DEAR ABBY: America is making steady progress in the war against colon cancer. It's largely because of early detection and improved treatments. However, there's more to be done, and here is where I need your help.

Abby, colon cancer remains the third-leading cause of cancer deaths in both men and women in the United States, with about 50,000 deaths expected this year. The good news is that colon cancer is one of the two cancers (the other is cervical cancer) that can be prevented through regular screening. Colon cancer tests allow doctors to find and remove growths (called "polyps") before they become cancerous, thereby preventing cancer. Furthermore, these screening tests can also detect cancer at an earlier, more curable stage.

Unfortunately, many Americans still aren't getting lifesaving tests for colon cancer. Only four out of 10 Americans get the recommended screening. Therefore, only 39 percent of the new cases are found at an early stage, when a cure is most possible. A substantial number of the 50,000 deaths expected from colon cancer this year could have been avoided with wider use of proven screening tests.

As always, the American Cancer Society is here to offer help, including a free information kit to make it easy for people to talk to their doctor about colon cancer testing. -- ELMER E. HUERTA, M.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY

DEAR DR. HUERTA: Thank you for reminding me to remind my readers that March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness month. We all know that testing saves lives, and it is my hope that because of your letter, Dear Abby readers will become more aware of the importance of getting tested for colon cancer and will talk to their doctor about having the tests done beginning at age 50.

Readers, for more information about this important subject, call (800) 227-2345 or visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.cancer.org" ��www.cancer.org� anytime, day or night, and let the American Cancer Society help you stop colon cancer before it starts.

DEAR ABBY: My nephew is being married this summer in an outdoor garden wedding. He casually mentioned that his future mother-in-law plans to purchase several large planters with live plants from a housewares store to use for the ceremony. She then intends to return the planters for a refund, saying, "They didn't work out."

I consider this to be totally unethical. My family agrees, but because the bride's family is paying most of the wedding costs, we feel it is inappropriate to speak up.

Now I'm beginning to wonder about the morals of the family into which my nephew is marrying. But since I'm only a relative, I can't say anything without starting trouble. What do you think? -- DREADING THE WEDDING, ANAHEIM, CALIF.

DEAR DREADING THE WEDDING: There's a saying, "All that's needed for evil to flourish is for good people to say nothing." If you and the family have already made your opinions known, then you have done enough. But while you're "wondering about the morals of the family into which your nephew is marrying," you should also wonder about the ethics and morals of a young man who would allow this to be done on one of the most sacred occasions in his life. Shame on him for not speaking up.

As to this practice being harmless, many companies have eliminated return policies because of it. So everyone gets hurt.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently visited our daughter and two beautiful grandchildren, "Mary" (age 17) and "Patrick" (age 15). Mary has a boyfriend I'll call "Brandon" who is all she has talked about since we arrived. She's quite smitten.

One night I was having trouble falling asleep and decided to go downstairs for a glass of wine. As I descended the stairs, I noticed Patrick and Brandon locked in a passionate embrace on the couch. They never noticed me, and I quietly returned upstairs. The boys' lovemaking did not help my insomnia.

I haven't mentioned what I saw to anybody. I am not bothered by the gay aspect of the encounter I witnessed. However, my paternal instincts make me want to protect Mary from being hurt. I don't believe in meddling, but I'm not sure keeping silent is right, either. Any advice? -- SURPRISED GRANDPOP IN PHILLY

DEAR GRANDPOP: I assume that Patrick has not yet come out to the family about his sexual orientation. If that's the case, then I don't recommend you out him by telling his sister what you saw. I do, however, think you should discuss it with Patrick, because he should be the one to tell Mary she shouldn't pin her hopes on Brandon, as he's not the person he may pretend to be.

DEAR ABBY: My twin sister and I are close, but sometimes we like to do things apart from each other.

Other kids don't seem to understand why we're not together 100 percent of the time, even though we're together probably 90 percent of the time. When we're not together, we are invariably asked, "Where's your sister?" or "Did you two have a fight?" We're tired of having to explain that nothing is wrong and that we've just chosen to do something different at a particular time.

We share a room and sleep in a double bed, so we are always very close at home. But once in a while, we like to get out and do something apart, and we don't see why others should question it. How do we put an end to these questions and comments? -- NOT SIAMESE IN MEDFORD, ORE.

DEAR NOT SIAMESE: The reason you are asked those questions is because you and your sister are together 90 percent of the time. People tend to question anything that is unusual, and seeing you apart is unusual. There is no way to put an end to the questions, but you can keep your sense of humor and respond honestly by saying, "We're not joined at the hip. We felt like doing something different today."

DEAR ABBY: Can you suggest a sincere, non-religious phrase that is the equivalent of "I'll keep you in my prayers"?

I'm not formally religious, but when I have a friend who is sick or experiencing a rough patch, I want to say something that carries the same sentiment. I'm not comfortable "acting" religious when I'm not, but I would like friends to know how truly concerned I am and how much I hope they get better. -- CARING TEXAN

DEAR CARING TEXAN: Say it to them just as you have said it to me: "I'm concerned for you, and I hope you are better soon; you're in my thoughts today and every day."

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: When my new boss, a Marilyn Monroe look-alike, began working here five years ago, I immediately had a crush on her. Two years ago, I began working directly with her in the office and fell head-over-heels, smitten to the bone with her.

She's married, I'm married, and I have never made a pass. The problem is, I have become obsessed with her. I can't stop thinking about her all day. I dream about her at night. I feel I have never been in love like this, and it has reached the point where it consumes every second of my day.

I love my wife and would not want to jeopardize my life with her. But how can I stop this overwhelming passion that I feel for "Marilyn"? Please don't tell me to change jobs. That would be my worst nightmare. I can't picture my life without being at least able to see this woman and exchange pleasantries with her. -- LOST IN LOVE IN TAMPA

DEAR LOST IN LOVE: You said it yourself -- you have become obsessed. This "grand passion" is not only unfair to your wife, it is also unfair to your boss because although she may remind you of Marilyn Monroe, I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that she would rather be taken seriously.

As I see it, you have several choices: psychotherapy, aversion therapy or another job. Because psychotherapy can be expensive, and you won't change jobs, try this: Put a thick rubber band on your wrist. When you catch yourself lusting after Marilyn, give the rubber band a strong "snap." It will not only bring you back to the reality of the task at hand, but also the fact that you're married. With luck, you will begin to associate lusting after this woman with pain, and stop daydreaming when you're supposed to be working.

DEAR ABBY: I need your help. Senior prom is coming up, and there's this girl at school I'd like to ask, but frankly, I don't have the nerve. I know it's still a couple of months away, but I want to ask her before someone else does. Please, I really need advice. -- SCAREDY-CAT, KENAI, ALASKA

DEAR SCAREDY-CAT: There's a saying: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." Asking for a date may seem risky because nobody wants to be told "no." But unless you take the risk, you will never hear "yes."

Talk to this girl at school. Start the conversation by asking her something about a class you're in together or what she thought about a sporting event. Then ask if she has plans for the prom. If her answer is no, then say, "Would you like to go with me?" It's that simple.

If talking to her at school would be too embarrassing for you, the alternative is calling her at home. If that's the way you'd prefer to do it, the directions are the same as in the paragraph above.

DEAR READERS: For those of you who live in states with daylight saving time, it begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow morning. So, remember the saying, "Spring forward, fall back," and set your clocks AHEAD one hour tonight at bedtime.

Fun fact: Daylight saving time is not observed in Puerto Rico, Guam, the Virgin Islands, American Samoa, Hawaii or Arizona. However, the Navajo Nation utilizes daylight saving time -- even in the state of Arizona, because of its large size and location in three states. (Source: Webexhibits.org)

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)