DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago, my family and I went to one of our favorite restaurants for lunch. Afterward, I glanced at the check, gave my credit card to the server, signed the receipt and left.

That night I looked at the receipt before filing it away and noticed that the first item listed was for a beer that we hadn't ordered. It was not my check! My daughter suggested that I look at my credit card, and the card wasn't mine, either.

I immediately phoned the credit card company and was told my card had been used for 10 other purchases. They canceled it immediately and said a new card was on the way. In the meantime, my daughter phoned every hotel in the area and eventually located the person who had my card. He was dumbfounded when he looked at the card in his possession and realized it wasn't his.

Please remind your readers that they need to keep an eye on their credit cards and advise employers to do a better job of training their employees. I failed to look at my card in the restaurant when it was returned to me. Not one vendor from whom a purchase was made examined the name on the card and the signature. I admit I made an error, but it was compounded by a multitude of individuals along the way. -- ALFRED ON MAUI

DEAR ALFRED: Thank you for the reminder about how important it is to take a moment to check to ensure that the credit card you are handed back is your own. It is also wise to carefully review the restaurant tab when it arrives because mistakes can happen -- as I have learned from personal experience.

One day, my husband and I were having a light brunch at a neighborhood restaurant. When our bill came -- it was for $22.30 -- my husband looked at it as he always does. When the credit card receipt was handed to him for his signature, he looked at it, exclaimed, "This is the most expensive brunch we've ever had!" and passed it to me. We had been charged $2,230. When he showed the receipt to the owner, the man immediately went to the cashier -- who informed him that a key had "stuck" when she tried to push it.

Many establishments encourage their servers to address customers by name when they bring a check to the table. Not only is it friendlier, it can also avert a mix-up. However, a restaurant should not be blamed entirely for a screw-up like this one because the ultimate responsibility lies with the person being handed the credit card. Because many of them look alike, the better part of wisdom is to check to ensure it is your own before putting it away.

DEAR ABBY: I have been invited to a bridal shower for my future sister-in-law and her sister. They are both being married, and a "joint shower" is being held for them. I have never met my future sister-in-law's sister. Should I buy a gift for her, even though I don't know her? -- SHOWER FOR TWO

DEAR SHOWER FOR TWO: To buy your future sister-in-law's sister a token gift would be a warm and generous way to acknowledge that she is becoming a member of your extended family. Are you obligated to do it? No. Should you do it anyway? Mm-hmm. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Seth," and I are in our mid-20s and have been dating for seven years. We have a solid relationship, but I need your thoughts on something: He insists on cleaning up after everyone right under their noses.

We were recently invited to watch a basketball game at a friend's home. Appetizers were provided over the course of several hours. People kept losing their cups and plates because Seth "thought they were done" and threw the items away.

Abby, he was doing this in a house he had never visited before with people he had never met! He also does it with family instead of sitting and relaxing after the meal and enjoying the conversation. When we eat at a restaurant, Seth will pile up our plates and silverware as soon as he thinks I'm done "to make it easier for the server to clean up."

Clearing the table was not a chore my boyfriend was assigned as a child, nor is he overly concerned with neatness in other areas of his life. He's not shy around people, so he isn't keeping busy to avoid conversation.

He says he is being polite. I say he could volunteer to help tidy up at the end of a party, but he shouldn't touch other people's eating utensils in the middle of an event. What do you think? -- DATING MR. CLEAN IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DATING MR. CLEAN: It appears you are dating a frustrated busboy. I don't know where your boyfriend got the idea that picking up other people's dinnerware without first asking if they are finished is polite -- because it isn't. In fact, it's rude.

I am also not as convinced as you are that your boyfriend is comfortable making conversation because he appears to be fixated on making "busy work" on social occasions -- which could be an indication that he feels socially awkward.

DEAR ABBY: I am a hardworking CPA, recovering from another busy tax season. Along with my colleagues, I become a little crazed during that frantic time of year. May I share some tips with your readers so next year their appointments will go more smoothly?

1. Feel free to answer your cell phone during our appointment. I have nothing else to do, so please don't be concerned that you're taking up extra time.

2. Do bring your small children along. Yes, they may be bored, but I love entertaining them instead of giving you my full attention.

3. By all means drop by without an appointment to ask a question. So what if I'm talking to another client! I don't mind dropping what I'm doing to talk to you because, again, I'm not busy.

4. There is no need to expect to pay for our services when you pick up your tax return. After all, it's not like buying a gallon of milk. And be assured I don't mind putting your return ahead of all the others because you need your refund to go to the Caribbean. Of course you are more important than the conscientious clients who got their information here ahead of you.

5. The remaining 95 percent of my clients are a joy to work with, so don't forget what put you in that 5 percent. -- RECUPERATING IN ALABAMA

DEAR RECUPERATING: Your frustration is understandable, particularly since tax season has just ended, and I love your dry sense of humor. But any CPA who posted your "tips" would probably wind up working for tips.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a nanny and have been for three years. The 10-year-old girl I work with is wonderful, and I love her dearly. Her parents are not abusive, but they are caught up in their own lives. They devote very little time or effort to their daughter.

The only thing my employers ever talk to her about is school (she's an A student) and academics. When they are home they spend very little time with her. They never buy her even tiny gifts "just because" -- only when she brings home A's does she get gifts. Of course she is upset by this. She confides in me, to the point of tears.

How can I get her parents to take an active role in her life? I know better than to tell a parent how to be a parent, but they are slowly scarring their daughter and making her resent them. I know they love her, but their parenting makes her feel unlovable. -- NANNY IN NEW YORK

DEAR NANNY: Loneliness is the ultimate poverty. For all of her financial advantages, that girl is emotionally starved and for good reason. Her parents appear to be so self-involved they give her only the bare minimum and have handed that "chore" off to you. I'm sad to say what they are doing will have ramifications for their daughter in the future.

Whether you can change their pattern of behavior is open to question. You can try by telling them their daughter "needs more of them" and suggest that ALL of you spend an afternoon/evening together occasionally, so the unaccustomed "burden" won't be too heavy for them. But if they can't or won't devote the time, she should be involved in extracurricular activities that will get her out of the house -- things like sports and classes in music, dance, drama, etc. -- which will give her more positive feedback and less time to brood.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a junior in high school and have never had any romantic experience. It wasn't a big deal when I was a freshman, but now as the prom approaches, I'm starting to get anxious about the possibility of being dateless.

My friend "Terri" says you don't have to have a date, but I am still skeptical. Although it might be fun going with Terri and other friends, who am I supposed to share a slow dance with? I'd feel awkward sitting there while everyone else danced. And I would feel uncomfortable if a guy I didn't know asked me to dance.

If I give up on the idea of going, I might miss a special night, but could also be avoiding a potentially embarrassing situation. What's your advice? -- UNDECIDED TEEN

DEAR UNDECIDED: Stop worrying about what "might" happen, go to the prom with your friends and keep an open mind. If you aren't asked to dance, look around and you'll probably see others who haven't been asked, either. Talk to them. I'm sure they'll be glad for the company.

If someone you don't know asks you to dance, it means he thinks you're attractive. That's a compliment. So smile, be polite and dance with him. If he's not your dream partner, remember it's only a dance -- not a marriage proposal.

Unless you're willing to take some risks and put yourself out there, you will never get any romantic experience.