DEAR ABBY: I wrote you in October and received your personal reply. I'm the girl whose dad was murdered, and I was looking for a support group. You referred me to the National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children, which provides mutual support to persons who have survived the violent death of someone close (www.pomc.org).

I have a little "upper" for you now. We all know about the letters you have printed about Pennies from Heaven, but I don't know if there ever has been one like this.

My dad always wore a gold cross around his neck. He never, ever took it off, so naturally I asked the funeral director to have him shown in it but asked that it be removed before the burial.

Well, lo and behold, it was nowhere to be found. So we called everywhere we could think of to locate it and ended up thinking that somewhere along the way from his being killed, taken to the ER, to autopsy, to the funeral home, it had been lost forever.

A few days before Christmas, we found it! It was in a box of pennies my dad had collected. He must have taken it off before he left that night because he had been seen in it earlier that day.

We all believe in miracles, and this is my very own Christmas miracle. Thank you, Abby, for everything you do for so many of us who are suffering. I love you. -- SARAH

DEAR SARAH: Thank you for your kind letter. It touched my heart as I know it will the hearts of my readers. I don't know when your father removed his cross, but take comfort in knowing he left it to bring you solace, and I hope that it serves its purpose. I love you, too.

DEAR ABBY: I have a great job working with people I enjoy, and probably the coolest boss in the world. There is just one little problem. He keeps asking me to go out with his daughter.

She is a wonderful person, smart and absolutely beautiful -- but she is also recently divorced. I'm afraid I would just be the "in-between" guy for her -- a stepping-stone to her recovery. In other words, whatever happens would be at my expense.

How can I politely tell my boss that I cannot date his daughter? -- REALIST IN UTAH

DEAR REALIST: Tell him you are flattered, that you think his daughter is smart and absolutely beautiful and a wonderful person. Then tell him you know how painful a divorce can be and you would prefer to wait until she is emotionally back on her feet and has gotten her bearings before inviting her out.

Do not completely reject the idea because in six months or a year, if she is still available, you may change your mind.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a dispute with my husband. He thinks that you screw in a lightbulb clockwise. I disagree. I say counter-clockwise. Which of us is correct? -- ERIKA IN PELHAM, ALA.

DEAR ERIKA: He is. You screw in a lightbulb by turning it to the right, the same way you tighten the lid on a jar -- which is clockwise. The mnemonic for this is: "Right is tight; left is loose."

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a dispute with my husband. He thinks that you screw in a lightbulb clockwise. I disagree. I say counter-clockwise. Which of us is correct? -- ERIKA IN PELHAM, ALA.

DEAR ERIKA: He is. You screw in a lightbulb by turning it to the right, the same way you tighten the lid on a jar -- which is clockwise. The mnemonic for this is: "Right is tight; left is loose."

DEAR ABBY: "Happy Being Me in Massachusetts" (Nov. 20) is a large girl whose mother told her "heavy women are not desirable." Well, I was a size 18/20 and weighed more than 200 pounds when I met my husband while out with mutual friends. He's good-looking, smart, witty, affectionate and passionate. He's everything a woman looks for in a life partner.

He had never dated a plus-size woman before, but he was smitten from the moment he saw me, and pursued me from the start because he thought I have a beautiful face and a great personality. We have one child and another on the way, and he finds me as appealing now as he did the night we met.

No woman should ever "settle" for a partner, and "Happy" should not do so just because her mother thinks she's "too heavy." That mother is trying to pass her low self-esteem issues along to her daughter, and I hope "Happy" is savvy enough to brush it off. Big girls can be sexy, too, because there's nothing sexier than confidence. -- MICHELLE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MICHELLE: The letters of encouragement in support of "Happy" have far outweighed her mother's negative stance. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: "Happy Being Me" needs to know that there are men like me who prefer plus-size women. My wife weighs 275 pounds, and I think she's gorgeous. "Happy" just needs to put herself out there, and one of us will find her. -- HAPPY WITH MY LARGE LADY

DEAR ABBY: I met my first husband when I wore a much smaller size. As the years went on, my size increased. He ended up leaving me for a smaller girl.

After our split, I moved home and the first words out of my mother's mouth were, "You need to work on yourself because you're not going to find someone new looking like you do." It was extremely hurtful, but beyond that, it was WRONG.

Less than a year after my divorce, I was in a healthy relationship with a man who loved me for myself. We married, have a baby and are living happily ever after. The size of my jeans has never mattered to my hubby -- only the size of my heart. -- BIG JEANS, BIGGER HEART

DEAR ABBY: In the past, I admit I was one of those men who wouldn't look twice at a large girl. Then I met my wife. She wasn't exactly petite, but it didn't matter. She truly is the girl of my dreams.

We have both gained some weight over the years, but size really doesn't matter. "Happy's" mother is wrong. The right woman can always find the right man. -- LUCKY MAN IN ALBUQUERQUE

DEAR ABBY: I attend dances every month that support women of size. I met my dream man at one of them a few months ago. He is kind, supportive, handsome and loves my body. (And I love his!)

Because society says that a larger woman isn't attractive doesn't mean EVERYONE thinks so. When I started going to functions for plus-sized women at the age of 26, I found a whole new world where I was accepted and welcomed.

"Happy" should get on to her Web browser and look for "Big Beautiful Women" groups in her area. Love is out there -- for ALL body types. -- LARGE AND IN LOVE

DEAR ABBY: My mother, who is big, wonderful and loving, made me appreciate large women. My wife was small in high school and "blossomed" later. I love my "big gal wife" and support her in every way possible. If she wants to change her appearance, then I want her to do it for herself. And if she's happy the way she is, I'm OK with that, too. "Happy Being Me" just needs to be confident in her own skin and she will find "Mr. Right," not "Mr. Right Now." -- BRIAN IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: I have always been a curious and motivated person. Because of it, I pursued higher education and became a college professor. Most of my siblings have also gone to college. However, their significant others have varying levels of education.

I like to think of myself as a nice person, but my siblings have let me know that when I converse with their partners, I often come across as patronizing. Do these partners need to be less sensitive, or do I need to be more so? -- THE GOOD PROFESSOR

DEAR PROF: If only one of your siblings had told you that you often come across as patronizing, I'd say his or her partner might be overly sensitive. However, because more than one has said it, it's time for a self-check. Book smarts are an undeniable asset, but sensitivity to others can be even more important. If you talk down to people, no matter how "smart" you are, eventually they will run away from you.

Do you feel compelled to "correct" those whom you know to have less education than you? Do you speak in polysyllables when a few simple words will do? If the answers to these questions are affirmative, you need to be more socially sensitive when you're with your family -- and possibly when you're in the classroom as well.

DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced when my older brother and I were small. Mom remarried, and I was adopted by the wonderful man who raised me as his beloved daughter. I had limited contact with my biological father, "Nate," which seemed to please everyone.

After my adopted dad passed, Nate came back into my life. I have not seen much of him but he was present at my second marriage five years ago, traveling across country to be there.

Last month he called to tell me he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and has named me as his heir since my older brother is deceased.

As a birthday gift, I presented him with a box from a company that does genome sequencing. It allows people to see their DNA and learn about their ancestry as well as any health-related issues. I enjoyed learning about genetics and thought Nate would, too.

Imagine how stunned I was when I learned that Nate is NOT my father. The company has assured me there is little chance the test is wrong, and they are certain we are not related.

I am close to my mother and horrified that she kept this secret from me for more than 50 years. I don't want anyone to be hurt, but I need the truth. What do I do? -- QUESTIONING MY DNA IN S.F.

DEAR QUESTIONING: Have a calm, private conversation with your mother and tell her what you have learned. If she denies it, have the test repeated. When you receive the results, either apologize to your mother or raise the subject again. She may know who your father was, or you may have been the result of an opening shot in the sexual revolution, a chapter your mother may not care to revisit.