DEAR ABBY: I work in a call center with 35 other workers. Recently our supervisor hired a woman who is mentally ill. We acknowledge that she has a right to work and, for the most part, she appears to be capable.

The problem is she hears "voices" speaking to her and often responds to them. Other times she "hears" co-workers seated behind her plotting to kill her, which, of course, is not true. She disrupts those around her by constantly asking if they can hear what others are saying about her and what she should do about it.

We have spoken to our supervisor about our concerns. His answer is, "Just be quiet and it will be OK." We don't dislike her -- in fact, we're sympathetic -- but we resent the position we have been placed in. None of us have been trained to deal with mental health issues. Have you any suggestions on how to handle this? -- UNEASY IN OHIO

DEAR UNEASY: Your supervisor is mistaken. Just being quiet is not the answer because the voices the woman is hearing are in her head. She's acting this way because she has gone off her medication.

This may be a workplace safety issue. Therefore, you and your co-workers must insist that the supervisor take action to ensure that she's not posing a threat to all of you.

DEAR ABBY: Would it be inappropriate or tacky if I had a mother/daughter dance at my daughter's wedding? I know it's a father/daughter tradition, and my husband will obviously have his dance with her, but I'd like to have a shot at it, too.

My reason is purely selfish. Having lost my son two years ago, I will never experience the mother/son dance we were supposed to share at his wedding the year he died.

Is this crazy? Horribly inappropriate? Am I being too selfish? -- SENTIMENTAL IN YONKERS

DEAR SENTIMENTAL: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your son. The mother/daughter dance is something you need to discuss with your daughter and her fiance. What you have in mind is unusual. However, it would be selfish only if you were to pressure your daughter into it over her objections.

DEAR ABBY: I am extremely thin and have struggled for years with eating disorders and an unhealthy relationship with food. It's difficult for me to go out with family and friends because everyone watches me -- from what I order to how much I consume -- and comments on it. If they decide I haven't eaten enough, they make hurtful comments about my weight.

What I need people to understand is that it is just as hurtful to make fun of someone who is thin by calling him names such as "Stick" or "Bean Pole" as it is to mock a fat person.

Some of us are thin because we are ill, whether it is physically or emotionally. Making fun of us is tasteless, hurtful and unhelpful. -- ROBERT IN N.Y.C.

DEAR ROBERT: I'm glad you wrote, because your letter provides me with the opening to remind my readers that joking about someone's appearance isn't clever or funny. It's cruel. While the target may take those comments with apparent good humor, no one likes to be ridiculed. And frankly, when it happens, it demeans the speaker more than the person at which it is aimed.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend "Jenny's" husband died four years ago. They had been married 28 years, and she has grieved hard for him. She has been looking for a relationship because she wants a man in her life.

Three months ago, she ran into a married man she knew through her former job. (I'll call him "George.") They were casual acquaintances, but when George learned she was a widow he immediately asked for her phone number. He called the next day, they talked, he visited her at her home, and they had unprotected sex. They now see each other once or twice a week and have sex. That's all they do. Jenny says she's in love with him. She talks about him constantly and says she's very happy.

My husband and I were at a club the other night and saw George in the company of another woman. I haven't told Jenny because she doesn't want to be told if her man is cheating on her. She says that what she doesn't know won't hurt her. I disagree. If he's having unprotected sex with her, it's probably the same with the other woman. George appears to be a player and Jenny has blinders on. I'm worried about her.

I don't want to ruin our friendship. We love each other like sisters. But I hate seeing her used like this. What should I do? My husband says leave it alone -- she'll find out anyway. -- DISMAYED IN DALLAS

DEAR DISMAYED: When someone tells you she doesn't want to know if her man is cheating on her and what she doesn't know won't hurt her, take it from me, she already knows he probably is. And by the way, George isn't "her" man -- he is his wife's man. How do you know he wasn't with his wife that night at the club?

You may love Jenny like a sister, but you can't save her. Your husband is right. Leave it alone.

DEAR ABBY: I work for a small company where I'm one of 12 employees under one manager. My boss, "Debbie," is having problems at home. Almost daily, she brings her not-so-sunny outlook to the office and proceeds to drag everyone else down.

Any time a colleague has something positive to share, Debbie finds a way to negate it. If someone mentions it's nice weather, she'll complain about how much yard work she needs to do and the disastrous effects of global warming. She even complained that a pregnant co-worker's impending maternity leave will be "inconvenient."

The woman thrives on negativity, chaos and stress. She even complains about happy times of the year like summer vacations and holidays because we tend to be busier. (Isn't that a good thing considering the economic climate?)

Our office is small, so there's no escaping her. If she's not complaining to us, she's telling the same sob stories to a client on the phone. What can my co-workers and I do to keep from being dragged down with her? -- WORKING FOR "DEBBIE DOWNER INC."

DEAR WORKING: You and your co-workers should talk to your employer as a group because "Debbie's" behavior is neither professional nor conducive to a healthy working environment. Your boss should also be told that she is sharing her "sob stories" with clients, because it could cost him business.

Debbie may or may not need psychological counseling, but she definitely needs to be "counseled" about leaving her personal problems at the door when she enters the work environment. And the person to stress that to her is HER boss.

DEAR ABBY: I was thrilled to read "Sober in Scottsdale's" (July 28) letter about drinking. I'm a 21-year-old college student who has also struggled with choosing to be sober amidst the majority of my drunken peers. Most people my age drink only to get drunk and appear to be unable to have fun without the aid of alcohol. Every activity must be performed under the influence.

While at a nightclub, one friend asked me how I was able to "dance and have a good time without being drunk."

Abby, in your response to "Sober," you said that drinkers should "mind their own business" because "there is usually a good reason why a person doesn't drink." For me, there is no medical, metabolic or addiction problem that prevents me from consuming alcohol. But I have seen the effects it has on my peers -- putting them in drunken stupors, using awful judgment, and being taken to the hospital after blacking out.

I left the college of my choice after one month because I could no longer stand hearing people in the bathroom vomiting all night long. Drinkers aren't ashamed of these displays. They brag about them to their friends the next day.

I sure hope this stage is one that will pass with age. I often long for the days when I was younger, when playing board games and sipping juice was considered a good time. -- NOT DRINKING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR NOT DRINKING: Apparently binge drinking is still a rite of passage for some college students. I would like to address one comment you made in your letter. With some young people, binge drinking is a phase that passes as they learn their limit -- but with others it can be a pattern that begins in their teens and sometimes even younger. Read on for more comments from readers who feel as you do:

DEAR ABBY: I chose to be a non-drinker when my children became teenagers. I wanted to show them that I could have a good time without drinking, and I think it was an important lesson.

Parents need to seriously consider the messages they convey. I'm shocked that some allow underage drinking in their homes. One mother who had a party in her home told me the kids were drinking there for the "learning experience." I got so annoyed I asked her if she was also providing hookers, since many of the teens were probably sexually inexperienced too. She didn't know what to say. -- VENTING IN SOUTH WINDSOR, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: You said there's usually a good reason why a person doesn't drink. Can't it just be my choice? I'm not an alcoholic, and I don't take medication that alcohol would react adversely with. I enjoy an occasional glass of wine or other alcoholic beverage, but I do not need to drink in order to have a good time. And there is nothing "wrong" with me if I choose to refrain from indulging. More people should make the same choice. -- CHERYL IN MADISON, ALA.

DEAR ABBY: I choose not to drink so I can be the designated driver should the need arise. My dad was a member of AA. And, quite frankly, I'd rather use my calories on cake than a drink. -- DESIGNATED DRIVER, CEDAR PARK, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Why should a person need a reason not to drink? The question that should be asked is, "Why are these people drinking?" Personally, I'm with "Scottsdale." I don't like the taste of alcohol, don't like the effects and, more important, I don't like the death statistics associated with drinkers and those unfortunates who end up in their paths. -- DONNA IN LAKE CITY, FLA.