DEAR ABBY: I am sending along a gift suggestion for Father's Day for the dad who doesn't "need or want anything."

I recently celebrated a major birthday and my four dear adult children, all living in different parts of the country, collaborated electronically to record some of their favorite memories of their years at home -- some humorous, some touching, some surprising. These were written on tiny bits of paper, carefully folded or scrolled and packed into a small wooden box. There were 365 in all, with the expectation that I'd have one a day for a year.

I was so taken with the delight of reading them, however, that I read them all in two weeks! My heart will be warmed for a very long time. -- DEAR OLD DAD IN MAINE

DEAR DAD: What a wonderful idea -- and bless you for sharing it. Readers, listen up! It's a gift that costs little but time and thought, but is brimming with true meaning.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have done many things over the years to help out our son and daughter-in-law, "Cathy," including sending money, clothing, diapers, food and baby-sitting our grandchildren. Our son expresses appreciation for our help, but Cathy is another matter.

We send clothing for the babies, but there is no acknowledgment that it even arrived. When we take them gifts in person, without a word of thanks she asks if we have the receipts so she can return them.

Cathy will eat or drink in our presence but offer us nothing. She is insensitive, self-centered and often just plain rude. She seems to have no clue about how to be gracious. My wife is near tears at the end of every visit. It drives us nuts to be treated like this.

I am afraid our grandchildren will grow up imitating their mother's rude and disrespectful behavior. My wife does not want me to speak with our son about this because she's afraid we'll never see the grandchildren again. Can you give us some guidance as to what we should do? -- CLEVELAND READER

DEAR READER: Yes. Speak privately with your son and tell him how hurt his mother is at the treatment she has received. While it's possible that Cathy was raised having learned none of the social graces, it is disconcerting that your son would sit silently by and watch it happen. He should insist that his parents be shown more respect, and if necessary, explain and demonstrate for her exactly what that means.

DEAR ABBY: Several couples recently spent a week together on an excursion with each couple paying for their own lodging and meals. One couple complained at every meal about the cost. These meals were not overly expensive, and the couple can well afford everything they spent.

Is there a kind way to express that the rest of us were not comfortable with this behavior (often the wait staff overheard, and it was embarrassing) or should we just exclude them in the future? -- MEALTIME ADVENTURE

DEAR MEALTIME ADVENTURE: This couple may not have the money you assume they have, or they may prefer to spend it in other ways than at restaurants. Obviously, what wasn't overly expensive to you was more than they had planned on spending for their meals or they wouldn't have spoken up. Rather than telling them that it made you uncomfortable, invite another couple whose values more closely mirror your own to accompany you on future excursions.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are writing about our only daughter, "Jessica," who has been married to "Ron" for three years. Jessica recently expressed displeasure (initiated by Ron) about how close we are with Ron's parents. They feel our friendship is somehow unusual or threatening. The in-laws are aware of it and don't intend to change their relationship with us.

From the time that Jessica began dating Ron, my husband and I formed a lovely and close bond with these people. We include each other at family and holiday gatherings. We're baffled, hurt and resent being told to back off from a relationship we cherish. We can't see the logic behind it, and it has put a strain on our relationship with our daughter and son-in-law. What do you think about this, Abby? -- BAFFLED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR BAFFLED: Ron may not have as close a relationship with his parents as you do with your daughter. Perhaps they would like to see less of the in-laws. By including them at every family and holiday gathering, you may be forcing more contact than Ron and Jessica would like. So my advice is -- at least for a while -- that you continue to socialize with these people as friends but curtail some of those family activities. See "the kids" alone sometimes, and you may learn the reason they feel the way they do.

DEAR ABBY: One of my friends asks to borrow my discount card (that I pay for) every time we go shopping together. She recently asked me to let her know the next time I plan to go to a particular membership store, so she can tag along and get my discount.

Until now, I have always agreed, but it's beginning to bother me. Am I wrong to feel this way? Am I being selfish? If not, is there a tactful way to let her know how I feel? -- WISE SHOPPER, JACKSONVILLE, FLA.

DEAR WISE SHOPPER: Not knowing your friend, it's hard to determine whether she's a mooch or someone who needs a break. Because you feel your generosity is being taken advantage of, a way to handle it would be to tell her that you sometimes decide to shop at the last minute and therefore can't always include her. Another would be to "forget" to mention you're going. Of course there is a third way, and that would be to tell her how you feel -- but it's risky because while true, it's not tactful.

DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed the "pennies from heaven" stories you print from time to time. For a while I have wanted to write and tell you my story.

A few days after my mother passed away, my husband and I went to dinner at a local restaurant. We usually pay for our dinners with a credit card, but this time we decided to use cash. Our change was a few dollars and a penny.

For some reason, I decided to check the date on the penny. It was dated 1922, the year of my mother's birth. I am in my 50s and had never found such an old penny before. The 1922 penny is now among other treasures that my mother left me.

I don't believe in coincidences, Abby. I really do believe Mother had something to do with the penny we received. I consider it my "penny from heaven." -- SEATTLE READER

DEAR READER: A penny as proof of a mother's love? I wouldn't be surprised.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm working on a school project with several other girls, but I have an issue with one of them. "Sara" wanted to write the paper for our project, which is a huge part of our grade. Once she started writing it, we all realized she wasn't very good at it. I felt I could do a better job, and asked if I could do it instead -- or help critique and edit it. Sara refuses.

I don't want to start a fight or anything, but this is a large part of my grade, and the project is being entered in a contest that I really want to win. Is there a way I can get her to let me help, or should I just let it go? -- REALLY WANTS TO WIN IN OHIO

DEAR REALLY WANTS TO WIN: I'm sure your desire to win the contest is no less strong than that of your teammates. Who submits the paper should be a decision that the majority of you agree on. Discuss your concerns with them and take a vote.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently had dinner with two other couples. As soon as the meal was finished, the woman on my left turned her back to me and leaned forward so I could neither see nor converse with the person sitting to her left. She remained like that for the duration of the dinner party.

Our friends say she wasn't angry or upset with me. She has done the same thing in other group gatherings, always with the same friend over whom she "hovers." She will whisper to this friend and exclude everyone else.

I honestly don't think she is aware of how rude she is being. Any idea how I might approach her without hurting her feelings? -- BLOCKED AT THE PARTY

DEAR BLOCKED: The next time it happens, speak up and say, "Excuse me, but I'm isolated over here! Would you mind if I change places with your friend, so I can participate in a conversation while you two talk?" And in the future, because this happens regularly, their preference for talking only to each other should be taken into consideration when the seating is arranged.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old woman. Three weeks ago, I found out that my boyfriend of five months, "Louie," and I are going to have a baby. This was not planned, and not a happy revelation.

Louie and I are beginning to cope, and friends are really helping. My parents, however, are not. They are pushing me to marry Louie before the baby comes. I explained that I don't want that stigma and that I would like to have a big wedding later, perhaps in 2012.

My parents disagree and want nothing to do with a big wedding down the road since I won't marry Louie now. This will be their first grandchild, and they are ruining the experience by stressing me out. By the way, because of financial hardship, I currently live at home with them. What should I do? -- MAMA-TO-BE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MAMA-TO-BE: At 27 you are an adult, and presumably able to make important decisions for yourself. Do not allow yourself to be rushed into a loveless marriage that could lead to more children and a subsequent divorce. If you and Louie are still together in 2012, you can have the wedding of your dreams then. But please be aware that your parents are under no obligation to pay for it.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)