DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old female who has recently come to terms with the fact that I am bisexual. My problem lies in the fact that I am strongly attracted to one of my best friends. I have liked her for several years, and she is a large part of the reason I discovered I was bisexual. I know she is straight and won't ever feel the same about me, but every time I'm around her, my romantic feelings for her start up again.

It has reached the point where I'm considering avoiding her to stop these feelings. None of my close friends are gay, and I don't feel comfortable discussing this with them. Is there any way I can still be friends with her without being so intensely attracted to her? -- ATTRACTED TO MY BEST FRIEND

DEAR ATTRACTED: You can do something about your actions, but not about your feelings. You will probably always be attracted to your friend. You will be less attracted -- and better able to handle your feelings -- once you have become involved with someone else.

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing "Rodney" for four months. He is very nice, and we get along well. My problem is I am not totally attracted to him because of some dental issues.

Shortly after we started dating he told me he chews tobacco, which has contributed to his yellowing teeth. Because of this I find it hard to kiss him. Rodney has noticed it, but I told him I am not big on kissing -- which is really not the case.

How should I approach the subject with Rodney? This issue keeps me from completely falling for him. Please offer me some advice if you can. -- TURNED OFF IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR TURNED OFF: If you truly care about Rodney, confront the subject directly, because if he doesn't do something about his addiction to tobacco, your romance won't last. Tell him you weren't honest about how you feel about kissing and that his breath and yellow teeth have kept you from fully enjoying it.

Most people don't realize how dangerous and addictive chewing tobacco is. Studies show that the amount of nicotine in the bloodstream of "chewers" is twice as great as for smokers. Chewing tobacco is a cause for cancer of the mouth, lip, tongue, cheek and throat, heart disease, tooth decay and receding gums, as well as halitosis (bad breath). Nicotine gum can help Rodney quit and possibly save his life. So speak up -- for his sake. And yours.

DEAR ABBY: When I was in college, I dated "Alex." Three months later I found out he had a steady girlfriend, "Jane." Over the next two years Alex continued to cheat on Jane with me because Jane wouldn't have sex with him. I finally told her what had been going on because I was angry, and I ended the relationship with Alex.

Ten years have passed, and I hear they are being married. Do you see anything weird/strange/wrong with that? If a man cheated on me and later proposed marriage, I wouldn't accept because the thought of the other woman would always be on my mind. Would you share your thoughts? -- DUMBFOUNDED IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR DUMBFOUNDED: OK. I think it's time you stopped obsessing about a relationship that ended 10 years ago. It appears Jane has waited a long time for Alex to get serious -- and now he has. What happens after they marry will be her problem, not yours. Let it go and concentrate on your own life.

DEAR ABBY: When I was a young teen, my mother gave me a copy of your booklet "What Every Teen Should Know." She left it on my bed for me to read at my own pace, and let me know that I could come to her if I had any questions, when I was ready to ask them.

For years that booklet served as a reference guide for me. I also lent it to many of my friends whose parents were not so forthcoming with this important information. Being informed and not believing urban myths made a big difference in our decisions -- and we're all doing well now.

A decade later, I often work with teens who have received no comprehensive education about sex, drugs, or the impact of decisions they make during adolescence. Your booklet remains an important tool in these kids' educations. I write to encourage all parents, grandparents and relatives of teens to keep a copy of this booklet handy -- and to thank those who have already done so. -- KRISTEN WOYTONIK, DOVER, N.H.

DEAR KRISTEN: Thank you for your endorsement of my teen booklet. I am pleased that you continue to find it useful. Today many young people engage in adult activities at a much earlier age than the teenagers of previous generations. That's why it is so important for parents to take the initiative and discuss alcohol, drugs, sex and FAMILY VALUES with their children well before nature takes over and they start experimenting.

My teen booklet contains answers to commonly asked questions such as: How old must a girl be before she can get pregnant? Can a girl get pregnant the first time she has sex? What time of the month is a girl 100 percent safe? How old must a boy be before he can father a child?

Another important topic covered is HOW TO AVOID DATE RAPE AND WHAT TO DO IF IT HAPPENS. To order "What Every Teen Should Know," send your name and address, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

My teen booklet also contains information on contraception and sexually transmitted diseases and how to recognize them. It has been distributed in doctors' offices and used to promote discussion by educators and religious leaders, and is often used by parents who find it difficult to discuss sex with their children.

DEAR ABBY: My niece is being married -- again. This will be No. 5. What kind of gift would you suggest? I am out of ideas, as I'm thinking she already has everything. The wedding is in a few months. Help! -- STUMPED IN RENO

DEAR STUMPED: After the second -- or third -- wedding, one would think the marriage would be a quiet, low-key affair. And because you have already given her four wedding gifts, what you should send her is your good wishes for a long and successful marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I understand the frustration of "Takes My Job Seriously" (June 1), the supervisor who complained about her female employees requesting time off for kids' school and sports events or beauty appointments. Over the last few years I have noticed a decline in work ethic across the board.

Phone calls go unreturned, workers stand around idle and errors are made on important forms. People seem to do the minimum necessary to make it to the end of the day, and supervisors aren't much different -- they allow this behavior. Years ago, people worked hard for their money. Now they hardly work. -- GETTING THE JOB DONE

DEAR GETTING: Your letter was one of many I received filled with interesting -- and varied -- comments on this topic. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am the owner of a recruiting company, and I agree with the writer's views on the quality of today's work force. I hear from many frustrated clients seeking employees who actually want to work for their paycheck. We have turned into an entitlement society. No one wants to take responsibility for his/her work or life any longer. And they expect big-time money for no responsibility. -- VALERIE IN GEORGIA

DEAR ABBY: "TMJS" fails to take into consideration the evolution of the work force. Not only are there more women working now, but we usually work far beyond the regular 9-to-5 grind. As a single mom, I need flexibility in my schedule to get everything done that's demanded of me at work and at home. I take my laptop home every night and work after my son goes to sleep.

"TMJS" may feel superior because I'm not in the office as much as she is, but I'll bet I work more hours per week. Technology now allows us the flexibility of choice. -- BONNIE C.

DEAR ABBY: I supervise several younger women. Studies have shown that while these employees want to do a good job, they find it equally important to have "work/life" balance. I actually think they are smarter than we are. We tend to overwork and feel guilty if we take a day for ourselves. If they take the time they have earned and use it for what they enjoy -- good for them. -- WORKAHOLIC IN FORT COLLINS

DEAR ABBY: "TMJS" should update her management training. While we mourn the loss of the way things were, there have been positive changes as well. Understanding diversity in the workplace is imperative for a successful manager. My 20-year-old would be shocked at the concept of staying in one job for 45 years -- but that was the norm in my dad's day. In this global economy, "different" does not equal "bad." -- PATTY IN LANCASTER, PA.

DEAR ABBY: "TMJS" must have entered the work force when companies still took care of loyal, longtime employees by providing good benefits and job security. It paid to go the extra mile for your employer because you knew your company would return the favor when needed.

In recent years this has changed. Workers today realize that sacrificing their personal life for their professional one does not necessarily reap any benefits. The so-called breakdown of the family unit may be the result of workers dedicating themselves more to their jobs than to their home lives. -- FAMILY FIRST IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: I supervise young, highly paid federal employees and expect them to work hard for the money taxpayers pay them. They seem to think their personal problems should be mine. I disagree. A job is a privilege too many people fail to appreciate until it's gone. -- SERIOUS, TOO, IN THE SOUTHWEST