DEAR ABBY: My parents are both in their 80s, and I try to stay in touch with them as often as possible. Unfortunately, one issue I cannot get through to them is when to call 911 for help. Example: If Mom trips and falls, Dad needs to call 911 rather than struggle to help her up. One or both of them could be injured due to lack of strength or ability.

Also, if a stranger rings their doorbell or calls on the phone and asks them questions about checking accounts, etc., this person should be reported.

How do I impress upon my parents the need to contact the authorities when something is amiss rather than attempt to handle it themselves? -- ART IN EASTON, PA.

DEAR ART: Trying to parent one's parents long distance can be frustrating and emotionally draining. Part of the problem may be that when people in their golden years begin to slow down, they often don't realize that it's happening.

Please impress upon your father that when your mother falls there may be a reason for it that goes beyond being "clumsy." She may have suffered a small stroke or have an inner ear imbalance and need to be seen by a doctor. Also, when older people fall they can crack a bone, and being lifted by someone other than a professional can cause further injury.

These days there are more "sharks" swimming around out there than ever, poised to take advantage of the gullible and the vulnerable. If you suspect that someone has been asking your parents for information about their personal finances, the police should be informed. Also, if you feel they need protection, then it's time to involve a social worker to help them. Your local Area Agency on Aging or state department of health can guide you.

DEAR ABBY: Many years ago I made a conscious and deliberate decision to leave the dating scene. Whenever I tell a woman I'm not interested or have made other plans, she becomes upset and angry with me. I try to be tactful and diplomatic with women, but it invariably results in acrimonious behavior toward me. I am exasperated with the situation. What's your advice? -- NICE GUY IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NICE GUY: Of course when a woman hears that you're "not interested" she will be offended. A compliment it's not! And a woman who becomes upset and angry if you say you have other plans isn't someone you would want to be involved with anyway. Next time try this: "I'm sorry, but I'm NOT AVAILABLE." It's the truth -- you're not!

DEAR ABBY: This may seem like a silly question, but what is the proper thing to do if fruit drops on the floor at the grocery store? -- WONDERING IN COLUMBUS, GA.

DEAR WONDERING: There is no such thing as a silly question. I addressed your query to the manager of a major grocery chain in the Los Angeles area. He said: "Because it is assumed that people wash their fruit at home before eating it, the fallen item should simply be placed on its stand. (Of course, if it has split in two, cracked or been crushed, you should bring it to the attention of an employee working the produce department.)"

Now: Speaking as someone who has bought fruit, taken it home and found it to be bruised when I cut into it, it's my PERSONAL opinion that instead of replacing the fruit in the display, a store employee should be informed so the item can be sold at a discount the next day.

DEAR ABBY: I have just learned that a friend's 16-year-old daughter has two different Facebook profiles. One is a "nice" profile to which she has invited me, her family and friends from her days at a Christian academy. The other, which is pretty raw, she uses with her new "wild" friends from public high school.

The first profile portrays her as the perfect student and daughter. The other includes explicit details about her sexual exploits and drinking parties. Should I keep my nose out of it or let her parents know about the dual identities? -- VIGILANT IN EVERETT, WASH.

DEAR VIGILANT: Ask yourself whether you would want to be warned about your minor child's drinking and sexual exploits or be kept in the dark, and you'll have your answer.

DEAR ABBY: My 5-year-old son, "Miles," is passive, kind and a genuinely sweet kid. He has made friends with some neighborhood kids who are his age or a few years older.

While watching them play I have noticed a few of the more aggressive boys tackle, push or kick him and -- at one point -- even punch him. Afterward I asked Miles why he didn't stick up for himself. He said he didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Obviously, I don't want my son engaging in fighting or resorting to violence. However, I am torn as to whether I should intervene. I have talked to Miles about how friends should treat each other. With that in mind, he ought to be able to say "stop" when someone gets too rough.

Should I step in to correct the other child? Should I speak to the other parents? Or do I allow my son to work it out on his own? -- HELICOPTER MOM

DEAR MOM: If you step in and "correct" the other boys, it will make your son appear weak. If you speak to their parents, it will make those boys resent your child. If Miles were my son, I would sign him up for activities where he will be part of a team. It will give him self-confidence, help to improve his athletic skills, make him more physically fit and introduce him to children in addition to this particular group.

DEAR ABBY: I was widowed a year ago and joined a support group for widows and widowers. (I am 50 years young.) Through this group I met a gentleman, "Robert," who lost his wife two years ago. We became friends and have since fallen in love. I would like to think we have a future together.

Recently, I have been feeling guilty about our relationship, as though I am "cheating" on my late husband, and I'm wondering if this is normal. Should I keep these feelings to myself or discuss them with Robert? Should I go to counseling?

Perhaps the one-year anniversary of my husband's death has brought out these feelings. I'm remembering our last days together and feeling guilty about having started a new relationship. I don't want to hurt Robert or push him away by bringing this up if this is a normal phase most widows go through. -- STARTING OVER IN VIRGINIA BEACH, VA.

DEAR STARTING OVER: If you are not completely over the death of your husband, then your feelings of guilt are understandable. When they occur, please remind yourself that you lived up to your wedding pledge "until death do you part."

Because you and Robert are part of a support group, this is a subject it might be helpful to raise with the other members. As to discussing it with Robert, I recommend that you do. Far from pushing you apart, it may bring you closer. And if your feelings of guilt persist, by all means discuss them with a counselor because you have every right to be happy.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a boy in eighth grade with a big problem. My parents constantly talk about their finances in front of me. We are not poor, but we're far from rich. It bothers me when they talk about how much money they owe or if they're in debt or not.

I have asked my parents several times not to talk about money in front of me. However, they insist that I'm old enough to hear about it. I'm a natural worrier, and when they talk about financial issues it makes me think something terrible is going to happen to us. What should I do? -- STILL A KID IN LINWOOD, N.J.

DEAR STILL A KID: One of the hardest things for many people to talk about is money -- or lack of it. And yet, not talking about it can cause more problems than airing the subject. Your parents may be trying to educate you about finances because many schools don't do it. But if it becomes too stressful for you, then leave the room.

DEAR ABBY: Although I don't think my last name is a particularly difficult one, people often struggle with it when they go to write it after I say it. I understand this and it does not bother me. As a matter of habit, I routinely spell my name immediately after I say it, to assist the person who is writing it down.

A security guard who works at a client's building I visit a few times a year has reacted in a hostile manner because I spell my name when she asks for it. She may be under the impression that I think my name is beyond her capabilities -- which isn't true.

Abby, is spelling my name condescending or disrespectful to someone in a business setting? Is my routine practice annoying or is the guard overly sensitive? -- BILL "X" IN GEORGETOWN, DEL.

DEAR BILL "X": She may be overly sensitive or, because you have already spelled your name for her several times, she may be under the impression that you think she's not very bright. Perhaps in the future you should modify your delivery: "My name is Bill 'Xybleniwicz.' I'll spell it for you if you'd like me to ..."

DEAR ABBY: For the past several years I have worked in a medical office. I see patients every three months or as little as once a year.

Two years ago, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. She passed away last spring. Because of the stress of my dear mother's illness and death, my weight has fluctuated.

Some of my patients don't hesitate to point out how "chunky" I have become. One woman even went so far as to ask if I was "happy with the way I have let myself go." Abby, how do I defend my weight gain without getting into my personal life? -- IMPATIENT WITH MY PATIENTS IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR IMPATIENT: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. I'm sure the last two years have been painful. I see no reason why, if someone is so insensitive as to mention your weight, you shouldn't let the person have the truth with both barrels. If that doesn't shame him or her into an apology, nothing will. However, because you prefer to conceal it, try this response: "You know, I gained this weight the old-fashioned way -- one bite at a time, and that's the way it'll have to come off."

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)