DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a precious 2-year-old Boston terrier, "Bailey," who is our life. We consider him our child and are heartbroken any time we must leave him alone.

I am wondering if there is any way I could train Bailey to use a fire blanket in case of a fire if we're not there. Bailey loves to burrow into blankets, so it's not too much of a stretch. I couldn't bear the thought of our little one not being able to help himself if he was locked in during a fire. Any suggestions? -- BAILEY'S MOMMY IN TOM'S RIVER, N.J.

DEAR BAILEY'S MOMMY: I have two words for you: dog sitter! If there was a fire and you weren't there, Bailey could die of smoke inhalation. A dog sitter is insurance that even in case of fire someone is around to ensure his safety.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old woman with one child. Having always wanted to adopt, I looked into international adoptions and foster care adoptions. I also became a foster care provider for two years. I have always wanted to expand my family, but adoption is expensive and foster care wasn't the right fit.

My younger sister, "Caitlin," married her abusive high school boyfriend and immediately became pregnant. She filed for divorce last year. Because he still controlled her, they reconnected and she's now pregnant with a second child. They are still divorcing, and this time she has no intention of reconciling.

I would desperately love to adopt this baby. When I approached Caitlin about it she said allowing me to adopt her child would make her feel "too guilty." How do I convey to her my great desire to adopt her child without making her feel like less than a parent? I wouldn't feel so strongly if I thought she actually wanted this baby, but she acts like this pregnancy is a burden. -- MATERNAL IN TULSA

DEAR MATERNAL: Your sister is experiencing a difficult pregnancy for many reasons, so please do not pressure her. I'm sure she already knows how much you want a baby -- so be supportive and let her know you are there for her. Period.

DEAR ABBY: My supervisor "Valerie" is smart and beautiful. However she is a few pounds overweight. The problem is she thinks she can still squeeze into a size 8. You can tell she's interested in looking professional and stylish by the clothes she picks out, but she still looks terrible. She is obviously in denial about her appearance, and her co-workers and underlings talk about her behind her back.

Because Valerie is my supervisor, I do not feel comfortable telling her how unprofessional she really looks. I am surprised that none of her friends has told her (tactfully), or that her supervisor hasn't told her how unprofessional it is that we all can see the outline of her underwear.

The shame of it is that it's hard to take Valerie seriously in her professional capacity when all one can think about is her clothes don't fit. How does one approach such a subject with someone who isn't really a friend? -- GROSSED OUT AT WORK

DEAR GROSSED OUT: If one is a subordinate, one doesn't. Poor Valerie may be in denial about her weight gain, or she may be having trouble shedding the pounds. Someone who could have a word with her about it would be her supervisor -- who might be inclined to do so if word reached her/him that Valerie's attire was not only distracting, but has become a main topic of conversation in the office.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend recently started turning away when I try to kiss him. When I asked him why, he explained that he has developed into a "germaphobe."

In the beginning of our relationship we never had this problem. What is happening? -- NEVER BEEN KISSED, LATELY

DEAR NEVER: Your boyfriend may be embarrassed to tell you that your breath is unpleasant. Or he may be trying to distance himself romantically. I recommend you ask him directly if either of these could account for the change in his behavior. If the answer is no and he really has developed a phobia about germs, then you'll have to decide if a kissless romance is enough for you.

DEAR ABBY: I have this friend, "Miranda." We share a lot of interests and I think we have the potential to be something amazing. I'm not a shy guy, but when I'm around her, I can't put my thoughts into words.

We will graduate from high school this year, and I'm afraid to lose touch with her and blow my chances of making our friendship progress. Any advice on what to do would be wonderful. -- MISSING OUT IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR MISSING OUT: At this point in your lives it would be premature to declare undying love. But it would be nice if you told Miranda that you think she's a special person and you'd like to stay in touch regardless of what directions your lives take you. That's a nonthreatening, huge compliment. And even if you haven't dated, she may be open to the idea of keeping up the contact. You'll never know if you don't try.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 20 years has always exaggerated and embellished things. It doesn't matter what subject, the unvarnished version is never good enough.

The other day we "discussed" why it takes my son and me only 15 to 20 minutes to get to a nearby town, while he is adamant that it takes him a half-hour to 45 minutes. Mind you, this is driving the same route and obeying the same speed limits. I asked him how that could be. His answer? "Because you guys drive the SUV and I drive the little Ford Festiva."

Huh? I'm no brainiac, but how can the size of the vehicle make that much difference when you're going the same route and speed? -- EXASPERATED IN BURBANK, WASH.

DEAR EXASPERATED: It can't. And after 20 years of marriage to your husband, you should know better. (Could he be making a pit stop?)

DEAR ABBY: I work a night shift, and I am often still in my pajamas in the late morning.

If someone comes to my door I'm never certain if I should answer in my robe -- which may make the caller uncomfortable -- or not answer even though it's obvious that I'm home. What's the best thing to do besides getting dressed earlier? -- JAMMIED UP IN IRON RIVER, MICH.

DEAR JAMMIED UP: If your caller is a friend, he or she should know what your work schedule is and understand why you are still in your pajamas. If the person is a workman, you might be more comfortable being dressed before the appointment. However, if you don't know who is at your door, you are under no obligation to open it to anyone, nor to offer any explanation about your attire.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I met a man here in Afghanistan. (We are both deployed.) Since that day we have been together. "Ben" knows that I love him very much. He is scheduled to leave in two months. I am scheduled to leave two months after that.

Ben lives in Georgia, and I come from Texas. We want to make it work when we leave here. I'll continue with my job, but because he's a contractor, Ben will be unemployed. I'm not worried about it because I know he's a go-getter.

Abby, I have had difficulty when it comes to relationships. I am scared to let my guard down and let this good man provide a life for my children and me. I trusted my kids' father and he walked out of our lives. Ben is everything I have prayed for. He took the step of giving me a promise ring and told me he'd always be here for me. Please give me some good advice on how I should handle this. -- IN LOVE IN AFGHANISTAN

DEAR IN LOVE: Being under life-and-death pressure sharpens all of the senses. When people are in a strange or dangerous environment, their emotions can be heightened. This is not to say that people in a war zone can't fall legitimately in love -- it does happen. And it may have happened for you and Ben. However, the test of the strength of your relationship will come after you are both back home in the USA.

You two have a ways to go before you step up to the altar. Your children need to meet Ben, get to know him and accept him. And he needs to prove to you that he can be not only a life partner to you, but a father to your children.

So my heartfelt advice is to take this one step at a time. Don't rush into anything. If this was meant to be, it will happen in its own time.

DEAR ABBY: A close female friend moved near me with the intention of starting a serious relationship. We're in our 20s and finishing college.

"Hallie" has just been diagnosed with stage 2 ovarian cancer. While her prognosis is fairly optimistic, her doctors say she'll be unable to have children. Hallie loves kids. Knowing she can't have any has broken her heart. I love kids, too, but it's not an absolute requirement for me.

I just started student teaching and can't be there for her during her chemo treatments and doctor visits. Last night, after a few days of pushing me away, Hallie offered me an "out." She told me I should think carefully about everything before deciding to go through all of this with her. I want to be with her in every way I can, but I can't help wondering how things may change for both of us if she beats this. -- TORN APART IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TORN APART: Hallie is an intelligent young woman. She understands the strain a diagnosis like hers can place on a relationship, so do as she has asked. If she beats the cancer, and you stay together and decide to marry, you will be like many other childless couples -- deciding whether to remain childless, adopt or hire a surrogate. You will also appreciate more fully than most what a gift each day you have together really is. And you'll love each other until death do you part.

DEAR ABBY: What is an acceptable time frame to receive a response to a question you send via phone texting? -- WAITING IN MONTGOMERY, ILL.

DEAR WAITING: Although we live in a world where most of us seek instant gratification, the answer depends upon how busy the person you are texting is.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)