DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Ronnie," and I have a very active and "different" sex life. I'm happy I have found someone who is so compatible, but it has also presented a problem for me when we're out with friends.
Our bedroom activities occasionally include a third party -- a female. I'm perfectly happy with this arrangement because I am the one who initiated it. However, I have a problem with Ronnie's recruiting practices. He seems to think that because I have one friend who has joined us, all of them are fair game. Most of my friends are not aware of our activities. They're mainstream, and it's embarrassing when he propositions them. I try to blame it on booze, but they get offended. I have lost one good friend over it.
I have tried repeatedly to explain to Ronnie that there's a time and a place for everything. He just doesn't get it. He says not to worry about what others think. I don't want to end what we have, but I need him to understand that our sex life is not open for discussion among our tight-knit group of friends. Any suggestions? -- EMBARRASSED IN JERSEY
DEAR EMBARRASSED: Because you have explained to Ronnie that what he's doing is making you uncomfortable, that not all of your friends are into threesomes and it has already cost you one friend -- then face it. He doesn't want to "get it." Or, this may be his way of letting you know that he wants to do some recruiting of his own.
Before any more of your private business is broadcast, you will have to decide if Ronnie's ability in the bedroom makes up for the fact that he's embarrassing in other important social situations. Only you can decide that one.