DEAR ABBY: I have always been a curious and motivated person. Because of it, I pursued higher education and became a college professor. Most of my siblings have also gone to college. However, their significant others have varying levels of education.

I like to think of myself as a nice person, but my siblings have let me know that when I converse with their partners, I often come across as patronizing. Do these partners need to be less sensitive, or do I need to be more so? -- THE GOOD PROFESSOR

DEAR PROF: If only one of your siblings had told you that you often come across as patronizing, I'd say his or her partner might be overly sensitive. However, because more than one has said it, it's time for a self-check. Book smarts are an undeniable asset, but sensitivity to others can be even more important. If you talk down to people, no matter how "smart" you are, eventually they will run away from you.

Do you feel compelled to "correct" those whom you know to have less education than you? Do you speak in polysyllables when a few simple words will do? If the answers to these questions are affirmative, you need to be more socially sensitive when you're with your family -- and possibly when you're in the classroom as well.

DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced when my older brother and I were small. Mom remarried, and I was adopted by the wonderful man who raised me as his beloved daughter. I had limited contact with my biological father, "Nate," which seemed to please everyone.

After my adopted dad passed, Nate came back into my life. I have not seen much of him but he was present at my second marriage five years ago, traveling across country to be there.

Last month he called to tell me he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and has named me as his heir since my older brother is deceased.

As a birthday gift, I presented him with a box from a company that does genome sequencing. It allows people to see their DNA and learn about their ancestry as well as any health-related issues. I enjoyed learning about genetics and thought Nate would, too.

Imagine how stunned I was when I learned that Nate is NOT my father. The company has assured me there is little chance the test is wrong, and they are certain we are not related.

I am close to my mother and horrified that she kept this secret from me for more than 50 years. I don't want anyone to be hurt, but I need the truth. What do I do? -- QUESTIONING MY DNA IN S.F.

DEAR QUESTIONING: Have a calm, private conversation with your mother and tell her what you have learned. If she denies it, have the test repeated. When you receive the results, either apologize to your mother or raise the subject again. She may know who your father was, or you may have been the result of an opening shot in the sexual revolution, a chapter your mother may not care to revisit.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I rent my own apartment and my family lives an hour's drive away. My boyfriend of one year, "Mac," lives about 10 minutes from me and spends the night a few times a week and vice-versa.

I got the flu last month and it developed into bronchitis. I was so sick I could barely drag myself out of bed. I asked Mac to come over and take care of me and he said, "No, I don't want to get sick. I'll come by when you're better."

Abby, if someone cares about you, don't you think he should help out -- maybe make some soup, give you water at your bedside and just be there in general? If Mac got sick like that, I would go over and take care of him. But he wasn't willing to do the same. He said he doesn't feel it is "his job."

I am upset by this. Is it an indication of how he would be if we got married? -- IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH

DEAR IN SICKNESS: Yup. It appears Mac isn't the nurturing kind. However, if he has everything else you're looking for in a man, this needn't be a deal breaker. Instead of expecting him to intuit what you need, try telling him what you want. Example: "Send some soup over." "Please empty the trash." "Call an ambulance." You get the idea. If that doesn't do the trick, then scratch Mac.

DEAR ABBY: One of my bosses insists on using his speakerphone for conversations -- business and personal -- with his office door wide open. He speaks loudly, and both sides of the conversation can be clearly heard throughout the office. He also walks through the hallways with his cell on speakerphone.

Everyone who works here finds his behavior annoying and boorish. No one says anything, and he doesn't get the message when a chorus of doors slam shut each time he begins one of these calls or walks by with his cell phone blasting. Any ideas on how to address this issue? -- UNWILLING THIRD PARTY IN THE NORTHWEST

DEAR UNWILLING: Is no one, including your boss's assistant, close enough to him to tell him that his loud phone conversations are distracting his employees and colleagues and offer to shut his door for him so he can have privacy? Most employers would prefer their workers and colleagues operate at maximum capacity, particularly in this economy.

DEAR ABBY: Please settle a dispute between my wife and me. One of her co-workers, "Cassie," is eight months pregnant and also overweight. My wife saw her and said, "Wow, you've gotten as big as a house!"

Cassie told her she was hurt by the comment. In my wife's opinion, what she said is not uncommon when said to a pregnant woman and she thinks Cassie was overly sensitive. I believe the comment was inappropriate. What do you think? -- NEEDS A MEDIATOR, GAINESVILLE, FLA.

DEAR NEEDS A MEDIATOR: I agree with you. No one -- pregnant or not -- wants to be told she resembles an orca, and your wife should have kept her observation to herself.

DEAR ABBY: I have been working at my current job for a couple of years. One of my co-workers, who is in another department and who I see a couple of times a week, calls me "Sue." My name is "Joyce."

He has been doing this for some time and I don't know how to correct him without embarrassing him. Any suggestions? -- POLITE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR POLITE: Try this. Tell him you have changed your name to Joyce -- that others are now using it and you'd appreciate it if he would, too. If he asks you the reason for the name change, say it's because all your life you have felt more like a Joyce than a Sue. (It's true.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating this guy, "Omar," for eight months. He is considerate, compassionate, affectionate, intelligent and worldly. He's a good father and has a great sense of humor. Omar is any woman's dream, but I am not physically attracted to him. There's no chemistry, no electricity -- zilch!

I have tried to persevere, hoping my feelings would change. I feel like the woman who says she wants a good guy until she finds one.

I have struggled with why I don't have feelings for Omar. He adores me, but all I feel toward him is friendship. I have tried forcing myself, but at my age I want someone who is sexy, someone I can fall passionately in love with. Omar and I have wonderful times together, but I'm not receptive to his advances.

Should I keep trying, hoping things will change? Is 53 too old to still feel "gaga" over someone? -- SEARCHING FOR MORE IN PHILADELPHIA

DEAR SEARCHING: Heck no! And I say that from personal experience.

Now, ask yourself how you would feel if you discovered that Omar wasn't really the person he has presented himself to be. Well, that's how this man will feel if you continue "faking it." Please stop giving him false hope where there isn't any. Level with him. He's the ideal man for someone else, and your Mr. Right may be just around the corner.

DEAR ABBY: My father-in-law is 92. He has led an accomplished and rewarding life. He is also a careful man, concerned about posterity and he has written his own eulogy.

When he passes, I plan to offer some warm and loving remarks. Because he has already written his eulogy, would it be in poor taste to send him my remarks now to let him know how I feel about him? -- LOVING SON-IN-LAW IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LOVING S-I-L: Not at all. When you do, send him a cover note saying, "I know you have written your eulogy, but I thought you might be interested to read what someone else has to say on the subject when that sad time comes. After all, the time to offer a compliment is when the recipient is around to enjoy it. Love, ..."

P.S. Don't be surprised if he sends it back with some suggested edits.

DEAR READERS: Today marks the birthday of civil rights martyr the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. Sadly, he didn't live to see our first African-American president elected -- but I'm sure he's smiling. -- ABBY