DEAR ABBY: My father is having an affair -- another one. It is not the first time I have found evidence of it. I was using his computer to work on my grandmother's memorial and an IM popped up from a woman telling him to meet her at a family event my mother was not supposed to attend. Her message to Dad was extremely sexual and very upsetting.
The "other woman" is an old high school friend of my parents' and a friend of the family. I have confronted my father in the past, even threatened to end my relationship with him if it didn't stop.
My heart breaks for Mama, but she loves Dad so much she will stand by him through anything. Somehow, I always manage to get stuck in the middle of their marital problems, and I was even blamed for their separation five years ago.
This has affected my relationship with my boyfriend because I have extreme trust issues. I find myself hating my father more and more each day. Please help me before I lose my sanity. -- DAUGHTER OF A CHEATER
DEAR DAUGHTER: For your own emotional well-being you must remove yourself from the drama and dysfunction in your parents' marriage. You cannot fix what's wrong with it; your father doesn't want to and your mother appears to have made peace -- if you can call it that -- with his infidelities.
Not all men are like your father. Many men respect women and are capable of having loving, monogamous marriages. You need professional help, and with good reason, and I urge you to get it. If you don't, your hatred of your father may color the way you regard all men, and it will always be a problem.