DEAR ABBY: Our oldest daughter is being married soon. When we pulled out our wedding album to show her our pictures, my mother-in-law, "Edith," started laughing and said she hoped our daughter's wedding would be better than ours was. Then she said our wedding had been "an embarrassment," and she wished she hadn't invited any of her friends to it!
Abby, her son and I have been married more than 25 years. This was the first time Edith has ever mentioned my "awful" wedding. My father-in-law tried to shut her up, but she went on and on about how she should have stepped in and "helped."
My husband and I think his mother should apologize, but she says we are being "too sensitive." My daughter is upset about it too.
We want Edith to be a part of our daughter's wedding and festivities, but what kind of role should I allow her to have? I'm still angry and very, very hurt. -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN MISSISSIPPI
DEAR MOTHER OF THE BRIDE: Could your mother-in-law have had one too many when she came out with her insensitive and rude revelation? Face it, had she truly wanted to "help," it would have been as simple as her volunteering to do so.
While an apology should be forthcoming, don't expect one. In labeling you "too sensitive," Edith was blaming the person whose face she had slapped for reacting.
While your wish to have her be a part of your daughter's wedding is laudable, the role I strongly recommend she play would be a nonspeaking one such as providing "something old, something new, something borrowed or something blue." PERIOD.