DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Adam," and I bought a lovely, secluded home in the country. We have no children, and our nearest neighbor is a half-mile away. Now it seems like my husband plans to spend the rest of his life in the nude. He loves it and often tells me how "relaxing" it feels. I must admit his temperament has improved.

Please don't get me wrong -- I'm not a prude. But Adam goes for days on end without wearing a stitch unless we're going out or someone is coming over. He works in the yard, cuts the grass, hikes in our woods naked -- and has a head-to-toe golden tan.

I don't mind seeing my husband in the buff. He's clean and well-groomed and nearly as trim as when we first married. (We both are.) My problem is, Adam is constantly after me to join him. I admire his nerve, but just can't bring myself to go outdoors with nothing on, despite the privacy. My biggest hang-up is fear of getting caught.

Last month, Adam was mowing the lawn and didn't hear the UPS truck come down our long driveway. Caught "red-handed," he nonchalantly signed for the package, wished the driver a good day and went back to work. The driver winked and gave me a thumbs-up as he drove away.

Should I give in to Adam's request and give his nude lifestyle a try? I know it would mean a lot to him. I told him I'd follow your advice. -- "EVE" IN UPSTATE NEW YORK

DEAR "EVE": I'm not opposed to it. From everything I have read, and from readers' testimonials, the naturalist lifestyle is healthy and upbeat, so give it a try. Just be sure to wear sunscreen.

P.S. By December, your problem should no longer be a problem.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Opal" worries me. When it comes to dating, she meets most of her men in bars. They're usually a lot younger than she is. Opal is in her late 50s -- her "boyfriends" are 40 or younger.

I have no problem with women dating younger men, Abby, but these are guys who have been in jail and who have had drug problems, emotional issues, etc. Because I am Opal's best pal, I am the person whose shoulder she cries on when these relationships don't work out.

I am tired of always hearing the same old sob story. Sometimes I just want to slap some sense into her. What should I do when she calls me upset because she has been dumped again? I've had it, and I don't know what to do. -- APPALLED IN CLEVELAND

DEAR APPALLED: Poor Opal appears to be desperate for companionship and incapable of learning from her mistakes. The next time she calls to cry on your shoulder, give her the wake-up call she needs. Explain that if she's trying to hook a mountain trout, she shouldn't be fishing in a herring barrel. If she takes offense, so be it -- because she's looking for love in all the wrong places, and it appears your friendship has pretty much run its course.

DEAR ABBY: A single male friend and I have had a running debate about the phrase "I love you, but I am not IN love with you." It came up again with his telling another friend he believes there is a big difference between the two.

I have been married for 20 years, and I told him that all love starts out "in" love and gradually becomes a more meaningful and everlasting love. Can you settle this? -- TIRED OF HEARING IT IN TEXAS

DEAR TIRED: You can love more than one person at a time, but to be IN love with someone implies that you are focused only on that person and want the relationship to be exclusive. Although sometimes that feeling passes, other times it deepens into the emotion that you described. In other words, when it comes to love there are no absolutes.

DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Sick of Waiting in Denver" (June 25) will help a number of our patients. Physicians don't want frustrated and angry patients, and we don't plan our day expecting long waits. Your suggestion that when a doctor is running more than 15 minutes late, the next person should be warned is appropriate.

Your other suggestion to call the doctor's office an hour ahead of time to see if he/she is on schedule might not work. The physician might be on schedule, but a problem could arise that throws him/her off. Arriving at the office and finding the doctor horribly backed up after hearing that he was on schedule at the time of the phone call would be upsetting.

Unfortunately, I haven't found an easy solution to this in my 25 years of practice. It does help to focus on good manners and empathy, and to alert patients at the time of check-in if there's a problem, which allows them to return or reschedule. Of course, the physician conveying personally to his patients that their time is as important as his also goes a long way. -- MARC SCHNEIDERMAN, M.D., PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DR. SCHNEIDERMAN: Amen to that, and thank you for saying so. Read on for some of the comments I received from patients:

DEAR ABBY: I find it interesting that the doctor's rights are prominently posted in the waiting room, e.g., co-pays are due before you see the doctor, if you don't cancel your appointment 24 hours in advance and you fail to show up, you will be billed for the appointment. But nowhere do you see the patients' rights posted.

As a patient I insist on one simple right -- that the doctor see me within 15 minutes of the appointed time made by his/her staff. Last year I fired two doctors for keeping me waiting. In both cases I let the doctor know I would no longer be seeing them and why. One had the gall to tell me his patients EXPECTED to wait for him!

As patients, we enable doctors to get away with unprofessional behavior by not insisting on accountability. I am a professional, and time spent in a doctor's office is time taken away from my clients. My time is as valuable to me as the doctors' time is to them. -- LARRY W., SUN CITY, ARIZ.

DEAR ABBY: I suggest that whenever possible, patients should request the first appointment in the morning or after lunch. The chances of being seen on time are greater at those times. -- MAGGIE B., DANA POINT, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: My husband had an appointment with a physician who kept him waiting an hour in the waiting room and nearly another hour in the examination room. When the doctor finally appeared, my husband complained about the long wait.

"I'm a doctor and I can't be rushed," he responded. "If I make a mistake, someone could DIE."

My husband, without missing a beat said, "Really? Well, I'm an architect. If I make a mistake, THOUSANDS could die. I guess I win."

With that, he got dressed and walked out. Needless to say, we never returned to that doctor.

I disagree that it is the patient's job to make sure the doctor isn't running late. His office staff can easily inform people of that fact when they walk in, giving them the option of waiting if they wish (or can). -- NO LONGER WAITING, HARMONY, PA.

DEAR ABBY: I am a professional. My hourly fees are similar to those of doctors. My policy is any waiting time after 30 minutes, I bill the doctor for my time. -- PATRICK IN SAN ANSELMO

DEAR ABBY: I will be going into the seventh grade soon. I'll be in all advanced classes, and I am also doing several sports. My problem is I'm very nervous.

I'm afraid of getting lost on my way to my classes, that I'll have a hard time meeting new people and that I'll be overwhelmed with work. One night I had a dream about all my fears coming true! Is there any way I can get past these feelings and enjoy my first few days at school? -- NERVOUS IN CHEYENNE

DEAR NERVOUS: Absolutely. Just remind yourself that every single student who will be entering seventh grade with you is probably experiencing similar feelings. If you get lost looking for a classroom, a teacher or someone else will be glad to help you find your way. It won't be difficult to meet new people because they'll be all around you, and everyone in your grade will be in the same boat.

P.S. You wouldn't have been assigned to advanced classes if you weren't up to the workload. So, trust me, and relax.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is starting to seriously embarrass me. He has to relieve himself almost every time he walks outside. We have a truck sitting in our yard, and when we have company he walks behind it to do his business. He says it "saves water." What? A nickel's worth?

Our 14-year-old son is starting to do the same thing. He can be walking down the street and stop to pee by the side of the road. It's impossible to correct him when his dad does it, too.

How do I fix this? I have tried talking to them, but it doesn't work. -- TEED OFF IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TEED OFF: Not knowing your husband, I can't determine whether he's "marking his turf" or has trouble controlling his bladder. If your husband's behavior started recently, inform his doctor. He should be checked from stem to stern because he could have a medical problem.

As to your son, he is imitating his dad. Depending on the laws in your community regarding exposing oneself and public urination, he could get himself in trouble. So please impress upon him that what he's doing is not only socially unacceptable but also could have a negative impact on his future, and you want it stopped immediately.

DEAR ABBY: After years of soul-searching I have finally realized that I'm an atheist. I am happy with that realization and at peace with myself.

One minor thing, though, has been baffling me. When expressing compassion, usually in letters or other written form, I see the phrase, "My thoughts and prayers are with you." I like the phrase, but cannot in good conscience state an outright lie when I know I won't pray.

Can you think of any non-religious alternative that I can use? I feel that using "My thoughts are with you" alone is missing something. -- JILL IN MICHIGAN

DEAR JILL: I disagree. The phrase "My thoughts are with you" is direct and sincere. If you think you must add more, describe the emotions you are feeling, i.e., "I miss you," "I hope you're feeling better soon" or, "Please know you're always in my heart." In other words, tailor your words to the occasion and the person to whom they are directed.