DEAR ABBY: I am an 18-year-old high school senior who will be leaving for college soon. My boyfriend, also a senior, will be leaving, too. We have been going out for the past two years and trust each other completely. We attended different schools, so we are both fairly adapted to a "long-distance relationship."

The problem is I will be going to college in Florida while he will be staying in Michigan. Neither of us wants to break up, but we understand the enormous changes that will be taking place soon. I don't want to force any unnecessary stress upon him, and I know he feels the same. What are the chances of a long-distance relationship like this working out? Do you have any tips for maintaining it? -- COLLEGE-BOUND

DEAR COLLEGE-BOUND: You are right that significant changes will take place after you and your boyfriend leave for college. You will both grow in different directions, which is a good thing and is to be expected. It will either enrich your relationship or end it. But if you have a strong friendship, are honest with each other and aren't afraid of letting each other enjoy some freedom, your chances are stronger of having a relationship that is long-lasting. It may seem counterintuitive, but it's true.

DEAR ABBY: In the past your column has been supportive of Overeaters Anonymous, a 12-step program for those suffering from compulsive eating. This year is the 50th birthday of OA. We want to remind people that they are not alone.

I have been a grateful recovery member of OA for eight years. Food is no longer my reason for living. I have been transformed by the program, both externally and internally. I want people to know there is help. Just as all heavy drinkers are not necessarily alcoholics, neither are all overeaters food addicts. But for those who are -- and there are thousands -- OA is the answer. -- JANET IN TUCSON

DEAR JANET: My warmest congratulations to you, your fellow OA members and to Overeaters Anonymous on its golden anniversary year. When my mother first mentioned Overeaters Anonymous in this column in 1973, I am told the organization was inundated with 40,000 letters from readers wanting to know more or to start chapters. Today OA has grown to more than 6,500 chapters located in more than 75 countries. There is no shaming, no weighing, and no dues or fees are charged at the meetings. Chapters are located in almost every city, but if there's a problem in finding one, log onto � HYPERLINK "http://www.oa.org" ��www.oa.org� or send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to OA World Service Office, P.O. Box 44020, Rio Rancho, N.M. 87174-4020.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of friends like the "Joneses," who tell us about all the different people they have had over for dinner and what was served, but have never invited us to share a meal even though we have had them to our house for dinner on more than one occasion? -- STIFFED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR STIFFED: The people you have described are not acting like "friends." What they're doing shows extreme disregard for your feelings. When someone accepts an invitation to dinner in your home, anyone with good manners expects to reciprocate the hospitality in some way. If I were you, I would distance myself from the "Joneses." You'll have less hurt feelings and frustration if you do.

DEAR ABBY: The other day my wife of 45 years was cleaning our bathroom and I popped in to ask her a question. I saw her remove my denture brush from the cup and begin cleaning the cracks and crevices of the bathroom with it.

When she realized I was watching her, she said, "Oops, busted! Oh, well, it's not like you put it in your mouth." She also admitted it wasn't the first time. Do you think I should be concerned? -- BRUSHED OFF IN WISCONSIN

DEAR BRUSHED OFF: You absolutely should be concerned. Although the denture brush doesn't go into your mouth, it does have contact with the appliances that do. Your wife's behavior could be a sign of ignorance or bad judgment, but it could also be a sign of senility. This should be reported to your doctor, who should explain to your wife how ill-advised this practice is -- or give her a diagnosis.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, after much searching, I found the love of my life, "Laura," and we were married. Most of our time together is harmonious; the remainder is volatile.

Laura is insanely jealous of practically everything I do. The most recent episode was over a junk e-mail she had seen in my inbox. She asked me about it as we were going to bed, and I told her I had no idea what it was. The next day she asked me to look for it. I did, but I couldn't find it. Laura then accused me of hiding and deleting it. Well, I always delete the "spam" e-mail I receive.

Laura had a horrible first marriage and was wronged in the divorce. She keeps telling me it isn't the reason for her suspicions, but it's hard to believe that doesn't play a part. These arguments are horrible and are causing trouble in our marriage. I am open and honest with her, and I truly want to be with her for the rest of my life. But her doubts, fears and mistrust are driving me crazy. What do I do? -- UNDER CONSTANT ATTACK IN TEMPE, ARIZ.

DEAR UNDER ATTACK: If you want your marriage to survive, tell Laura that although you love her, you will no longer tolerate her inability to trust you and the volatile scenes her insecurity has caused.

Whatever is driving her paranoia, she needs to work it through with a licensed mental health professional. Because she may be resistant to the idea, start by insisting you both see a marriage counselor. That person can be an ally in guiding her into the counseling she seriously needs. I wish you luck, because I suspect her issues go back farther than her first marriage.

DEAR ABBY: With the push in stores to buy their reusable shopping bags, I was wondering what the rule is about bringing bags from different stores. Is it rude if I use bags I purchased from somewhere else? -- SHOPPING GREEN IN BLOOMFIELD, N.M.

DEAR SHOPPING GREEN: Not at all. Stores are in the business of selling merchandise, and if they can bring in money and at the same time promote their brand by selling bags with their logo, that's a double bang for their buck. But please don't feel obligated to use store-brand shopping bags in every establishment you patronize -- or you'll wind up owning more than you can reasonably use. And that's not budget-wise or "green" either.

DEAR ABBY: I am 13 and have been home-schooled for a few years, but I hate it.

My parents recently got a divorce after many years of trying to. Although I was used to the idea of their divorce, I cried when it happened. Mom asked me what was wrong and I told her. Her reply was, "Oh, grow up. You're 13, not 5!" It showed me she doesn't care about my feelings.

I don't know why, but sometimes I think I'm the reason behind my parents' split. Also, I have no idea how to tell Mom I want to go to high school next year. I feel like my life is falling apart. What do I do? -- TENNESSEE TEEN IN TURMOIL

DEAR TENNESSEE TEEN: Regardless of how old a person is, when parents divorce it can be shocking -- even if you saw it coming. It's normal to be sad about it, but don't make your burden harder to bear by feeling in any way guilty about the split.

Children are seldom, if ever, the cause -- or even a factor -- in a divorce or separation. The circumstances that led your parents to separate are far more complex than they may appear on the surface. Your parents have probably been deeply hurt by each other. Rarely is one party entirely to blame. Do not feel sorry for yourself or ashamed. Divorce happens in the best of families.

Your mother's reaction to your tears was regrettable. It may have been she felt defensive. Divorce can be an emotional roller coaster -- so be prepared for her to have mood swings and don't personalize it. (She may be having a bad day.)

As to your attending high school rather than being home-schooled --- a way to approach a discussion would be to tell your mother you would like to try it for "a while." She may be more receptive than you think, because she may need to get a job or return to school to prepare for one.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 22-year-old college student. My boyfriend, "Jay," and I have been together four years and plan to become engaged after school. The problem is, I have never told him my mom is a lesbian. She dresses like a man and wears her hair very short. I have always accepted her for who she is -- or at least I thought so.

I have told Jay lies about my mom and dad being together when, in fact, they are not. My dad is deceased, and Mom has a girlfriend. I will graduate soon and Jay will be there. So will Mom and her girlfriend.

I feel like I am losing my mind the closer that graduation comes. Jay is a wonderful person, but sometimes he can be judgmental. I have wanted to tell him the truth many times, but I'm afraid of what he will think of me or have second thoughts about our relationship. I can't seem to find the words to tell him even when I try. Please help. -- KEEPING A SECRET IN HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS

DEAR KEEPING A SECRET: Here are the words: "Jay, there is something I need to tell you -- something I haven't been completely honest about." Then tell him everything and do it before graduation, so he will have time to forgive you for not trusting him and being truthful about your background. He will probably be more upset about the deception than any impression your mother could make. If Jay loves you, the two of you will get past this. But if he's not up to it, then your relationship wasn't meant to be, and you'll have to accept it.