DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old woman who has been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend, "Ian," for three years. I attend a university out of the country, so our relationship is mostly long-distance. We are in love and have discussed a future after I graduate. Ian says I'm the reason he has goals and wants to live a meaningful life.
Every now and then he says he's afraid that he is holding me back -- that because I'm so committed to him I am missing out on some of the most important experiences I could have at the university. I have told Ian I'm happy with what we have and wouldn't trade it. If I wasn't with him, I would probably see other men, but more sexual freedom wouldn't make me happier. All my single friends say they would rather have what I have.
Our relationship means far more to me than the odd fling would. Ian says he has no desire to be with other women, but he's afraid I don't know what I want because I haven't had experience with other men. How can I convince him that this is what I really want? -- DECISIVE IN SCOTLAND
DEAR DECISIVE: Tell your boyfriend that while some women may enjoy quantity, you have an eye for quality, and he is the grand prize you have waited for all your life. Then tell him you're a one-man woman, and he's stuck with you. (This should do the trick, unless he's projecting his own feelings of ambivalence onto you.)