DEAR ABBY: My heart is broken. I don't know how to fix it, and sometimes I want to kill myself. I'm in love with my children's father and he knows it. "Brad" comes over to have sex with me, but we're not together. He tells me he's single, but I know he's with someone else. I want him to be honest -- give me that much respect -- because I have two kids by him.
Brad is the only person I'm having sex with. I told him I'm getting too old to play games. I'm trying to get on with my life, but still we have sex.
When do I say enough is enough? I tell Brad I need to drop the kids off, and he tells me no. But I need some alone time, too. If I had known our relationship would turn out like this, I would never have gotten involved with him. I love him with all my heart. Please tell me what to do. -- HEARTSICK IN KANSAS
DEAR HEARTSICK: For the sake of your mental health and for your children's future, wake up and realize that you are not "in love" with Brad. You're in love with the fantasy of who you would LIKE him to be.
The person you have described is immature, a liar and so selfish he doesn't care who is hurt by his behavior -- not you and not his children. He will never change. Allowing this man in your life is fruitless, and you will not become stronger until you finally accept that fact.
If you haven't already done so, contact the social services department in your state to ensure that Brad contributes something to the children's care. If you need alone time, trade favors with another single mother or a trusted friend or family member. But please, do not continue on the path you're on because it's leading you nowhere.