALLENGE

DEAR "HAND"-ED: What your son did was unfortunate, but your attitude about it is appalling. You should not only reimburse Rosemary for the work she lost, you should also offer to pay for her medical expense.

P.S. Your son should also take responsibility and offer to do errands for her for a specific period of time.

DEAR ABBY: Over the weekend, I visited my best friend out of state. On Saturday, we'd finished touring the state capitol building and exited opposite from where we'd entered. Outside, halfway down the steps, we saw a wedding was about to start. I love weddings and wanted to watch the ceremony. The idea made my friend a little uncomfortable, but I saw no problem with it. We were about 100 feet away from the event and didn't interfere or mingle with any of the people involved. We left as soon as the ceremony finished. Of course, I wouldn't think of inviting ourselves to the reception.

My friend and I didn't argue. I'm just curious about whether watching the wedding was inappropriate under those circumstances. -- LOVES THE POMP IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR LOVES THE POMP: Because the wedding was held in a public place and you kept your distance, there was no reason why pausing to watch the ceremony was inappropriate. Nor was there any reason for the wedding party to expect complete privacy.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband who is loving, a good friend to me, and a loving father to our children. Due to back problems and other contributing factors, he is unable to work.

I know he would rather be working and that he's unhappy his injuries keep him from doing so. Our problem comes when people we know or meet ask him the inevitable, "So, what do you do for a living?"

Abby, neither of us has a job outside the home. What can we politely tell these people that will satisfy their curiosity without embarrassing my husband? -- TONGUE-TIED IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR TONGUE-TIED: I see nothing embarrassing about your husband replying, "I was working as a ( ), but injured my back and can't work, so I'm on disability." It's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I am a rabbi who was asked by a funeral director to talk with a family dealing with the wife's terminal illness. When I met Mindy, I was touched by her bravery and sensitivity in confronting her disease. She shared that she and her family were taking charge of the calendar and moving all the holidays forward so they could squeeze in as many celebrations as possible in the coming weeks.

Regardless of the actual date on the calendar, they were celebrating secular and religious holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. These events included decorating, serving the appropriate food associated with the observance -- even wearing costumes for Halloween.

On my last visit, Mindy described something else she had done. She invited relatives who lived far away to be with her and gave them quilts she had created over her lifetime. She remarked that it made sense for her to be able to say her goodbyes rather than miss that opportunity. She described it as a "living wake." A few weeks later, she was gone.

For Mindy, condensing the holidays gave her the ability to control her medical situation in a gracious and innovative way. Her choice of saying goodbye to loved ones gave her -- and them -- time to heal any rifts that had occurred. In dealing with her own impending death, she bestowed a special gift to us for these upcoming holidays.

Let loved ones know today how important they are to you. If there is a way of resolving a family disagreement, do it as soon as possible. Life is too short for many of these disagreements. Finally, appreciate and enjoy the time we have with family, relatives and friends. It is truly irreplaceable. -- RABBI ALBERT SLOMOVITZ

DEAR RABBI SLOMOVITZ: Well said. I confess that your account of Mindy's final weeks and her passing left me feeling very emotional. It is a profound lesson for us all, as is a poem that is a favorite of my dear mother's and mine:

THE TIME IS NOW

-- Author Unknown

If you are ever going to love me,

Love me now, while I can know

The sweet and tender feelings

Which from true affection flow.

Love me now

While I am living.

Do not wait until I'm gone

And then have it chiseled in marble,

Sweet words on ice-cold stone.

If you have tender thoughts of me,

Please tell me now.

If you wait until I am sleeping,

Never to awaken,

There will be death between us

And I won't hear you then.

So, if you love me, even a little bit,

Let me know it while I am living

So I can treasure it.