DEAR ABBY: I need an unbiased opinion. I am the father of a 12-year-old daughter, "Lia." She catches an early morning bus for school, and I leave for work at the same time her bus picks her up, so I'm in charge of getting her ready in the morning.

Although we have two bathrooms -- one upstairs and one down -- neither of us wants to use the downstairs bathroom to get ready. All our stuff is upstairs.

When I wake Lia up each morning, she heads into the shower and I go feed the dog. I then go into the bathroom and shave while she's in the shower. While I'm shaving we discuss sports and life in general. When I'm finished, I leave until she's done showering and goes back into her room. I then take my shower.

Is this wrong? Lia's mother thinks it's inappropriate for me to be in the bathroom at all while she's taking a shower. I think it is efficient because neither of us is willing to use the other bathroom, and I find it's a good time to find out what's going on in her life. Who's right? -- RIGHT OR WRONG IN WISCONSIN

DEAR RIGHT OR WRONG: Your wife is correct. It's not a matter of "right or wrong." It's a matter of what is appropriate.

At 12, your daughter is becoming a young woman. Either you or Lia needs to start using the downstairs bathroom. If you can't agree on who that will be, then draw straws. You can bond with her over breakfast.

DEAR ABBY: My old college roommate "Gina" and I live several states apart, but we have remained close over the years. Whenever I call her, her husband picks up an extension and listens in. We don't know he's listening until he says something. Other times, he'll stand next to her and constantly interrupt her while we're talking. He has his own friends and hobbies, and Gina does not know why he keeps butting in.

I have spoken to him when she is unavailable to make him feel involved, but this three-way conversation is bugging me. Since Gina appears to be unable to tell him to cut it out, what should I do? -- MIFFED IN MADISON

DEAR MIFFED: I see no reason why you shouldn't tell Gina -- whether her husband is listening or not -- how intrusive you feel her husband's eavesdropping is and that you would like your conversations to be private. After that, it will be up to her to decide where to draw the line.

DEAR ABBY: I am fortunate. I come from a close and loving family. Even though we have come through some difficult times recently, it has drawn us closer, strengthened our love and fueled our resolve to support each other no matter what.

So why am I writing? I am so full of love and emotion that it's not unusual for me to cry frequently. When we say goodbye after a visit, I cry more than anyone else. My daughter says it's a real downer -- and others feel awkward. So how does one turn off the flow of tears? -- TEARY-EYED IN ALABAMA

DEAR TEARY-EYED: As long as a person understands the reason why she (or he) is crying -- and it isn't because of displaced emotions -- tears are nothing to be embarrassed about, and I see no reason to stifle them. However, it's one thing to shed a few tears and another to come completely unglued. Because your display of emotion makes "others feel awkward," and if this is new behavior, it may be time to consult your physician to determine what's triggering the waterworks.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, I realized that my mother's eyesight and reflexes weren't what they once were, but she insisted on remaining behind the wheel. She was afraid of losing her independence if she gave up driving. Then she had a traffic accident that shook her enough to make her finally relinquish her keys -- but she wasn't happy about it.

The solution I came up with was to sell her car, put the money in an interest-bearing account, and contract with a local cab company to have a taxi at Mom's assisted-living facility whenever she needed transportation. Instead of billing her, they would send me an itemized statement and add a 20 percent gratuity, so Mom wouldn't have to worry about tipping.

In addition, they also agreed to carry Mother's packages and groceries to her door, and if she'd be less than a half-hour at her destination, the cab would wait for her. The company even agreed to use only three drivers, so Mom could get to know them.

When I visited her for dinner soon after these arrangements were made, I learned she was the hit of her assisted-living facility! Other residents told me what a great idea the taxi service was. What I didn't realize at the time was that Mom was inviting everyone there to come with her -- her treat -- to department stores, the market, even the theater. Prior to this, few of them got out at night because of poor eyesight or fear of being alone.

Using the interest-earning account and realizing the savings of not having to pay car insurance, upkeep, gas, etc., nobody was out of pocket. Mother was safe, and she discovered many new friends where she lived.

While Mom never totally forgave me for selling her car, I know she enjoyed her new freedom. And I was touched to meet all three of her taxi drivers when they came to her funeral. -- CARL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CARL: You made your mother's transition as painless as it could possibly be. Congratulations for finding a clever solution to a sticky problem. No one wants to give up driving and the independence that goes with it. But at some point, everyone who lives long enough must.

DEAR ABBY: Want another letter for your "Can you top this?" file? I have one for you.

My wife and I were invited to a 25th wedding anniversary party for my brother and his wife. We arrived with a gift, as did the other guests. It was a lovely gathering, and everyone congratulated "Bob and Mary" on their 25 wedded years.

A little over a year ago, Bob and Mary "separated." Imagine our family's surprise when Bob revealed that he and Mary had been divorced eight years earlier! Our family had no idea and neither did their friends.

Abby, this couple thought they were "entitled" to a 25th anniversary party and all the presents that go with it -- which they kept, by the way. Some folks will do anything for gifts, I guess. -- DISILLUSIONED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR DISILLUSIONED: Some people will do almost anything to keep up appearances. But faking a marriage eight years after the union has been dissolved is carrying things a bit too far -- and accepting 25th anniversary gifts for a marriage that's been over for almost a decade is out of the ballpark.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old guy in my sophomore year of high school. I am known as a friendly, outgoing guy who gets along with girls. My problem is, I used to be one of the biggest jerks who ever was. I was involved in fighting and other things I won't go into. But I turned my life around.

I was going out with an amazing girl, "Samantha." She always kept me in line, but was sweet about it. Recently, because I was ashamed of my past, I lied to her. She found out about it and, needless to say, she was very hurt. When I saw how hurt she was, I was sick to my stomach knowing how much pain I had caused such a trusting girl.

I want to make things right, but I don't know where to start. I have talked to her since then, but things aren't the same. Please help. -- LOVESICK IN KENNEWICK, WASH.

DEAR LOVESICK: Apologize again to Samantha for not being completely truthful with her, and explain that you lied because you were ashamed about your past behavior and only wanted someone as special as she is to see you in a good light. Promise never to do it again.

If she likes you as much as you like her, she'll give you another chance. But remember, from here on you will have to be honest because if she catches you in another lie, she won't believe another word that comes out of your mouth. Enough said?

DEAR ABBY: I am blessed with many wonderful friends. We exchange small gifts on birthdays and at Christmas. As much as I appreciate the gifts, I am running out of room in my closets because I have too much stuff. Sometimes the gifts are not to my taste or they don't fit in with my decor.

How long should I keep an item before I donate it to a thrift shop? Is it ungracious to give it away? Am I obligated to display or use something I don't like?

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I have tried suggesting that at our ages (50s and 60s) we should cut out the gift-giving, donate the money to charity and celebrate by going out to lunch on our birthdays. It didn't go over very well. They all enjoy the exchange of presents. I am happy to give one, but I really don't need anything more. Thanks for your help. -- TOO BLESSED IN SANTA ANA, CALIF.

DEAR TOO BLESSED: It's not ungracious to give away something you can't use -- in fact, the practice is so common there is a name for it. It's called "regifting." It won't cause hurt feelings as long as you are careful not to give an item back to the person who give it to you.

Donating something to a thrift shop is also a practical way to get rid of it, and you can do it anytime you wish. One person's "castoff" can be another's treasure. Everybody wins and a worthwhile charity makes money.

Because you are "thinged out" and prefer divesting to accumulating, I recommend you stop "suggesting" and have a frank talk with your friends. Tell them you have everything you need, that their friendship -- which you already have -- is the most precious gift they could ever give you, and on birthdays from now on you'd much prefer meeting for your celebratory lunch, but please to donate whatever they'd spend on your gift to charity. After that, the ball's in their court.