DEAR ABBY: You told "No Ink in Louisville" (Aug. 24) that her friend cared more about getting a tattoo than the feelings of the bride-to-be, and her "little sister" should have postponed getting one until after the wedding.
I think "No Ink" was insensitive on several counts. If she truly loves her dear friend, why couldn't she simply accept her friend's wish to wear a tattoo at the wedding? Shouldn't the love and acceptance of her friend come first? We are talking about true friendship. Should body appearance be so important to the bride that she thinks the tattoo will ruin her wedding or the photographs?
Friendship works both ways. I think both women were insensitive in their regard for each other, but this was an opportunity for the bride-to-be to show her maturity. I see this as simply another case of how consumed we are as a society by appearance. Come on! It's only a tattoo. -- BOB IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR BOB: Thank you for writing. I had an "inkling" my readers might have varied suggestions and opinions regarding that letter. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I think the tattoo would not only be visible for pictures, but also take away the beauty of the entire event. Attendants should complement the wedding not distract from it. I would ask the bridesmaid to please wear a sheer matching jacket -- or bow out. After all, it is the bride and groom's day -- and it is a big deal. -- NO TATTOO IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR ABBY: If "Ink" cared about her friend's feelings, she would never have requested that she wait six months to get a tattoo. There were people I would have loved to have had in my wedding party, but because I knew they were neither punctual nor reliable, they were guests, not part of my bridal party. I never would ask someone to put his or her life on hold for my one day. -- JILLIAN IN OAKLAND, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: The photographer can easily remove the tattoo from the photos. Thank goodness for digital photography! We have a picture of our son that was taken with his now ex-girlfriend and, because of the wonders of modern photography, he is now standing alone and looking mighty fine! -- DELETED HER FROM THE PICTURE
DEAR ABBY: There are many makeup concealers made to specifically camouflage tattoos. "Ink" can find plenty of them in makeup stores or online. They may be expensive, but if her friend agrees, it would be a small price to pay for the bride's peace of mind. And in this situation, because it's the bride who wants to hide the tattoo, I think she should be the one to buy the concealer. -- INK LOVER IN HONOLULU
DEAR ABBY: I wear loud, bright colors and have magenta-colored hair. My cousin is being married in a few weeks, and I offered to tone it down and wear muted colors so I would not stand out. She replied, "That isn't you," and that I should wear what I normally would -- vivid colors and all. We love each other and we respect our differences. Shouldn't that be what a wedding is all about -- love? -- KIM IN OAK HARBOR, WASH.