DEAR ABBY: Tomorrow is Memorial Day. Please invite your millions of readers to observe the National Moment of Remembrance by pausing wherever they are at 3 p.m. in honor of our fallen.

Memorial Day (first called Decoration Day) began in 1868 to remember those killed in the Civil War. Since World War I, Memorial Day has been a time to honor all those who have died in service to our nation, from the Revolutionary War to the present.

To unite the country in remembrance, Congress officially established the National Moment of Remembrance in 2000. This act of unity is a time of reflection and commitment to honor America's fallen. More than a million men and women have died for our freedom. Their sacrifices for us live on in each constitutional right we enjoy.

On Memorial Day, Major League Baseball games will stop, Amtrak trains will blow their whistles, and 6,200 Buglers Across America will play "Taps," while citizens everywhere pause to honor those who sacrificed for our freedoms.

The National Moment of Remembrance is a small down payment in our debt to remember these precious souls. -- CARMELLA LA SPADA, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, WHITE HOUSE COMMISSION ON REMEMBRANCE

DEAR CARMELLA: I hope my readers will take your letter to heart. Each of the men and women who laid down their lives for this country was someone loved and cherished by family and friends. They are deeply missed. We are all diminished by their deaths, as indeed, we are enriched by the example of their courage and dedication.

DEAR ABBY: When I was growing up in the late '60s and '70s, I heard very little profanity used. Today it seems like it is accepted. My husband often uses it, even though he knows I hate it.

When he's mad at me, the filth is directed my way. That may be why profanity upsets me so much. Sometimes it makes me literally sick to my stomach.

Also, the most recent book by my favorite author includes many instances of the "F-word," which she has never done before. I'm tempted to write her and say that I read her for pleasure and am put off by the language. Should I? -- NON-CUSSER IN NEBRASKA

DEAR NON-CUSSER: When filth is directed at someone, it qualifies as verbal abuse, a weapon used to show contempt and destroy another person's sense of self-worth. Of course, what it shows is that the swearer, besides being a bully, isn't smart enough to come up with vocabulary that adequately describes his (or her) feelings powerfully enough to have them appreciated.

Because the verbal abuse your husband hurls at you is so hurtful it literally sickens you, it's time for you to take a closer look at why you continue to tolerate it. And as to your favorite author, by all means write and tell her that as a loyal reader you thought her last book was a real turn-off and why.

DEAR ABBY: If someone says, "I owe you an apology," but says nothing more, is that an apology? If an apology is "owed," shouldn't the person say, "I'm sorry"? -- STILL MIFFED IN OCEANSIDE, CALIF.

DEAR STILL MIFFED: When someone says, "I owe you an apology," it is an admission of guilt, not an apology. What you have described is a half-hearted, "miserly" effort to make amends. The apology is implied, but not clearly stated, and frankly, I can see why you're still miffed.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old stepson has problems getting up for school on time. My wife and I are split on what we should do about it.

I maintain that he's old enough to be responsible for getting himself up for school and should suffer the consequences if he's late. She thinks I should get him up. She works the late shift, which means I have to call him several times before he actually gets up. What do you think? -- STEPDAD IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR STEPDAD: If your stepson is having trouble prying himself out of bed in the mornings, it may be that he's not getting enough sleep and should go to bed earlier. And your wife needs to consider what will happen to him when you are no longer around to extract her son from between the sheets. That's why it's important to start training him NOW.

Buy a clock with a loud, annoying alarm, which should be placed in the farthest corner of his room from the bed, which will force him to get up in order to turn the darned thing off.

DEAR ABBY: Last summer, I cringed when I saw a neighbor cutting his lawn with a push mower and allowing his 3-year-old son to walk behind the mower to "help" him push. All the while, the mother stood nearby, smiling at the "father-and-son moment."

A few days later, I saw an 8-year-old boy cutting his lawn with a riding mower, with no adult in sight.

Abby, please remind parents that a lawn mower is a powerful, potentially dangerous machine. According to a study published in a children's medical journal, more than 9,000 children are injured by lawn mowers each year. Not only is there the obvious danger of the mower blades, children can also suffer severe burns from touching hot mower parts. In addition, projectiles can fly backward and cut or blind a child should a mower strike an object.

When the lawn mower is operating, the proper place for children is inside the house. -- CONCERNED NEIGHBOR, DUNWOODY, GA.

DEAR NEIGHBOR: Thank you for the timely reminder. Sometimes the most innocent of actions can have unintended consequences. Spring has sprung, bringing with it all the joys --and chores -- of the "growing" season. When a lawn mower is running, children -- and pets -- should not be in the vicinity.

DEAR ABBY: With the passing of our parents, as well as childless aunts and uncles, my husband and I have accumulated many special items such as an old family Bible, military memorabilia, photos of pets, etc.

Our departed dear ones are missed and loved, but we don't know what to do with a lot of these things. It feels disrespectful not to keep them. Have you any suggestions on how we can relieve the clutter as well as the guilt -- and feel OK about it? -- CLUTTERED BUT CARING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR CLUTTERED BUT CARING: Although you have been blessed to be the repository of so many family keepsakes, sometimes an overabundance of "things" can become a burden. When that happens, it's time to take stock and share some of the items with others who can appreciate them.

The Bible and photos should be offered to your state historical society. The military memorabilia could prove to be valuable if you have it appraised by someone who deals in it. The rest could be placed for sale in a consignment store or thrift shop.

Please don't feel guilty about it. It's actually an act of generosity.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is 66 and has had two major epileptic seizures. The incidents occurred in the middle of the night, and each time she was unconscious for a long time (45 minutes or more) and was taken to the emergency room by ambulance. She also has "minor" seizures that last only 30 to 60 seconds. I have seen them.

Her doctor has told her not to drive and that it's against the law in our state for her to drive until she has been seizure-free for six months. The problem is, Mom and her husband believe she can drive safely. She even bought a new car so she can get "better gas mileage."

I have offered to take Mom to doctors and other appointments, etc. She allows me to, but still drives herself to the grocery store and hairdresser and other places because they are "close by." (Not!)

Abby, I lost a brother in a car accident. I don't want to lose my mother in one, too. I'm also afraid for the safety of pedestrians and other drivers in her path. What can I do or say to get Mom to follow the doctor's orders? -- WORRIED IN THE WEST

DEAR WORRIED: Nothing. Because your mother refuses to use common sense or listen to reason, accept that talking to her is like talking to a wall.

A person doesn't have to have a major seizure to cause an accident. A blackout lasting a few seconds can cause a driver to lose control of a vehicle.

If your mother's physician isn't aware that she hasn't been complying with his or her instructions, let the doctor know. Write a letter explaining that you have seen her having minor seizures and that she's still driving. Urge him (or her) to notify the Department of Motor Vehicles, and you should do the same. The more time that goes by without this being dealt with, the greater the chances your mother could kill herself or kill or maim an innocent person who happens to cross her path at the wrong time.

DEAR ABBY: I am 14 years old and aware of what is going on in the world around me. My parents have owned a successful company for years, but with the economy in its current state, our family is having a tough time. We live a luxurious life and I am very blessed, but we have begun to give things up. I am fine with that.

My parents have changed. If I ask how things are, they get mad at me. If I tell them I don't need something, such as a present for my birthday, they ask me why and I tell them, "I know we don't have money to spend right now." Then they say, "We have money, but it's in the bank and is only for emergencies such as an illness."

How can I convince my parents that it is OK to tell me what is going on, and that we should go through it as a family? -- TEEN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TEEN: It is the instinct of every parent to protect his or her child. That may be what your parents are trying to do when you raise the sensitive subjects of "how things are" and birthday gifts. What they may not realize is that you are no longer a child, and the questions and statements you are making are a reflection of your anxiety.

As stressful as the current economic environment may be, fear of the unknown can be even worse. By telling you they are not out of funds but being careful about how they will be spent, your parents have already taken the first step in letting you know what's going on, but now they need to fill in more of the blanks. Please tell them that that's what I suggest.

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