DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Brandy," and I have been living together for about six months. Whenever she has any free time, she's out with her sister or one of her friends.
I am not a needy person, but I yearn for a little affection. Brandy quit her job, and I pay all the bills. I have been paying the bills for three months now, and it hurts me to the bone that she doesn't want to spend time with me. I see no reason why she wouldn't say thanks once in a while or show me some affection.
I must admit that I messed up with her a while ago, before she moved in. When we first started living together, Brandy would sit on my lap while we watched TV and hold my hand every once in a while. But now she says the mess-up is the reason she's not affectionate with me. It almost sounds like an excuse.
I am considering moving back home, but I love her very much. I'd like to work this out. I don't know what to do because every time I think about breaking up, I break down and cry. Help me! -- HURTING IN CORONA, N.Y.
DEAR HURTING: Grab another hankie, because you may need one. Brandy may have been in love with you when you first began living together, but it appears the passion has cooled. While there is an ebb and flow to most relationships, the fact that Brandy prefers to spend her free time with others sends a strong message -- especially when it is coupled with the fact that she no longer wants to be close or show affection.
You must ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want to be involved in for the long term. From my perspective, it appears to lack some important qualities. Repairing the relationship will take some effort on Brandy's part. But if the romance is over, painful or not, you should face it and go home.