DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, "Simon," for a year and a half. He's a good person, but my problem is I suffer from insomnia and have a hard time staying asleep. It is extremely frustrating -- not to mention lonely -- lying in the dark. I start to think about crazy things and it scares me.

If it gets really bad I wake Simon up, but he doesn't understand. He starts going off on me for waking him, to the point that I'm reduced to tears. Then he goes back to sleep.

What should I do? This is a disorder that is going to be with me for some time. Simon doesn't seem to care despite my numerous attempts to explain it to him. I know people hate being awakened from a sleep, but he's my significant other. Isn't he supposed to help me out? -- ANXIOUS IN ANCHORAGE

DEAR ANXIOUS: Of course he should. However, because he is either unwilling or unable to offer the emotional support you need to help you through your night terrors, you are going to have to help yourself. That's why I'm recommending you talk to your physician about a referral to the nearest sleep disorder clinic. You need to understand and overcome whatever is keeping you up, because both you and Simon need a good night's sleep to remain healthy and effective during the daytime.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are being married in about a month. Some friends in another country (who don't speak English) offered to design and give us our rings as a wedding gift. They asked whether we wanted white or yellow gold, and we specified white or a combination of both -- but not yellow by itself.

Yellow gold is what my parents used to wear -- and they had a terrible relationship and an even worse divorce.

The rings arrived and they are beautiful, but they are yellow gold! I'm assuming something was lost in translation. I know a marriage isn't about the rings, but I had my heart set on wearing ones unlike my parents'.

I don't think anything can be done at this point, and I don't want to raise an objection about such a generous gift. Have you any words of wisdom to help me overcome my hang-ups and this silly feeling of disappointment? -- FEELING SHALLOW IN SUNNY CALIFORNIA

DEAR FEELING SHALLOW: Your parents had a rotten marriage, but their rings had nothing to do with it. We create our own symbols and attach meaning to them. Instead of allowing the gold rings to remind you of your parents' unhappiness, why not let them serve as a reminder of what's important in a marriage so you won't make the same mistakes they did? And if that doesn't work, consult a jeweler about having them plated.

DEAR ABBY: Is it rude to put salt on your food before you have even tried it? My husband was terribly offended when I blurted out, "Try it before you season it!" -- NADINE IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR NADINE: Yes, it is rude. And it's interesting that your husband became so defensive, because usually it's the person who cooked the dish who is offended. The polite thing to do is to first taste the item before deciding to correct the seasoning.

DEAR ABBY: I spent my high school years chasing girls and participating in sports. I made good grades and was popular with peers and faculty.

I have since graduated and entered college. I have also come out of the closet as gay. Due to popular sites such as Facebook, I have reunited with old friends who are interested to hear about my "new life."

With those not "in the know," I feel uncomfortable having to come out of the closet again and again. I don't feel ashamed about myself or my boyfriend, but I feel a certain discomfort when my former and present lives meet.

I have many friends, old and new, gay and straight, who I care about. But I feel some anxiety over the reactions I get from some of those people, even though they no longer hold a prominent place in my life. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could tell me how to handle and deal with such situations. -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR BETWIXT: I understand your anxiety, but the reaction you're getting from some of your old friends is a direct result of how effectively you hid your homosexuality behind chasing girls and the misperception that being a talented athlete has anything to do with a person's sexual orientation.

You need to accept the fact that people will be surprised because they assumed you were straight like they are. Some of them will be accepting; others won't. But the people who count will get beyond it. The way to handle this is with the same humor and compassion you would like from others. It may take some practice and coming to terms with your own feelings, but I have every confidence that you'll do it as thousands of other people have.

DEAR ABBY: I am 48 and recently divorced from my husband of 25 years. Like others in my age group, I worry about my prospects of finding another partner -- especially because I am no longer the "cute young thing" I once was.

A few days ago, I was at a local wildlife park and struck up a conversation with a pleasant senior couple. They looked as though they had been married more than 50 years, but they happily informed me they were on their honeymoon! When we finished our chat, the woman said to her husband, "I guess we'd better be going, baby," and off they went, hand-in-hand.

It just goes to show that it's never too late for love to blossom! -- WILLING TO WAIT IN NOVA SCOTIA

DEAR WILLING TO WAIT: I'll say! My lovely cousin Suzie is being married in about two weeks after 26 years as a widow. It never is too late for love to blossom -- all it takes is a seed of friendship and a couple who decide they're ready to make a commitment.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman in my 20s who, while very friendly, is funny about being touched. I am extremely uncomfortable when people outside my immediate family hug me, rub my shoulders or place a hand on my back or arm. Yet somehow, people tend to do this with me.

How can I express my discomfort without sounding antisocial or mean? I'd appreciate your advice. -- TOUCHY SUBJECT

DEAR TOUCHY SUBJECT: Do it with humor. Say, "If you do that again, you'll have to marry me!" It should work with members of both sexes, depending upon the state you live in.

DEAR ABBY: "Wondering in Goldsboro, N.C.," asked why President Barack Obama is considered to be African-American when he's biracial. While your response was accurate, you missed an opportunity to educate your readers by failing to give the historical context as to why most people refer to him as African-American.

There was a time in this country when "blacks"/African-Americans were considered only to be three-fifths (3/5) of a human being. Also, if a person had one drop of "black" blood they were considered black. Although as a society we have progressed intellectually and in our understanding of what a human being is, we continue to hold on to archaic beliefs about skin color that not only pigeonhole an individual, but may force an individual to choose what so-called racial group that he/she identifies with most.

I can clearly see that the conversation regarding "race" and skin color must be continued in this country. Though we've "come a long way, baby," we still have a long way to go in understanding this country's deep-rooted responses to skin color. -- LIVING IN AMERICA

DEAR LIVING: I think if one digs deep enough, we will come to the realization that there has always been a component of economic exploitation and perceived economic threat that is, and has been, at the root of racial discrimination. (But that's just my opinion.) Read on:

DEAR ABBY: In Obama's book, "Dreams From My Father," he calls himself a black man of mixed descent. His decision to do that is as much a political decision as it is a personal one.

Most people of color of mixed race in our society have felt we had to choose to be the darker color because we can never be white.

In our society, most people who do or don't know of Obama's mixed background would treat him as a black man. (If you saw him walking down the street, would you say, "Hey, that guy's half-white!") By embracing his political identity he supports and strengthens all black people in the U.S. by standing proudly as one of us. -- NICOLE IN MARIN COUNTY, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: African-American does not denote skin color, but an ethnic culture, a term that describes those of us who are descendants of captive Africans in America. It holds the same level of pride as it does for those who pronounce they are Italian-American or Asian-American. -- MICHELLE IN MARYLAND

DEAR ABBY: You write that the term African-American is used in this country as a label that describes skin color. I believe you are correct, and that's the problem. "African-American" identifies origin or ancestry, not skin color. Furthermore, if the anthropologists are right, then -- going back far enough -- we are ALL African-American. -- AFRICAN-AMERICAN MEMBER OF THE HUMAN RACE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR ABBY: Why can't we all be called just plain AMERICANS if we grow up in America and are citizens of America? I think a lot of people have wondered this. -- SANDY B. IN HARRISBURG, PA.

DEAR SANDY: That's a good question and one that I hope will one day be put to rest -- if not by our children, then by our children's children. -- SINCERELY, ABBY