DEAR ABBY: My oldest brother, "Harry," has been dealing with drug and alcohol issues for more than 30 years. While I am not wealthy by any standards, barring any major catastrophes, my wife and I will be comfortable in our retirement.
Harry's adult kids are having problems taking care of him, and they, as well as my other adult siblings, seem to think I am "harsh and callous" for not helping.
What they don't know is that, as a child, Harry sexually abused me, and when I was in my 20s and in the military stationed overseas, he slept with my (now ex-) wife. What they have also conveniently forgotten is that a few years ago, I gave Harry several thousand dollars' worth of equipment to start a business. Instead of starting the business, he sold the equipment to buy booze and drugs.
Am I being too harsh? If not, how many of the details should I reveal to let the family know why I feel so little compassion? -- FED UP IN TEXAS
DEAR FED UP: Perhaps it's time you got it ALL off your chest. Considering everything that has transpired, I don't think you're being harsh or callous by not chipping in. And I see no reason why you should remain silent about the way you have been sexually and financially abused by your brother.