DEAR ABBY: On a Sunday afternoon in late September, I got hopelessly lost trying to find O'Hare Airport in Chicago. I pulled off the interstate at a neighborhood exit and asked a man parked at the curb for directions. He was Hispanic, and there was a bit of a language barrier, but he and his sister offered to lead me there.

When we neared Midway Airport, I realized the mistake that had happened. They again offered to lead me to O'Hare -- which is a considerable distance from Midway.

We traveled through stop-and-go traffic, took shortcuts through local neighborhoods with parades, demonstrations and traffic cops, and became temporarily separated when other vehicles darted between me and my rescuers. I worried that the needle on my gas gauge would drop, which would mean having to gas up again at my destination -- if I ever reached it.

They got me to O'Hare and I turned in my car before the needle dipped. I could only wave my gratitude as I turned off. I hope my navigators understood.

They were in their late 30s/early 40s and driving a small red pickup with an open bed. I never got their names, but hope they'll recognize themselves if you print this. They were wonderfully helpful and kind to a stranger in trouble, and I am grateful. -- LADY IN THE RED HYUNDAI WITH N.Y. PLATES

DEAR LADY: I hope your "dos Buenos Samaritanos" see your letter and know that they are still in your thoughts. An act of kindness is a powerful thing; the "ripples" it creates move ever outward. So now it's your turn -- pass it on.

DEAR ABBY: My parents are chronic overspenders. The illusion of material wealth is all they care about. Over the past 10 years they have filed for bankruptcy twice, lost two homes, had three cars repossessed and been through credit counseling twice.

My two siblings and I have tried to help, but all it did was enable them to continue acting irresponsibly. The money we have "lent" them is into five figures. Once we lent them money so their car wouldn't be repossessed, but they used it to buy new furniture.

Mom and Dad are now unemployed, and none of us is able to bail them out again. Last year, we asked them to forgo any holiday gifts. All we wanted was a family dinner and for them to use their money on bills and necessities. They didn't listen and bought us extravagant gifts anyway, only to hit us up later for money to pay the bills! We returned the gifts and gave the money back to them.

How do we impress upon our parents that we don't want any gifts this year? We're ready to cancel celebrating Christmas with them. I know they'll be hurt, but what else can we do? -- HATES THE HOLIDAYS IN OHIO

DEAR HATES THE HOLIDAYS: Your parents have a serious problem, and if you care about their welfare -- as you and your siblings obviously do -- I recommend that all of you start family counseling immediately. It may take a mediator to help your parents realize that their behavior is out of control and that someone else should be managing their finances.

You cannot and should not be expected to fix their money problems, which I suspect are the result of other underlying issues. Your doctor or state psychological association can refer you to someone who is licensed and qualified.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old boy. I went to a party last weekend and some people pressured me to do some uncomfortable stuff. Can you advise me -- and other teens -- how to handle peer pressure? -- ASHAMED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ASHAMED: I'll try. Please remember that it takes a strong and confident person not to follow the crowd and stick to your own convictions -- especially when you want to fit in. But it is those who value their self-respect more than "mob" respect, who care about their reputations (and their records) who summon up the courage to say, "Thanks, but I'll pass," when enticed into doing things that are senseless, dangerous, illegal or immoral. It takes character to go it alone rather than follow the crowd, to listen to your conscience and act in your own best interests -- but it pays off big time, especially when you see the price others pay for going astray.

DEAR ABBY: I am getting ready to meet my gentleman's ex-wife. They were married for 17 years. His adult children all know and like me.

Any suggestions on breaking the ice and points of conversation with this woman? -- LOIS IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LOIS: Only this: Keep your sense of humor when you discuss what you have in common.

DEAR ABBY: I am getting ready to meet my gentleman's ex-wife. They were married for 17 years. His adult children all know and like me.

Any suggestions on breaking the ice and points of conversation with this woman? -- LOIS IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LOIS: Only this: Keep your sense of humor when you discuss what you have in common.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married three years. We married later in life. I was divorced, and she had been a widow for eight years.

The problem we're having is she continues to want to spend the holidays with her deceased husband's family. They are nice people, but I feel uncomfortable with it. We have talked about starting our own traditions, but she insists that she doesn't want to cut those ties. I feel like I am living with a ghost sometimes.

I have spoken to other members of her family. They have agreed that she needs to cut those ties, but my wife is being stubborn about changing her holiday routine. Your thoughts on this, please? -- LIVING WITH A GHOST IN KANSAS

DEAR LIVING WITH A GHOST: I don't know how long your wife was married before she was widowed, but it is possible that it was so long that she became a part of her in-laws' family, and you should not take that away from her. The solution to your problem lies in compromise. Not every holiday should be spent with them -- but that doesn't mean the two of you couldn't alternate. And that's what I recommend you do until you establish different traditions.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbors, "John" and "Marcia," are such a nice couple, I'm not sure what to do. I don't know them all that well, but what's going on is extremely upsetting.

On several occasions, I have seen a woman park her car near my home after dark and walk to the back door of their house. About an hour later, I see John let her out the front door. He even has the nerve to kiss her goodbye right on the front porch! I'm sure he is slipping this tart in for sex -- right under his wife's nose.

I want to tell Marcia what's going on, but I'm unsure how to go about it. I have contemplated just going over, knocking on the door and blurting it out. I have also considered writing her an anonymous letter. What's the right way to let someone know that her husband is cheating on her in her own house while she's there? -- NOT NOSY, JUST CONCERNED, NEW CUMBERLAND, PA.

DEAR NOT NOSY: I strongly recommend that you mind your own business and do nothing. If there was any hanky-panky going on, I seriously doubt that John would be indulging in it while his wife was in the house -- and kissing his illicit lover goodbye on their doorstep, yet. The woman may be a relative -- a sister, cousin or daughter -- so please do not embarrass yourself.

P.S. When someone is overly preoccupied with the sex life of a neighbor, it isn't "concern." It IS nosy, so please get a life.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 79-year-old recent widow. Shortly after I was married I had a brief, intense affair with a man at work. I'll call him "Earl."

Earl's wife, "Lillian," was in her third trimester of pregnancy and he was needy. We fell hopelessly in love and our affair continued after his baby was born. We were happy together and nothing else seemed to matter.

Somehow Lillian found out and left him. The divorce she said she'd seek would have solved our problems because I would have immediately divorced my husband, but it never happened. She still loved him, and he decided to do the "honorable thing" and reconcile with her. We swore we would love each other forever, no matter what.

Earl and Lillian moved to a city 50 miles from here and we had no further contact. My husband forgave me, and we had a good life and three children.

A friend kept me informed about Earl -- where he was and what he was doing. She told me he has spent his life making up to Lillian for his "indiscretion" and treating her like a queen. She is now in a nursing home suffering with Alzheimer's. She no longer knows Earl, but he goes to see her every day.

Would it be wrong of me to get in touch with him to sympathize? I still love him. Perhaps he loves me, too. We are both old and lonely. -- HOPING FOR MORE

DEAR HOPING: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your husband, but offering "sympathy" to Earl right now would not be a good idea. If your informant is correct, he has not only spent his life making amends to his wife for the affair, but he is still in love with her.

It would not be out of line to ask your friend to let Earl know that you are recently widowed, but don't hold your breath waiting for him to renew the romance. He has an important commitment he needs to see through to the end. And if you love him, you'll let him do it.