DEAR ABBY: My wife is a vegetarian, but I am not. We agreed to raise our children as vegetarians until they could make that decision for themselves.

My children are now 6 and 10 and have indicated that they no longer want to be vegetarians. The older child is particularly frustrated that she's not allowed to eat such things as pasta sauce or soup that contains beef or chicken stock.

However, my wife is now reneging on our agreement. She says the kids aren't old enough to make such a decision, and she's refusing to set an age when they can do so.

I don't think we, as parents, should impose our preferences on our kids and deny them what they want. Am I wrong? -- MASSACHUSETTS CARNIVORE

DEAR CARNIVORE: Are you kidding? Parents impose their preferences on their children all the time, and for as long as they can.

Your wife may be right that the kids should refrain from eating meat and meat products, but she is being heavy-handed and going about it in the wrong way. Unless she is prepared to stand over them 24/7, there is no way she can prevent them from eating meat if they are determined to do so.

What she can do is make sure they understand why she is a staunch vegetarian and why she would prefer that they remain that way. But there's no guarantee that they will -- particularly if she permits this to become a power struggle.

DEAR ABBY: You have always encouraged your readers to stay informed and be prepared. That's why we are writing you on behalf of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration's Office of Women's Health (OWH) and WomenHeart to share with you and your readers our new, free Heart Health Kit for women and their families.

Heart disease is the leading cause of death among American women, but we can all take steps to protect ourselves. That's why the OWH and WomenHeart have teamed up to create this must-have kit. It features information on major topics that are essential to keeping your heart healthy -- including high blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes and stroke. It also includes tips for women on recognizing the warning signs of a heart attack, which can be different from those experienced by men.

Abby, thank you for informing your readers about this serious issue, and please alert them to place their orders now because supplies are limited. -- KATHLEEN UHL, M.D., ASSISTANT COMMISSIONER FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH, FDA; LISA TATE, CEO, NATIONAL COALITION FOR WOMEN WITH HEART DISEASE

DEAR KATHLEEN AND LISA: My readers' well-being is important to me, and I'm pleased to help get the word out.

In today's stressful environment, reliable health information is something we can never have too much of -- and in this case it is being offered absolutely free of charge. So when you order your Heart Health Kit, don't forget your mothers, sisters, aunts and close friends, and order one for them, too.

For the fastest service, the kits can be ordered online at www.pueblo.gsa.gov. If you don't have online access, send your name and address to Heart Health Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009, or call toll-free (888) 878-3256 weekdays 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern time and ask for the kit. Remember, quantities are limited, so if you're interested in this free offer, don't delay -- order today.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a secondary school teacher and would like to comment on the letter from "Sports Dad Down South" (Feb. 9) about his teenaged, athletic star son.

That boy has an ego problem that is out of control. I see it in the classroom every day. Many successful athletes think that only the "little" people have to do class work, be on time to class and complete homework. They have the best relationships with their coaches who "intervene" on the athlete's behalf, regardless of behavior and effort -- soliciting "help" for a student who often does not deserve it.

I have watched an athlete's arrogance fed daily by those who attach the kid's value as a person to the level of his performance at that evening's game. Abby, I hope that "Sports Dad's" stellar-performing son eventually will recognize that other influences are shallow and lack the depth of his father's love. -- TEXAS TEACHER WHO KNOWS

DEAR TEACHER: Thank you for writing. I heard from many other teachers, administrators and parents -- all eager to share what they have learned in dealing with teens who are high achievers in sports. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am also the parent of a talented athlete. He was popular in high school, great in football and basketball, and was wooed to university with a scholarship in hand. The problem was, in spite of our urging to buckle down and study, he admitted to us on high school graduation night that he had cheated the whole way through. Now at 21, he has thrown away his scholarship, quit the university, and is wandering around wondering why he was never picked up by the NFL.

Somewhere in high school, amid all the accolades, our son lost touch with reality. Please advise "Sports Dad" to not give up on his son while he still has a chance, and to impress upon him how important hard work and discipline are. -- MOM IN MOURNING

DEAR ABBY: We have stressed to our college baseball star son that no matter how successful any athlete is, there will come a time when he or she retires from their beloved sport. Not everyone makes it to the pros, and not all those who do have longevity or stunning success in the sport.

Questions the youngster must consider are: (1) What will he do when he is not playing anymore? (2) How is he going to help his community and society with his talent? And most important (3) what will he do if, God forbid, he is injured?

Having an idea of what he loves besides sports is very helpful. That will help "Dad" steer him into a college and major that fit. -- BASEBALL MAMA IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR ABBY: To "Sports Dad": The fact that a 17-year-old finds your limits a problem can be a good thing, depending on how unrealistic his attitude is. His dislike of your parental positions can mean you are doing a good job. Kids really do not respect a doormat. He can have many friends, but he has only one dad. -- KATHY IN METAIRIE, LA.

DEAR ABBY: Has it occurred to "Sports Dad" to investigate the possibility that his son's behavior might be caused by steroids? -- KATE IN ATLANTA

DEAR ABBY: That father and son remind me of a saying I heard years ago: "When they are 5 years old, they have all the questions. When they are 17, they have all the answers." I've found out through the years that this isn't far from reality. -- BURL IN DALLAS, N.C.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: My wife thinks it's funny when she hits me. The other day I was splitting some wood and decided to take a break. I began driving golf balls into the field. She came out, grabbed the club out of my hands and whacked me in the leg with it. When I asked her why, she said, "Get back to work!" and started laughing. I was left with a large welt and a big bruise.

Another time she bought some king crab legs for dinner. When I asked her if she was serving anything else with them, she picked up a crab claw and hit me in the forehead with it. She thought it was funny. I ended up in the emergency room with three stitches.

Last night, I was trying to add up our bills on the computer. She walked in and smacked me in the chin with the keyboard. She said I should be able to do the bills on paper like a normal person.

We have been together nine years, married for three. I love her with all my heart, but I'm getting tired of her little "jokes." How can I approach her? I want her to know how I feel, but I'm afraid to offend her or make her angry. -- FRUSTRATED IN OREGON

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Why are you afraid to speak your mind? Are you afraid she'll hit you again? Your wife has a sadistic sense of humor and enjoys seeing you in pain. Unless you draw the line, she will cause you serious injury.

Regardless of how much you love her, for your own safety you should get the heck out of there. What you have described is a form of spousal abuse, and it will escalate. That's why I'm urging you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The toll-free number is (800) 799-7233. The counselors there offer guidance to women AND men who are being abused by their spouse or partner.

Another organization, SAFE (Stop Abuse for Everyone), also assists victims of abuse regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation. Its Web site is www.safe4all.org.

DEAR ABBY: I stole a large sum of money from the company I worked for and was fired. I agreed to work out a repayment plan for all the money I owe.

Although I feel extremely lucky about the outcome, I also feel a great deal of remorse and shame for what I did. My career is probably shot to hell, my former co-workers have lost their trust in me and I can't seem to move forward with my life. I know what I did was wrong, and I am deeply sorry for it.

How do I forgive myself for what happened and get past it? I have contemplated suicide because of the pain and guilt I have experienced and for other problems in my life. -- LOST AND ASHAMED IN CHICAGO

DEAR LOST AND ASHAMED: You are going through what some people euphemistically refer to as "a rough patch." Yes, you have made some poor choices, but you are also doing the best you can to make restitution. Suicide is not the answer. Paying back the money is. Once that's done you will feel much better about yourself.

Frankly, it's time you started being a little kinder to yourself. You have beaten yourself up enough, and the last thing you need in addition is a public flogging. However, if the suicidal thoughts persist, the toll-free number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is (800) 784-2433.