DEAR ABBY: After many months of dating a wonderful woman, "Amy," we have set a date for our wedding. However, there's a problem. As the date draws closer, Amy is concerned about my lack of physical intimacy with her.

While I am very attracted to her, I am having some doubts. I recently noticed a young man at my health club and experienced some unfamiliar feelings. I don't think I am gay, but I am no longer sure that Amy is what I have been looking for.

Should I push these feelings aside and continue our plans for the wedding? Or should I tell Amy the truth about these feelings? -- SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SEARCHING: You should absolutely tell your fiancee the truth about the feelings you're having -- all of them. To marry a woman knowing you might be more attracted to a young man at your health club would bring everyone involved great pain. It is very important that you find out who you are and what you're looking for before coupling up with anyone. While Amy may not be thrilled to hear what you have to say, you owe it to her and to yourself to be frank before this goes any further.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I dated for eight years before we were married two years ago. He has a son from a previous relationship, and we have a 9-month-old son together.

My problem is my mother-in-law. More often than not, she calls me by my stepson's mother's name. Abby, that woman and my husband haven't been together for more than 12 years!

My husband thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing. He says I should forget about it, but it bothers me. My relationship with his mother has suffered because of it. She lives near us and helps out with watching our baby, so I see her quite often. What are your thoughts on this? -- ALSO KNOWN AS ...

DEAR A.K.A.: If your mother-in-law's slip of the tongue happened occasionally, I would agree with your husband that it's no big deal. Because it happens often, it appears the woman is doing it deliberately. Have you confronted her about it and told her how hurtful it is? If you haven't, you should. And if it doesn't stop, then you're within your rights to limit your time with her and/or arrange for other supervision for your baby. It would be confusing for him to grow up around a grandmother who calls his mother by a stranger's name.

DEAR ABBY: In response to "Resentful in Michigan" (Aug. 2), I think you missed the mark. Etiquette and social mores may dictate that it's acceptable for a man to give his future daughter-in-law away, but "Resentful" was speaking from a place of pain that is valid.

Her father didn't walk her down the aisle because her mother's job was more important to them, which made her feel she was second to the job in her parents' hearts. Now her emotions are telling her that her brother's fiancee is more important as well.

If she doesn't speak her mind, her resentment could be redirected to her brother and his new family and cause irreparable damage. She should address this with her brother to help them understand that sitting and watching her dad walk another woman down the aisle under these circumstances would be devastating. The brother's fiancee could ask another relative to escort her -- or walk down alone since this is her third trip to the altar.

At least the father, while not understanding "Resentful's" pain, is taking her feelings into consideration. Now, if her brother and his fiancee will try to understand her feelings, they'll be validated and an amicable solution can be found. -- HEATHER IN RICHARDSON, TEXAS

DEAR HEATHER: You are not the only reader who disagreed with my response to that letter. I reasoned that the writer did not have the right to decide what role her father would or would not play in her brother's wedding. I also suspected that the reason her parents did not attend her wedding -- much less participate -- may have been they did not approve of the groom or the circumstances under which she was being married.

However, because many people felt my answer was insensitive to the writer's feelings, I'll share some reactions from readers:

DEAR ABBY: The father was "too busy" to walk her down the aisle but now he'd do it for his son's future wife? Her father didn't even offer an apology or try to understand. He said only that he wouldn't walk his son's fiancee down the aisle if "Resentful" was hurt by it. If he had apologized and admitted he was wrong not to have done it for his daughter, she could have forgiven him. I don't blame her for being resentful! -- ALONDRA IN LONDON, ONTARIO

DEAR ABBY: Speaking from personal experience, there are few things worse than being rejected by your parents. You should have rebuked them in the strongest possible way. To deny their daughter on her most important day, then grant the same privilege to an outsider (on her third wedding, no less) is the height of insensitivity. Her parents are horrible. Her feelings are normal, natural, justified and deserved validation. Shame on you for siding with the parents! -- PATRICK IN MESQUITE, NEV.

DEAR ABBY: That woman has every right to feel as she does. Her brother was selfish for not considering his sister's deep disappointment on the biggest day of her life. As a minister, I encourage family members to work through their hurts with each other. But forcing someone to pretend all is well when it isn't doesn't help the healing process. It could drive the family even further apart. -- PAUL T. IN NEW YORK

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion. Since the brother's fiancee is on her third marriage, why not ask one of her ex-husbands to give her away. I'm sure he'd be happy to. -- JOANNE IN WATERTOWN, WIS.

DEAR ABBY: Now is the time of year your readers should get vaccinated against influenza to protect themselves and their loved ones throughout the 2010-11 flu season.

This year, our nation has a new and very simple recommendation to keep our population safe: Everyone 6 months of age and older should get vaccinated! Doing it now will protect you throughout the entire flu season, which can run into the spring months.

The influenza vaccine is safe -- you cannot get influenza from it. In addition to getting vaccinations in doctors' offices, people can receive them in pharmacies, supermarkets, senior centers and schools. Parents should be aware that children younger than 9 years old may need two doses.

Although prevention actions like washing your hands and covering your cough help to prevent transmission of the flu virus, the best way to avoid spreading it to others is to be vaccinated every year. -- DEBORAH L. WEXLER, M.D., EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, IMMUNIZATION ACTION COALITION

DEAR DR. WEXLER: I'm pleased to know that this year's flu vaccine is available early, and that there is enough for everyone.

Readers, because influenza is contagious one to two days before symptoms appear, it can be spread to others before we even know we're infected. That's why it's important that everyone be vaccinated not only for our own protection, but also for the protection of family, friends and others in the community who are vulnerable to the serious and sometimes deadly complications of influenza. The good news is, this year there is no need for a separate H1N1 shot because H1N1 protection is included in this year's vaccine.

For more information, contact your health care provider, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website at � HYPERLINK "http://www.cdc.gov/flu" ��www.cdc.gov/flu�, or call the CDC Info Center at (800) 232-4636.

P.S. Dr. Wexler tells me that if you miss being vaccinated this fall, you can still get vaccinated in January or later because flu season often doesn't peak until February. But dear readers, for my sake, please do it sooner rather than later so I won't worry about you!

DEAR ABBY: I'm pregnant with my first child. This will be my parents' first grandchild and my fiance's parents' fourth. My mother lives in another state and won't be able to attend the birth, and my fiance and his father are not close.

My problem is my future mother-in-law. When she asked to be present during the birth, I told her no. She became extremely upset when she found out my father will be in the room.

I have nothing against my future mother-in-law; it's just that she's a drama queen, and I'm not comfortable sharing such an emotional event with her. Am I wrong for allowing only one grandparent and not the other? -- MOM-TO-BE IN MESA, ARIZ.

DEAR MOM-TO-BE: The birth of a first baby, while a happy event, can also be scary, challenging and traumatic. It is important that you be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. If you prefer that only your fiance and father be present, then that's how it should be. Any witnesses should be at the invitation of the person doing the delivering, and frankly, for your future mother-in-law to have asked to be present, rather than waiting to be invited, was presumptuous.