DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a great guy, "Curtis," for about a year, and I'm happy with everything about our relationship except for one thing. Curtis lives out of town. I live in the same town as his parents. He stays with me many weekends, and when he visits his parents and they ask where he is staying, he lies to them.
I understand that his folks are religious and that they wouldn't approve of his staying over, but Curtis is 25 years old. At this point, shouldn't he be able to choose what he wants to do?
My parents are also traditional in their beliefs, but I have made it clear to Curtis that I was raised to tell the truth, even if it means disappointing someone. His mom and dad have met me. They know this is an enduring relationship. I want him to feel comfortable telling them where he's staying on weekends.
Should I stop worrying about this, or should Curtis be telling his parents the truth? I know he loves me, but I feel like his guilty secret. -- CANADIAN READER
DEAR CANADIAN READER: While I agree that by age 25 Curtis should be man enough to level with his parents about whose pillow he's hitting on weekends, I don't think this is anything to obsess about. His folks may be religious, but they're probably not naive -- and this may be a "game" they have played for years.
Because they have met you and know you have an ongoing relationship, you are not Curtis' guilty secret. The fact that he is sexually active is Curtis' guilty secret, and I don't think you should push him to reveal it until he feels ready.