DEAR ABBY: I spent my high school years chasing girls and participating in sports. I made good grades and was popular with peers and faculty.

I have since graduated and entered college. I have also come out of the closet as gay. Due to popular sites such as Facebook, I have reunited with old friends who are interested to hear about my "new life."

With those not "in the know," I feel uncomfortable having to come out of the closet again and again. I don't feel ashamed about myself or my boyfriend, but I feel a certain discomfort when my former and present lives meet.

I have many friends, old and new, gay and straight, who I care about. But I feel some anxiety over the reactions I get from some of those people, even though they no longer hold a prominent place in my life. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could tell me how to handle and deal with such situations. -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR BETWIXT: I understand your anxiety, but the reaction you're getting from some of your old friends is a direct result of how effectively you hid your homosexuality behind chasing girls and the misperception that being a talented athlete has anything to do with a person's sexual orientation.

You need to accept the fact that people will be surprised because they assumed you were straight like they are. Some of them will be accepting; others won't. But the people who count will get beyond it. The way to handle this is with the same humor and compassion you would like from others. It may take some practice and coming to terms with your own feelings, but I have every confidence that you'll do it as thousands of other people have.

DEAR ABBY: I am 48 and recently divorced from my husband of 25 years. Like others in my age group, I worry about my prospects of finding another partner -- especially because I am no longer the "cute young thing" I once was.

A few days ago, I was at a local wildlife park and struck up a conversation with a pleasant senior couple. They looked as though they had been married more than 50 years, but they happily informed me they were on their honeymoon! When we finished our chat, the woman said to her husband, "I guess we'd better be going, baby," and off they went, hand-in-hand.

It just goes to show that it's never too late for love to blossom! -- WILLING TO WAIT IN NOVA SCOTIA

DEAR WILLING TO WAIT: I'll say! My lovely cousin Suzie is being married in about two weeks after 26 years as a widow. It never is too late for love to blossom -- all it takes is a seed of friendship and a couple who decide they're ready to make a commitment.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman in my 20s who, while very friendly, is funny about being touched. I am extremely uncomfortable when people outside my immediate family hug me, rub my shoulders or place a hand on my back or arm. Yet somehow, people tend to do this with me.

How can I express my discomfort without sounding antisocial or mean? I'd appreciate your advice. -- TOUCHY SUBJECT

DEAR TOUCHY SUBJECT: Do it with humor. Say, "If you do that again, you'll have to marry me!" It should work with members of both sexes, depending upon the state you live in.

DEAR ABBY: "Wondering in Goldsboro, N.C.," asked why President Barack Obama is considered to be African-American when he's biracial. While your response was accurate, you missed an opportunity to educate your readers by failing to give the historical context as to why most people refer to him as African-American.

There was a time in this country when "blacks"/African-Americans were considered only to be three-fifths (3/5) of a human being. Also, if a person had one drop of "black" blood they were considered black. Although as a society we have progressed intellectually and in our understanding of what a human being is, we continue to hold on to archaic beliefs about skin color that not only pigeonhole an individual, but may force an individual to choose what so-called racial group that he/she identifies with most.

I can clearly see that the conversation regarding "race" and skin color must be continued in this country. Though we've "come a long way, baby," we still have a long way to go in understanding this country's deep-rooted responses to skin color. -- LIVING IN AMERICA

DEAR LIVING: I think if one digs deep enough, we will come to the realization that there has always been a component of economic exploitation and perceived economic threat that is, and has been, at the root of racial discrimination. (But that's just my opinion.) Read on:

DEAR ABBY: In Obama's book, "Dreams From My Father," he calls himself a black man of mixed descent. His decision to do that is as much a political decision as it is a personal one.

Most people of color of mixed race in our society have felt we had to choose to be the darker color because we can never be white.

In our society, most people who do or don't know of Obama's mixed background would treat him as a black man. (If you saw him walking down the street, would you say, "Hey, that guy's half-white!") By embracing his political identity he supports and strengthens all black people in the U.S. by standing proudly as one of us. -- NICOLE IN MARIN COUNTY, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: African-American does not denote skin color, but an ethnic culture, a term that describes those of us who are descendants of captive Africans in America. It holds the same level of pride as it does for those who pronounce they are Italian-American or Asian-American. -- MICHELLE IN MARYLAND

DEAR ABBY: You write that the term African-American is used in this country as a label that describes skin color. I believe you are correct, and that's the problem. "African-American" identifies origin or ancestry, not skin color. Furthermore, if the anthropologists are right, then -- going back far enough -- we are ALL African-American. -- AFRICAN-AMERICAN MEMBER OF THE HUMAN RACE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR ABBY: Why can't we all be called just plain AMERICANS if we grow up in America and are citizens of America? I think a lot of people have wondered this. -- SANDY B. IN HARRISBURG, PA.

DEAR SANDY: That's a good question and one that I hope will one day be put to rest -- if not by our children, then by our children's children. -- SINCERELY, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: On July 23, "Wondering" asked why President Obama is considered to be African-American and you responded that the term "African-American" is used in this country as a label that describes skin color. However, in the U.S. the term is generally applied to black Americans of slave ancestry.

Before the Civil War we were African-American slaves, not considered fully human by the U.S. Constitution. After the Civil War and the outlawing of slavery, former slaves gained citizenship through amendments to the Constitution but were not able to exercise the full rights of citizenship. Most former slaves wanted to just be "Americans" with all the rights and privileges associated with it -- but because of the color of their skin were discriminated against and given second-class citizenship.

The term "African-American" is the result of a search for identity by these new Americans, former slaves and their descendants. We were called by many names -- most of them negative, such as "Negro," "Colored," "African," the infamous "N-word," "Afro-American" and finally, "black." All of these at one time we considered negative because they didn't represent self-identification.

The black power movement occurred when Black Americans changed the negative term "black" to the positive term "Black." The musician James Brown coined the phrase, "Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud." Later other black folk began to adopt the term "African-American," which brings us to the present.

We are a nation that has roots in all nations of the world. Truly, "we ARE the world." We're all American, either by birth or naturalization. The labels tend to divide us into groups which separate us rather than bring us together. The saying "United We Stand, Divided We Fall" is true. Let us all come together and all be blessed. -- REV. ALTON E. PARIS, AMERICAN

DEAR REV. PARIS: Thank you for your letter, which is both inspiring and educational. Many readers had comments about my answer, and they were all over the map. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am a white female with many African-American friends, and yes, I did vote for Obama. When Obama became president, most of my black friends said: "Finally! We have a black man as president. All this racism will stop. The white man is no longer in charge of things."

To me, it was like it didn't matter that his mother was white, he was raised by his grandmother who was white, and he is half-white. What I'm trying to say is, he's a man of equal parts -- not all black. So why do African-Americans make it sound like he is of all black heritage? Isn't he of white heritage also? A lot of my white friends feel the same way I do. -- NANCY G. IN CLEVELAND

DEAR ABBY: Please inform "Wondering" that according to Webster's Dictionary, President Obama is mulatto, which is a person who is a first-generation offspring of a black person and a white person. -- WILLIAM B., CLAYTON, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: When living in America, I am called an African-American. If I move to Africa, would I be called an American-African? -- KENNETH F., SARALAND, ALA.

DEAR ABBY: Many biracial children are considered to be part of the ethnic group they resemble the most. While some may consider it disrespectful to say that someone is of one race when he or she is really biracial, this is the world we live in. We do, truly, "call 'em like we see 'em"! -- DEVYN B., FAYETTEVILLE, N.C.

READERS: I'll have more on this tomorrow.