DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old daughter, "Skye," is starting to go through puberty. She's not comfortable discussing things with me; instead she goes to her older sister with all her questions. They talk to each other in whispered tones in their bedroom with the door closed and locked.
When I try to discuss things with Skye, she becomes red in the face and refuses to talk to me. She is now ashamed to even have me see her undressed, but has no shyness about her body with her sister.
They have always had a close relationship, and I am pleased about that, but I feel shut out of what should be something between a mother and a daughter. I do not feel I have ever done anything to make Skye feel uncomfortable with me about such things, and I feel hurt to be excluded like this.
My older daughter was very open with me about what she was experiencing when she was going through puberty. I have tried to ask Skye what the problem is; she won't talk to me. What can I do? -- SHUT OUT IN KANSAS CITY
DEAR SHUT OUT: No two children are alike, and it appears that your younger daughter is modest to the extreme. It's possible that because Skye has always shared a room with her older sister, that's the reason she's more comfortable discussing the changes that are occurring with her rather than you.
My advice is to step back and don't push Skye. Be glad she can confide in her sister, and check with your older girl periodically to find out if there is anything you should know.