DEAR ABBY: Shortly after college and a bad breakup, I met someone I thought was a "nice" guy. I allowed him to take sexually explicit photos of me. I realize now that I did it because I had very low self-esteem back then.

The moment he snapped the pictures I regretted it and asked for them back. He refused, and even tried to extort money from me with threats of sending copies to my workplace. I was working for a Fortune 500 company at the time and was scared to death. Fortunately, he didn't follow through on his threat.

Fast forward 20 years: I am now a stay-at-home mom with a wonderful husband and two young children. I still think about the mistakes I made all those years ago, and I had a dream recently about this particular situation. I'm not worried about my husband finding out because I told him about this before we were married. However, I do wonder what happened to the pictures. With today's technology, they could be anywhere now.

Who we are today is not necessarily who we are going to be tomorrow. Abby, please warn young girls and boys to THINK before doing something that can possibly follow them through a lifetime. -- NAMELESS IN GEORGIA

DEAR NAMELESS: Amen! But your letter is a more effective warning than any sermon that could come from me. Not only is it a fact that the photos and statements we post on the Internet are there for eternity, but the "sexts," texts, videos and blogs of yesteryear can haunt us like tattered vagrant ghosts instead of staying buried. One need only recall the embarrassment of certain celebrities -- who should have known better -- whose names and images have been blasted across the media and learn from their mistakes.

DEAR ABBY: My wife had a series of affairs during our 25 years of marriage. I loved her, so I tried to ignore what was happening for the sake of our three children. When she left me for her boss, divorce was my only option.

The years have passed and I am remarried to a wonderful woman. We are happy together and life is good.

Abby, what should my role be in building a bridge between my children and their mother? Our oldest son hasn't spoken to her in seven years. The middle child, our daughter, has accepted her mother's husband. Our younger son blocks his mother's calls and e-mails.

The kids are in their 20s and live on their own. The hurt is still there from her betrayal, cheating and lies, but I worry about my kids and their relationship with their mother. Is it my responsibility to intercede on her behalf? -- DISTRESSED DAD IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DISTRESSED DAD: No. In fact, you should stay out of it.

DEAR ABBY: I just started counseling for postpartum depression. My husband keeps asking me what we talked about. During the counseling sessions I discuss all aspects of my life -- including my husband. How can I let him know that what I discuss with my therapist is none of his business? -- NEW MAMA IN ARIZONA

DEAR NEW MAMA: Your husband's curiosity is natural, particularly if he has never had any counseling. My advice is to tell him that during the sessions, you and your therapist talk about your feelings. Then invite him to a session and let him listen. Unless he is one of the causes of your depression, he'll probably be bored.

DEAR ABBY: My mom has recently retired and is spending a lot of time at our home. She's constantly doing things -- emptying the washer, drying dishes. Anything that is untouched for a few minutes she'll get into. She also reorganizes our drawers and cabinets and thinks her way is best.

She even remakes the children's beds, which is part of their chores. She feels a bed needs to "air" for an hour after its occupant wakes up. When I tell her she doesn't need to do it, she says she doesn't mind -- but she's missing the point.

Mom is hurt because she feels I don't appreciate her, and I am hurt that she doesn't respect my rules. I'm grateful for everything she does, but I would like her to visit with her grandchildren and enjoy her retirement while she's at our home. What should I do? -- FRUSTRATED IN AUDUBON, PA.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: The problem isn't that your mother doesn't respect your rules. I suspect it's that she has worked all her life and isn't used to being idle. She may also feel so at home in your house that she automatically behaves as though she were in hers.

Have a chat with her and try to reach a compromise. Your drawers and cabinets should be off limits, and the children should be permitted to fulfill their chores. But if emptying the washer and drying the dishes makes her happy, let her do it and thank her for her efforts.

Your mother appears to be full of energy and have a lot of time on her hands. So why not encourage her to volunteer some of it at her church, a thrift store or a charity of her choosing? It will help her develop outside interests, meet new people and form some new friendships -- all of which will allow her less time to be "helping" you.

DEAR ABBY: My father died last year. Shortly after his funeral I sold his car to a friend in need for $200. Her husband let it slip a couple of days ago that they had discovered a cane tucked beneath the front seat with more than $300 stuffed inside. The bills had rotted, but they were able to take them to the bank and exchange them for new ones. They have spent the money.

I am torn. Shouldn't they have told me and perhaps offered to split that money? Or, since they bought the car, were all of its contents theirs? They got the car AND made $100 on the deal. -- FUMING IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR FUMING: You call these people friends? This isn't a matter of what would be right under the law. If they were true friends, they would have told you they had found the cane, in case it had sentimental value -- and offered you the contents as well.

DEAR ABBY: When someone I'm talking to starts to cry in front of me, I never know what to do. I often feel helpless. Should I hug the person? I usually end up just sitting there waiting for them to collect themselves. How can I comfort someone like this? -- FEELING HELPLESS IN FLORIDA

DEAR FEELING HELPLESS: Unless you know someone well, I do not recommend hugging. However, if there's a tissue available, it would be a kindness to hand it over and tell the person you're sorry he or she is hurting and if he or she needs to talk, you're willing to listen.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 40-year-old single mom who shares a close relationship with my 12-year-old son, "Troy." I earn a decent living, but I can't afford extravagances like yearly vacations.

My mother and sister are considerably better off financially than I am. They constantly suggest great ideas for vacations -- theme parks, cruises or skydiving -- in front of Troy. I always feel terrible when I must explain to him that we just can't afford it.

I provide for my son and he doesn't want for much, but when Mom and Sis bring these things up, I feel like such a failure. How can I handle this without feeling like the bad guy? -- MOM ON A TIGHT BUDGET

DEAR MOM: Your mother and sister may not fully realize your financial situation, so here's how to handle it: Have a private chat with them and TELL them that what they are suggesting is not within your budget. Then ask them to please stop doing it in front of Troy because it is hurtful to him and embarrassing to you.

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for regularly advising counseling for readers who are dealing with emotional issues. Your message is heard in mainstream America and has an impact on those who are willing to hear it.

I grew up in a small town. My mother's family was of Irish-German descent; Dad's parents came from Czechoslovakia. Mom's family showed its love by teasing, criticizing and ridiculing.

I never saw my parents show any affection toward each other or to us, although we knew we were loved. They gave us a stable, comfortable home, a solid basic education, a strong work ethic and moral values.

Counseling was only for "crazy" people, and confiding anything to Mom set us up for becoming the topic of conversation with extended family. Nothing was confidential.

When I became an adult, I desperately needed to work with a therapist because I had strong negative feelings, depression and communication issues. Abby, one reason I was brave enough to seek counseling was because I had read your consistent advice to seemingly "normal" people to see a counselor. Another factor was being 300 miles away from my hometown.

Counseling was a godsend for me. It saved my life, and I recommend it freely to friends who need help. A wise professor said: "Everyone can benefit from counseling, and it's the person who says 'not me' who probably needs it the most."

My sister and brothers never left our small town. They are afflicted with the same issues I dealt with. One brother committed suicide at 41, and my mother lives in an isolated world full of physical and emotional pain.

Talking to a mental health professional when life feels overwhelming can make the difference between life and death. I'm grateful I had the opportunity, and comforted knowing it's an available resource if I need more. Thank you again, Abby, for making a difference in my world. -- LAUREN IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LAUREN: You're welcome. I have received occasional criticism for telling readers to discuss their problems with a licensed therapist. But when I hear from someone whose problem is so serious (or complicated) that it can't be adequately dealt with in a letter or a newspaper, advising the writer to seek counseling is the most direct and honest advice I can offer.

Thank you for letting me know my advice made a positive difference and that you're doing well. It's the most meaningful reward any adviser can receive.