DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Kent," and I enjoy entertaining. We often throw birthday parties for friends, as well as holiday parties and dinners and barbecues during the summer. The problem is, whenever we receive an invitation to attend a gathering at someone else's home, Kent responds with, "Ask them to come here." I think this is rude because our friends are just reciprocating.
This issue came up twice last week. When I asked Kent why he doesn't like to go to our friends' homes, he says he prefers to entertain in his own house. I don't think it is good manners to ask a host to move the party to our home.
Incidentally, when we do go, Kent always enjoys himself, so it's not social anxiety, and he's definitely not shy. Would you tell me if I'm making too much of this? -- EMBARRASSED IN ALASKA
DEAR EMBARRASSED: I don't think so. While your husband's impulse to host the party might seem generous the first few times the offer is extended -- after a while the burden of gratitude can hang heavy and destroy friendships. That's why it is important for people to be able to reciprocate -- and for others to allow them to.