DEAR ABBY: I consider myself to be a nice, normal person. I know how to make interesting, intelligent conversation that can engage just about anyone. When I go out socially, I often meet people and we hit it off.

Typically, by the end of the conversation, there comes a point where it is decided -- usually by the other person -- that we exchange information, which includes phone numbers and e-mail addresses. I generally wait a few days before calling, or until an occasion arises to invite the person to participate with me.

When I call or e-mail, I always leave a message, but I almost never get a response back. Sometimes I wait to see if the person I just met calls me first, but it never happens.

Do people just pretend to be interested in me, or am I fooling myself? Or are they just too busy to make the effort to have another friend? I don't understand it. Am I missing something? -- BLOWN OFF IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR BLOWN OFF: What you have described happens frequently -- usually when someone wants to end a conversation on a positive note. The failure to follow through can be for a variety of reasons -- busy schedule, lack of interest, met someone else, changed their mind.

But if this is happening more than 90 percent of the time, it's time to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you come on too strong, or keep the people you meet involved in "interesting, intelligent conversation" so long they feel the need to get away. My advice is to ask someone you trust whether this could be a possibility.

DEAR ABBY: Is there such a thing as a "quarter life" crisis? Ever since I completed my undergraduate degree, I feel like I have lost something great and can't seem to find my way. My professors were the only family I had.

I have moved to a new school and started a new job, and I feel extremely unsure about what I'm doing. I feel lost without the support of my professors. How do people make it through this transition without the assistance of family and friends? Is this normal, or am I the only one who feels this way? -- SEARCHING FOR MY PATH

DEAR SEARCHING: Your feelings are normal. You are a fledgling who has left a protective nest. You are now learning to fly on your own power.

Join some of the clubs at your new school, and spend some time getting to know your co-workers. New relationships take time to cultivate, but in a few months you will feel more at home in your new surroundings.

DEAR ABBY: Is there something wrong with the fact that I don't like to entertain? I don't even like having people over at my house. My husband likes to barbecue and invite others to come over. Am I wrong -- or am I a snob? -- ENOUGH ON MY PLATE

DEAR ENOUGH: Neither one. You may be socially recessive or an introvert. But because you married someone who is an extrovert, you will have to learn to compromise. If this is too difficult for you, please consider counseling to help you work through your social anxieties.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: I need some serious advice. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a year ago. My condition is stable. I have taken the necessary precautions such as dietary changes, exercise and prescription medications.

My husband and I have been married eight years. This is my second marriage and his third. My husband is a very stubborn man. Once he makes a decision he stands by it until death.

He has recently announced that should I become incapacitated and unable to perform my "wifely duties," he is going to find a "sex buddy." What should I do about this announcement? -- WIFE IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR WIFE: I can't imagine an announcement that would cool a woman's ardor faster than the one your husband made to you. You say that "once he makes a decision he stands by it until death." Remind him that when you were married he promised to be faithful to you until death do you part. From my perspective, your husband appears to be a self-serving hypocrite, and you need to decide if that's the kind of person you want to live with for the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Logan," recently proposed. I gladly accepted. Logan is a little timid about announcing the fact that we are engaged. He's afraid of what people will think because we have only been together for seven months.

What is the appropriate time frame for courting before becoming engaged? -- NEW FIANCEE, SELIGMAN, ARIZ.

DEAR NEW FIANCEE: It depends upon the ages and the level of life experience of the individuals involved. Smart couples wait to become engaged until they have seen each other under a variety of circumstances -- including some that are not pleasant. And after they do decide, they sign up for pre-marital counseling to make absolutely sure they agree on subjects like money management, how many children they want, and how they will be raised -- the "little" things that can make or break a marriage. Because Logan seems uncomfortable about revealing your engagement, the two of you may have jumped the gun.

And now, Dear Readers, I will continue the tradition of offering the Thanksgiving Prayer that was written by my dear mother, Pauline Phillips. No Thanksgiving would be complete for me without it:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank thee for food and

remember the hungry.

We thank thee for health and

remember the sick.

We thank thee for freedom and

remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir

us to service,

That thy gifts to us may be

used for others. Amen.

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Love, ABBY

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "All in Love Is Fair" (Oct. 1), asking your opinion about asking her boyfriend to pay for half the cost of her birth control pills, made me chuckle. I have been married for 28 years, but when my husband and I were going together, I paid for my birth control. One day when I was at the pharmacy and my birth control method went from the conveyer belt to the bagger, she remarked how expensive it was. I just smiled and said, "Not as expensive as a baby!" The checker cracked up. I think you gave the writer the correct answer. -- BEEN THERE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BEEN THERE: Thanks for your support, but we are definitely in the minority. I heard from one other reader who agreed with us. On the other hand, thousands of men and women wrote that my answer was sexist and outdated. Please forgive my lapse, folks. I admit that while my batting average may be pretty fair, I am not "pitch" perfect. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I preach equal responsibility for birth control to both my daughters and my son! Shame on you for telling "All in Love" that paying for birth control is only the woman's responsibility. It is the responsibility of both partners. Only when men are as concerned about preventing unwanted pregnancies as women will there be fewer unwanted (and often abused) children and single welfare mothers. Please rethink this. -- JEAN W., FORT COLLINS, COLO.

DEAR ABBY: It's bad enough that women usually have to deal with the birth control issue, but having to pay 100 percent of the cost is absurd. Men should kick in toward other forms of birth control, as they reap the benefits. Likewise, a woman should split the cost of condoms.

Perhaps "All in Love Is Fair" should tell her boyfriend it's now his turn to take care of the birth control and offer to split the cost of the vasectomy. -- REBECCA IN ATLANTA

DEAR ABBY: I work in the area of unintended pregnancy prevention. One of the biggest hurdles this country faces in tackling the problem is getting males to shoulder their responsibility in preventing unintended pregnancy. You have set the field back with your response.

Men who insist that birth control is solely the responsibility of the woman aren't mature enough to be having sex. If the boyfriend is unwilling to contribute toward preventing pregnancy, she should stop having sex with him. -- S.S. IN RICHMOND, VA.

DEAR ABBY: I agree with you that a personal prescription drug should not be a shared expense if it's for an illness. But pregnancy is not an illness. Not having children is the responsibility of both parties involved, just as having children is the responsibility of both. Please tell her "Don't pop the pill if he won't share the bill!" -- PAUL IN LA PORTE, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: When my boyfriend and I became sexually active in college, he went with me to Planned Parenthood and waited while I saw the doctor. He paid half the cost of the birth control device, saying, "This is for our pleasure together, and it protects us from becoming parents before we're ready. It's my responsibility, too." I knew right then that he really loved me, because he cared about my future.

That sweet, honorable boy grew up into a loving and supportive husband. We've been happily married almost 20 years. -- MARISSA IN PALO ALTO

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)