DEAR ABBY: I'm a high school student in the top 2 percent of my class. I'm heavily involved in extracurricular activities. I don't give my mom much to worry about, but she is always "concerned."
She spies on me from the other room while I'm online and has recruited my brother to help her. She has forced me to give her the passwords to my e-mail and Myspace accounts and constantly asks me what I'm doing.
When I'm in my room alone, she repeatedly comes in to ask me what's going on and says I'm not supposed to close my bedroom door. If I do, she will open it without knocking. Abby, even the bathroom door isn't permitted to be locked. If it is, Mom breaks in with a bobby pin, and I'm given the third degree. Nothing is sacred.
Mom has looked for and read my diary. When I question her methods, she responds that she "doesn't want to argue about it."
I have never given her any problems. Is she right to be concerned, or do I deserve better? Please help. I have nothing to myself. -- SPIED ON IN OHIO
DEAR SPIED ON: While I'm all for conscientious parenting, it appears your mom as gone over the top. In her zeal to "protect" you -- even from yourself -- she is acting more like a prison matron than a mother. Because you have given her no grounds for her inability to trust you, I can only wonder what she did as a teen that has made her hyper-suspicious of you.
Is your father in the picture? If so, talk to him about the situation. If not, ask a female relative or the mother of a friend to talk to your mother and explain that when this amount of control is exerted, all it accomplishes is driving the child away. I can't promise it will help her to get a grip, but it might.