DEAR ABBY: Parental alienation is a topic I have never seen addressed in your column. It is a problem with many divorces involving children. I think my brother is a victim of it. He lives in a different state than his little boy, but pays child support.

Abby, his ex continuously harasses him via text messaging and late-night phone calls, accusing him of things she thinks happened when they were together. You'd think she hasn't moved on, but she has a new husband!

She agreed that my brother could call his son twice a week, but she rarely answers the phone during these scheduled "visits." She is now trying harder to keep my brother out of his son's life. She even told my nephew that the presents my brother sent him for Christmas came from her new husband!

My brother can't afford a lawyer right now, but he is moving to Florida in the near future and I would like to help him resolve this issue. What are your thoughts on parental alienation? -- FRUSTRATED SIS IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRUSTRATED SIS: The kind of anger, selfishness and vindictiveness you have described are unhealthy for everyone involved. Obviously, your former sister-in-law has not moved on. She's still stuck in trying to retaliate against your brother. She's expending the energy and attention she should be devoting to her new marriage and new husband to punishing her last one.

And as for your nephew, when a child grows up believing his father thought he was unimportant and expendable, it can negatively affect his sense of self-worth.

There is an effective resource available to your brother -- the Children's Rights Council (CRC). For many years this organization has worked to prevent children from being victimized by their parents' divorces, something which happens all too often. The CRC has 57 chapters in 37 states, and its Web site is www.crckids.org. Its president, David L. Levy, J.D., is a nationally known expert on children and edited "The Best Parent Is Both Parents" (Hampton Roads Publishing). Please advise your brother to contact this group.

DEAR ABBY: I met a woman online and have had several dates with her, including hikes to beautiful locations where I took some pictures of her with her camera. Now she has posted them on her dating profile.

I'm a little peeved about seeing photos I took displayed on her profile -- presumably to attract other men -- but I don't feel we're close enough yet to ask her to take them down.

Am I being too sensitive? She says she wants to continue dating others. Can you tell me what you think would be an appropriate response from me, if any? -- SHUTTERBUG IN KINGSPORT, TENN.

DEAR SHUTTERBUG: You and this lady have just met. If she wants to continue dating others, that's her privilege. That she is using pictures you took of her as part of her profile was a compliment to your skills, but also a signal that she is not particularly interested in you.

An appropriate response would be to tell her she hurt your feelings, and for you to continue dating other women because this one does not appear to be "The One."

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to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I work for a small, family-owned business. The owner has strong political views and insists on listening to a political talk show during the afternoon, with the volume turned up quite loud.

My boss assumes that his views are everyone else's and talks to customers as if his opinion is gospel. I have watched them roll their eyes and try to get away. I have worked here for three years, and I can't take it anymore. My co-workers say I can't say anything because he owns the business, and he can do whatever he wants. I have looked for another job, but this is a small town and jobs are scarce.

I think it's inappropriate to force one's political views on anyone, especially employees and customers. What's your take on this? -- FED UP IN NEW YORK

DEAR FED UP: I agree with you. However, all too often, zealous members of both parties are unable to resist the temptation to spout off -- especially during an election year. I don't know what business your employer is in, but if anyone else in your town performs the same service without the political arm-twisting, it could cost him some customers.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-boyfriend has cerebral palsy. I have loved him for more than a year, regardless of his condition. He broke up with me because he didn't think he could love someone if he didn't love himself.

We are still good friends and care for each other. He often asks me what he can do to feel better. What can I do to help him feel better about himself? -- HELPING A FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HELPING: Offer him this advice: The surest way to start feeling better would be to stop focusing on his disability and concentrate instead on his abilities. I'm sure he possesses many unique qualities that make him special -- and you can list them if you like. But until he is willing to recognize that he has those qualities, he won't accept it.

Counseling could help him tear down the barriers he is building around himself. Independent-living centers provide help for people with disabilities, and I'm sure one in your area could put him in touch with someone who is qualified to talk to him -- including a peer.

DEAR ABBY: I have had an on-again, off-again relationship with this guy, "Dustin," for more than five years. We are now "off" again, but I can't stop thinking about him.

I dream about Dustin quite often. It was my decision to end the relationship because I was tired of wasting my time. We get along well, but he lies and cheats. He calls and hangs up and texts me periodically, but I haven't spoken with him in more than two months.

I love Dustin dearly, and the love I feel for him never changes. Even though I am living without him, I can't help but wonder if he is really my soul mate. Is there really such a thing as a soul mate? -- LOST IN LOVE IN RIVERDALE, ILL.

DEAR LOST: The American Heritage College Dictionary (Fourth Edition) defines "soul mate" as "one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view or sensitivity" -- and, yes, there really is such a thing.

However, from your description of the way Dustin has treated you, this man is decidedly not it. Because you can't get him out of your head, Dustin qualifies as your obsession, not your soul mate.

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DEAR ABBY: A few months ago a longtime friend and business associate I'll call "Brian" lost his wife. They had been married for nine years. Brian and I have shared many conversations over the years and know details of each other's lives. He's a remarkable person with outstanding values and a wonderful heart.

I have been legally separated for a year and am in the process of getting a divorce.

I feel terrible for Brian. I know he loved his wife and was committed to her. I feel an overwhelming desire to comfort him, but have held back because it might be a problem because of our circumstances. We have much in common and really enjoy each other's company, and I do feel drawn to him. But I don't want people talking negatively about us, as if there were something going on.

How can I let Brian know I'd like to be there for him without revealing that I would like more? I realize it is inappropriate to infringe on his period of mourning, but I would like him to know I have a genuine interest in him. -- FROM A DISTANCE

DEAR FROM A DISTANCE: It would not be an infringement on this man's period of mourning to pick up the phone, tell him you heard the sad news about his wife's passing and offer your deepest sympathy for his loss, because you know how devoted he and his wife were to each other. It would also not be an infringement to invite him for a home-cooked meal if he wants one.

But don't be surprised if he tells you the last thing he needs is a home-cooked meal because these days, when an eligible man is widowed, the eligible ladies are often not as restrained as you are, and line up at the widower's door within days of the funeral. "The early bird gets the worm."

DEAR ABBY: May I pass on some information that may be helpful to your readers? I work at a mail-processing center.

Some people use the self-addressed envelopes sent to them by businesses and organizations for other purposes. These envelopes have bar codes on them. When people recycle them, they cross out the organization's name and address but forget to cross out the bar code. Therefore, the envelope gets sent to the business that provided it, rather than to the party to whom it has been readdressed.

Sometimes this happens even after the bar code has been blackened out. We have received tax payments, personal letters, credit card payments -- you name it. We do return this mail to the post office, but I am sure it takes a while for it to get to the correct address. I feel bad for people having to endure the delay this causes.

My advice: If you must use these envelopes, please make sure you completely cover up or black out the original bar code. -- TRYING TO HELP IN ILLINOIS

DEAR TRYING TO HELP: You are helping. I am sure many of my thrifty readers will thank you for the heads-up.

DEAR READERS: It's time for my "timely" reminder that Daylight Saving Time ends at 2 this Sunday morning. Don't forget to turn your clocks back one hour tonight when you go to bed. (That's what I'll be doing!)

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)