DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old registered nurse who has never been married. Recently I bought a home, and soon after, an old boyfriend, "Gary," started coming around. I was happy about it at first, but he's been staying here at my place for two months now and hasn't paid any rent.
Gary buys his own beer and has brought home a few grocery items from time to time, but nothing to speak of. He had the electricity turned off at his place so his expenses are minimal. He also brought along his cat, but never cleans out her litter box.
He does no housework and comes and goes as he pleases. I do not want him sharing my home without contributing anything. Is there a way to tell him without wrecking our relationship? -- CANADIAN JOAN
DEAR JOAN: It appears that not only is the heat off at Gary's house, the temperature at yours is cooling fast. Tell him that if he can't help you with the rent, household chores, groceries and the litter box, it's time to turn up the heat at his place. And please don't feel guilty about it. It's called being assertive.