DEAR ABBY: My husband of three years, "Mike," is never home. He goes to work and then hangs out with his buddies, leaving me at home with our baby and my two other children until late at night. On weekends, Mike jumps out of bed, showers and leaves -- sometimes not returning until the wee hours of the morning. He says he's "with friends."

Most of the time he doesn't bother to call, but when he does I'm usually so mad I don't answer the phone. Mike says he "needs his time." Well, what about our time as a couple and as a family? I told him I feel like I'm running a bed-and-breakfast.

My friends say they think Mike has someone else. I'm not sure. This has been going on for a year and a half, and I am tired of it. He rarely agrees to watch the baby if I have to run to the store. When he's home, all he does is play video games.

Abby, Mike is 34 years old. I am 41. He has touched me only once in the last four months. I feel rejected, lonely and miss the closeness. What should I do? -- HOME ALONE IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR HOME ALONE: Your husband is behaving like an adolescent who has run away from home. The cause may be another woman, anger at you, an inability to shoulder mature responsibility or a combination of the three. But you won't get to the bottom of it until you can get a handle on your emotions, stop reacting with anger, and convince him to level with you. Believe me, you have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 17-year-old male. When I was in middle school, I was considerably smaller than the other guys, and as a result, I was often picked on about my size. Every year we were required to take a physical fitness test in P.E. My dismal performance in front of my classmates was a source of great embarrassment.

I'm now a junior in high school and participate in numerous varsity sports. Even though I am a competitive athlete, I am still insecure about my body. I constantly worry about my size -- that I am too fat or too small. I am never content about my body. How can I build my self-confidence? -- LAS VEGAS TEEN

DEAR TEEN: Begin by having a talk with your coach. If your body wasn't in good shape, you would not be in varsity competition.

Next, make up your mind to focus on other aspects of yourself besides the physical. Volunteer some of your free time to a charitable cause, helping younger kids with sports, or community activities. It will give you less time to obsess about your body, help you develop other interests and make you feel good about yourself.

If that's not enough, then talk to a counselor, because what you are doing is replaying "old tapes" in your head that have nothing to do with the person you are today.

DEAR ABBY: I dress my Siamese cat, "Belle," in clothes and pajamas. (Yes, they make apparel for cats.) I also push her around in a stroller. My friends think I'm crazy, but I consider Belle to be my daughter.

One time, a teenager came up to me as I was pushing Belle in her stroller and asked, "Where's the baby?" I told her that Belle was like my baby.

Is it nuts to treat a cat like a child? -- MOM OF A FUR KID IN N.Y.

DEAR "MOM": Nuts? No. A bid for attention ... perhaps.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a small-business owner who does the hiring for my company. I hope you will share some suggestions for young people who are now applying for postgraduate jobs.

(1) Every contact with a prospective employer is a mini-interview. Present yourself appropriately. I have received many inappropriate e-mails. Example: "Hey, when would this gig start?" Please remember to use a salutation and communicate politely and clearly.

(2) Many companies post a great deal of information about job openings on their Web sites. Read the site carefully before calling so I won't waste time answering questions you could have answered on your own.

(3) Shortcuts may be cute when text-messaging your friends, but in business they are annoying and unprofessional. Avoid messages such as "Thnx 4 ur help. Talk 2 u later!"

(4) Because I must read your resume and application, please proofread it for spelling, grammar and typos.

(5) Many Internet sites now offer free e-mail. Set up an account using your name or initial so I don't have to e-mail "hotchick99" with an offer to teach young children.

(6) If you have a phone interview, please find a quiet place from which to place the call. It is difficult to understand you above your roommate who is cursing over a video game.

(7) Never, ever tell a prospective employer you are waiting to hear about a job you want more, that pays more or gives you more "fun" time. Simply say you are "exploring all your options," and I will understand.

By the way, Abby, I am not an old fuddy-duddy. I am a 26-year-old professional who expects more from my peers than I have seen. -- EXASPERATED RECRUITER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR EXASPERATED RECRUITER: Your suggestions are excellent. I am sure they will be appreciated not only by first-time job applicants, but also their prospective employers.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl. I don't get angry often, but when I do my parents disregard it by calling me a "hormonal teenager." They say things like, "She's such a CHARMING 14-year-old" and "There are hormones raging." I find their comments hurtful and degrading.

Please don't misunderstand. My parents are usually nice, but when something bothers me they automatically resort to the above comments. I personally believe I am pretty good at handling and expressing my emotions calmly. It just seems that my parents don't consider the credibility of my emotions and blame them on my being a teen. Is it wrong for them to say these things? What should I do when they say them? -- DISREGARDED IN OREGON

DEAR DISREGARDED: No one of any age wants to feel patronized, and that goes for people from 13 to 93. (And, interestingly, it happens to people from both ends of the spectrum.) If your parents want to exchange comments like the ones you mentioned, it would be better if they did so in private. However, if they are saying things like, "She's such a charming 14-year-old," it may be a clue to the fact that you're acting like anything BUT -- and perhaps you should find a more mature and controlled way of expressing your emotions.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My children are 10 and 12. When my wife and I suggest that we all do something together, they whine and moan. We have to force them to go, or end up getting upset with them and staying home.

We live five minutes from the beach, but the kids say they "don't like" going to the beach. The bay is down the road, and we used to fish there all the time, have picnics, visit the local zoo and other outdoor activities. But we rarely go anymore. It seems that unless it involves spending money -- like going on boardwalk rides or trips to the arcade -- the children don't want to go. They would rather play on the computer, watch TV, or ride their bikes up and down the street.

Should we ease up and let them do their own thing since they are getting older, or continue to try to do family things together? -- DISAPPOINTED DAD, NORTH CAPE MAY, N.J.

DEAR DAD: You and your wife are the parents in your family, and your wishes should be respected. Yes, your children are getting older, but doing something as a family twice a month isn't a punishment.

Perhaps you should ask them what THEY would like to do as a family. Another thought: Allow them both to include a friend in these activities. It could turn out to be more fun for all concerned. Give it a try.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Cindy," recently moved in with me. We have a history of fighting, often to exhaustion. I have been trying hard to improve my communication skills.

Something that troubles me is a tactic of hers that forces me to stay in the conversation when I need to take a break from it. Cindy literally stands in front of me when I'm trying to go outside to calm down. She will position herself in front of me without actually touching me, so I have to make physical contact in order to get out the door. Then she claims that I am abusive because of the extreme physical contact needed to get by her. If I give up and stay in the house, her verbal abuse will continue.

I feel trapped. I either endure her verbal abuse until she runs out of steam, or fall into her trap and become someone who physically abuses his girlfriend. I am twice Cindy's size, so I don't think authorities will buy my story of feeling trapped should she show them any marks I leave while trying to push through the door. What's the answer? -- HELD HOSTAGE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HELD HOSTAGE: Recognize that you and Cindy are too combustible a combination to have a healthy relationship and end it now. And when you do, be sure to have witnesses present who can help her pack her things.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old girl who can't swing up on a horse. Hard as I try, I just get laughed at by the people in my riding club. I keep practicing, but nothing works. What can I do? I need help, even my friends say so. -- HOPELESS IN UTAH

DEAR HOPELESS: Try this. Go to a gym and have a trainer prescribe some exercises to increase the strength in your arms and legs. If you follow my advice, I predict that in a few months you will be the person getting the last laugh. (If that doesn't work, you may need a shorter horse.)

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)