DEAR ABBY: My toddler and I were rear-ended a few days ago. Thankfully, neither of us was hurt. The other driver's insurance is paying for the car repairs. They will also reimburse me for a new car seat if I buy one and submit the receipt.

My husband, the sole wage earner in our family, insists that we don't need to replace the car seat. Money is tight, but I think we could come up with it, and besides, we'd be reimbursed. He also thinks the accident was so minor that the seat should protect our child in another collision, and I'm "just a gullible consumer buying into marketing propaganda." (For the record, he's a loving husband and father, just tight with money.)

Should I replace the car seat knowing it will upset him, or should I continue feeling guilty about placing our child in a possibly compromised car seat? -- SAFETY-FIRST MOM IN TENNESSEE

DEAR SAFETY-FIRST MOM: Far be it from me to imply that insurance companies aren't the epitome of generosity, but when an insurance company offers reimbursement for a child safety device that has been through an accident, I think you should take the hint. As to your husband's fiscal conservatism, tell him that he won't be fronting the money because you are gullible. He'll be doing it to give you something worth more than money -- and that's peace of mind.

DEAR ABBY: I have been living with a very nice man for 28 years, and at one point we were married. He lives in my house and drives my car. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry and household chores. He does small repairs around the house, keeps the irrigation system in good repair and contributes $600 a month for expenses.

He goes to visit his family and friends in the West every summer for two weeks or more. This year he told me he was not coming back because he's broke. I was upset to say the least. He did come back, and now at 75, I think I will end up supporting him for the rest of my life.

Abby, should I bite the bullet, say "It's only money" and support him, or should I kiss him goodbye and wish him well? -- UNDECIDED IN FLORIDA

DEAR UNDECIDED: Have you kept him in your house all these years because of his handyman skills and the $7,200 a year he gave you? If the answer is yes, then out he goes. However, if you cooked for him, cleaned for him, washed his dirty underwear and socks and slept with him because you LOVED him -- then I think the pain of separation would make your life misery and you should continue accepting him for who he is and let him stay.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had my teenage daughter vaccinated against HPV. Since then, my mother-in-law has been sending me e-mails regarding the "dangers" associated with these vaccines. The vaccination was recommended by my daughter's pediatrician and she handled it fine.

Regardless, it was a done deal -- so why try to horrify me and scare her granddaughter? Any ideas on how to handle this? -- TIRED OF MEDDLING MOTHER-IN-LAW

DEAR TIRED: Just this: Did you seek your mother-in-law's input when making the decision? No? Then don't take the bait and don't react, but do delete her e-mails.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 23 years. Not once in all those 23 years have I ever received an apology from her.

She spilled mustard on my shirt while she was reaching across a table. It was my fault for not handing her a napkin she was reaching for.

While we were playing racquetball she drilled me in the back with the ball and left a huge and painful welt. Again, nothing.

She charged $4,000 on a credit card and didn't tell me. She said it was "my fault" -- she was "getting back at me" for spending too much time at work. After talking and counseling, I still received no apology.

I'm not perfect, and we have other issues in the marriage, but I am at a loss as to why she won't apologize for anything -- even injuring me in an accident. She spins every argument so she can win. Why won't my wife say "I'm sorry"? -- HARASSED HUSBAND IN IDAHO

DEAR HUSBAND: I strongly suspect it's because she isn't sorry. What she is is angry and has a need to punish you. The safest way to do that for her is through an "accident."

More than needing an answer from me, what you need is insight from a licensed psychotherapist to help you understand not only why your wife acts out the way she does -- but also why you would continue to tolerate it for 23 years.

DEAR ABBY: At what point does a parent stop giving unsolicited advice? It is painful to watch my "child" repeatedly make choices that aren't in her best interest.

My daughter, "Alicia," is 43. When she inherited a considerable estate, I told her the windfall could make her quite comfortable in her old age. She agreed. After a year and a half I doubt she has much of her inheritance left.

Now that yet another live-in relationship has ended, I suggested that next time she find a man who is self-supporting. I also urged her to quit uprooting herself and her kids.

After years of weight issues, Alicia now has a new figure thanks to Lap-Band and plastic surgery. She let the boyfriend du jour select the size of her implants. Being of the strip club mentality, he chose DD. Abby, my daughter looks like two olives on a toothpick. I'm heartsick and can't help but wonder what my teenage grandchildren think. It's hard to watch a train wreck happen.

Although I am trying to keep my mouth shut, she tells me she "feels" my disapproval. I think it's her conscience that she's trying to ignore. Must I duct tape my mouth shut? -- DISAPPROVING MOM IN TEXAS

DEAR MOM: At this point, yes. Your daughter is an adult. She hasn't listened before and she's unlikely to do it now. Perhaps when her current romance ends, she'll be more receptive. But for now, keep mum, mom.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and a junior in high school. I was diagnosed with panic disorder and have recently started treatment. I have only told a few friends and family members that I'm seeing a therapist and am on medication.

What should I do if I have an anxiety attack or panic attack in class? Should I talk to the school nurse or counselor so I'll have a safe place to go? -- PANICKED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PANICKED: Yes, you should absolutely do that if it will lessen your level of anxiety. You should also inform your teachers. But before you do, ask your therapist to give you a note you can share with them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 19 and currently dating a guy I can't stand. I don't know what to do. He's leaving next year and my friends tell me I should just bear with it until then. I don't know if I can.

He doesn't respect my opinions, makes fun of my taste in music and literature and is basically a know-it-all. Religion is also an issue: He's an atheist and I'm a Christian. I don't feel comfortable being serious with someone who has no qualms about calling my beliefs "b.s." to my face as well as behind my back. I also don't feel comfortable with premarital sex, but he's sure he can change my mind. He constantly reminds me how "patient" he can be about it.

Abby, it's such a mess. I feel like hiding in my room and not answering the phone. -- DESPERATE IN TUCSON

DEAR DESPERATE: It's time to stand up for yourself. Do not hide or avoid picking up the phone. The next time that egotistical creep -- and that's what he is -- calls, say, "It's over!" If he asks why, tell him you're not interested in having anything to do with anyone who belittles you and calls your religious beliefs "b.s.," and regardless of how "patient" he is, you will never sleep with him. Do not talk to him after that. Screen your calls, and if he asks to see you "just one more time," avoid him.

DEAR ABBY: All of my boyfriend "Alex's" close friends have been in jail or in rehab. I know they're good people who made some poor choices, but I don't like associating with them or inviting them to events with my friends and family.

Alex understands why they're not invited and hangs out with them on his own time, and I understand that he's loyal to his friends.

Alex has a good job. He comes from a good family and makes good decisions in life. None of his friends can say the same. I realize my boyfriend is different from them, but I'm concerned about why he continues associating with them. Can you help me understand? -- CHOOSY IN SAN JOSE

DEAR CHOOSY: Your boyfriend associates with them because he is comfortable with them, and I don't blame you for being concerned. Granted, Alex comes from a good family, has a good job and makes "good decisions in life." But I'd be worried, too, if my boyfriend surrounded himself only with people who have had serious problems. It could indicate that although Alex has everything going for him, he may not feel good about himself.

DEAR ABBY: I recently baby-sat with my 4-year-old grandson for almost a week. During that time I noticed he was using the word "ain't." My daughter, a college graduate, lives about an hour away in a more rural area. She became very defensive when I mentioned it, and told me it is accepted in the South and he will continue to use that word.

I am concerned about the limiting effect I feel this may have on my grandson's future life and opportunities. What are your thoughts on this issue, and how should I behave? -- GRAMMAR GRANDMA IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR GRANDMA: Parents who fail to teach their children proper grammar are doing their children no favor. Obviously, your grandson is mimicking the kind of speech he's hearing around him -- and probably at home.

How should you behave? Continue to model proper English grammar when he's with you, encourage him to use it and remind him when he forgets.