DEAR ABBY: When I was growing up, my parents had a framed poem from your column hanging on our kitchen wall. None of us kids could miss it because it was right next to the telephone. Before we moved out to start families of our own, Mom gave each of us framed copies of it to remind us of family values.

Won't you please run it again for your readers? The title of the poem was "Success." Young couples today would find it as beneficial as my parents did. It worked for my sisters and brothers and me. -- MIMI IN LOS ANGELES

DEAR MIMI: I'm glad to oblige. The poem, which was penned by Martin Buxbaum, is included in my "Keepers" booklet, which is a collection of favorite letters, poems and essays that have appeared in this column over the years. It was assembled because so many readers said the items were meaningful to them, and requested that they be compiled as a booklet. Read on:

SUCCESS

You can use most any measure

When you're speaking of success.

You can measure it in fancy home,

Expensive car or dress.

But the measure of your real success

Is the one you cannot spend.

It's the way your kids describe you

When they're talking to a friend.

The booklet is titled "Keepers" because so many Dear Abby readers kept the poems, essays and letters to re-read. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

"Keepers" covers subjects from temptation to forgiveness, animals, children and human nature. Filled with down-to-earth nuggets of wisdom, both witty and philosophical, it's a quick and easy read, and an inexpensive, welcome gift for newlyweds, pet lovers, new parents or anyone recovering from an illness because it touches on a variety of subjects.

DEAR ABBY: My single, 40-year-old cousin, "Gail," has two teenage daughters. Four years ago she built a beautiful three-bedroom house that she has never moved into. Instead, she lives with her mother and stepdad in a rundown farmhouse where her girls share a bedroom.

Gail's mother is afraid to ask her to move out, and the rest of the family can't understand why she would allow her house to stand empty. Let me add that Gail has an annual salary of almost six figures.

What's wrong with this woman? -- PERPLEXED COUSIN IN N.Y.

DEAR PERPLEXED COUSIN: Which woman? The mother or the daughter? I suggest that you ask them that question.

DEAR ABBY: Your answer to "Frustrated Mom in Virginia" (Jan. 5) was on the money. There could be a wide range of reasons for her son's "shortcomings."

I can say from personal experience that it is never too late to get her son diagnosed. I am an ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) adult, whose mother mistakenly believed that being "on my case" would lessen my frequent errors. However, no matter how hard you try to learn from your mistakes, when your mind is going 100 miles an hour and thinking of 10 different things at the same time, errors are repeated.

"Frustrated's" son may appear not to care because, in part, he feels that no matter what he does, he will still fail. When I began to develop physical symptoms from the stress, my mother was told she needed to back off. I know how hard it was for my mom -- an organized person with strong attention to details -- to have a child like me who was the exact opposite.

That young man needs strategies to help improve his life, as I did. There is so much more knowledge and research than there was when I was a child. "Frustrated" should not blame herself but, like her son, she needs help, too. -- E.P. IN GARRISONVILLE, VA.

DEAR E.P.: You are among many caring readers who wanted to share their experiences with "Frustrated Mom" as a way to provide an explanation for her son's behavior. However, a psychological or neurological disorder is something that can be determined only by a physician. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am an occupational therapist, and it sounds like this young man could have Sensory Processing Disorder. It is common for people with this disorder to have difficulty grading their movements, i.e., using too much force, slamming doors instead of closing them. They also have difficulty recognizing personal space.

I suggest that the mother have her son evaluated by an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory integration. If he has SPD, their lives will change dramatically through intervention and education. -- THERAPIST IN WINTER GARDEN, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old son displays similar behavior. Asperger's syndrome is often overlooked because its symptoms can be so mild that behavior otherwise appears normal.

A common symptom is lack of personal space awareness, or the person may appear to be rude or insensitive. The lack of remorse after clumsily bumping into someone is also indicative of the emotional/social disconnect (lack of empathy) that is associated with this disorder.

The behavior can be especially frustrating because it appears the otherwise "normal" person is inconsiderate, thoughtless or unfeeling. "Frustrated" should have her son evaluated for Asperger's. -- EMPATHETIC DAD IN SPRINGFIELD, MASS.

DEAR ABBY: Last year my 8-year-old son was exhibiting symptoms of ADD/ADHD -- constantly losing things, fidgeting, lack of concentration, along with a wide range of other annoying behaviors. He was hospitalized and referred to occupational therapy by a therapist who recognized his symptoms as being part of Sensory Integration Disorder.

I am happy to tell you that after almost a year of OT, we have discovered ways to make his life easier by understanding what sensory input he needs. Being able to fulfill my son's sensory needs has helped with his clumsiness, forgetfulness and lack of attention, and he no longer displays signs of ADHD. Such a simple remedy to a very troublesome problem. There is hope. -- A MOTHER IN BEND, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: I am a new mom who works in a high-tech start-up company that does not provide a mother's room. I'm the first employee here to have a baby. The corporate plaza in which my office is located also doesn't provide one. Therefore, I must resort to using the restroom to pump my breast milk, which must be done every few hours.

Some of the women using the restroom have wondered aloud about the "weird noise" they hear, while others walk back and forth searching for the source of the "sound."

How should I respond to them? Using the restroom is not my choice, but it is the only option I have because I plan to breast-feed my baby for as long as I can. -- PRIVACY PLEASE IN SANTA CLARA, CALIF.

DEAR PRIVACY PLEASE: You're reacting as if pumping breast milk is something to be ashamed of. It isn't. While you may be the first woman at the company to have given birth, I guarantee you won't be the last. So start communicating with the other female co-workers. It might be in all of your best interests to bring this to the attention of your supervisor or your boss.

And as to the "pacers" and "wonderers" in the restroom -- try to understand that they are merely curious. Consider printing a sign you can tape to the door of the stall you occupy that reads: "Breast Pumping Station." It will stop the questions and save you from yelling out, "It's my breast pump!"

DEAR ABBY: I was a stay-at-home mom for many years and enrolled in college when my youngest entered kindergarten. I held various part-time (and later full-time) dead-end jobs to supplement my husband's income. It took 15 years, but I finally graduated with a B.A. in history, although I have since discovered there isn't much I can do with my degree.

After almost 30 years of marriage, my husband decided he wanted a divorce. I am now on my own and struggling to survive. I have no marketable skills, can't afford to attend school full-time because I must work in order to have benefits, and don't have the money to pay for more training without going into further debt. I don't know how I'll ever be self-supporting.

My current job pays $10 an hour, the benefits are good, but I don't really like my job or see myself ever earning a higher hourly wage. If it wasn't for alimony, I'd be even worse off, but that won't last forever. (I have three years left.)

I'm thankful that my kids are on their own and don't need my support, but they can't help me either. What options are there for someone in my situation? -- FRUSTRATED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are an educated, literate, mature college graduate. You could make some executive an excellent, competent personal assistant. Depending upon what the requirements are in your state, you might also be able to be a teacher's assistant in one of the schools.

Contact an employment agency and ask if it can give you a skill assessment. I am sure you could find a job where your attributes would be appreciated if you start looking.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)