DEAR ABBY: I was the other woman for seven years, involved with a man I thought was perfect. His wife knew about me. It was never an issue until he fell in love with me. After that, things changed. He began making promises and told me as soon as his wife got herself together and found a job and a place to live, he'd divorce her and be with me forever.

Two years became three, three became five. Finally I realized he'd never do what he promised, so I ended it. The problem is, he's my boss. He was my best friend, and I still had some hope. We see each other every day because of work, although I am considered an independent contractor.

A year after I called it quits he finally filed for divorce. A few months later he met this new woman. He says he loves her, but I still hurt. Every day is another day of holding back my tears, another day to hide my pain.

Today I met a woman who is a member of a group I belong to. She mentioned she knows a man who would be "perfect" for me. She said they had dated a few times over the years. Abby, the number she gave me was his. While we were together he was seeing this other woman! I am devastated.

I am still in love with him. How can I make myself forget him when we still work together? Please advise. -- WEEPING IN CHICO, CALIF.

DEAR WEEPING: Forget him? People only learn from the mistakes they are willing to remember. Dry your tears and get out of that office NOW. As an "independent contractor" it's time to declare your independence. Finding a job with better benefits should be a breeze, considering that all you have to show for this one is heartache.

DEAR ABBY: I was hired about a month ago at a biotech firm as a logistics coordinator, basically doing a little of everything -- shipping, arranging travel, etc. I put a lot of hard work into every assignment I was given and, as a result, was moved into the marketing department last week and given a more defined position with a greater workload. My title is "marketing coordinator."

When I had more time, I didn't mind covering the occasional shift for the receptionist when needed. But now I am asked to do it on a nearly daily basis, sometimes with little or no notice. I politely informed the receptionist that I had more work to do now and could not always cover, and she drew up a schedule that has me covering one hour a week.

The beef I have is that no other new hires are being asked to cover. I feel I'm being taken advantage of because I am young and female, and if I don't put my foot down now, early in my career, I'll be continually taken advantage of. What is your advice? -- GO-FER IN RALEIGH, N.C.

DEAR GO-FER: If you haven't already received one, approach your supervisor and ask for a written job description for your new position. If fill-in receptionist is not one of your duties, it is possible that the receptionist went beyond her authority in assigning the shift to you.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl in junior high. I'm being harassed at school by three boys. I'm not popular, attractive or fashionable. I am athletic, quiet and a straight-A student.

These boys are jocks, so they have everyone wrapped around their little fingers. They call me terrible names, take things from me and treat me like dirt. It has gotten to the point where I come home crying. I have tried everything -- ignoring them and just walking away. My few friends won't help me because they like these boys.

When I told my parents, they said I should just ignore them, and repeated it when I told them it wasn't working. Abby, it's impossible to ignore them because they get louder and meaner until they are hitting me or poking me, trying to get me to respond. I am at my breaking point and I don't think I can take it any longer. I don't know who to turn to. Please help me. -- HURT IN OHIO

DEAR HURT: No one has the right to touch you without your permission. Doing so could be considered a form of assault. Many schools have a zero-tolerance policy for this kind of behavior.

I'm sorry to say that no one can prevent bullies from name-calling if it's done out of earshot from adults. However, because their behavior has escalated to hitting and poking, bring it to the attention of a school counselor or your principal. Your parents should accompany you when you do it because the bullying won't stop without intervention. Please tell them I said so.

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for folks who are wondering what gifts to buy for small children -- especially those they don't see often.

Last year I did something that family members did for me when I was little. I bought books from the dollar store for my three grandchildren and videotaped myself reading to them. I made sure to include bits and pieces of family history and funny stories.

It wasn't expensive. It will help them learn to read, get them to go to sleep, and give Mom and Dad a break. It helped my grandchildren become familiar with my voice, and clarified family relationships by connecting them to stories and family trees.

The 1-year-old's mother said the child loved her books and kept opening and closing them -- holding them upside down and turning the pages to examine each one.

It took a bit of time to do, but it's something the parents have told me they'll cherish -- and it will outlast clothes the children will outgrow and toys that will break or be tossed away. -- ANNIE IN GEORGIA

DEAR ANNIE: That's a delightful, creative idea -- not just for the children. A gift like yours could become a family treasure. Thank you for sharing.

DEAR ABBY: How do I tell my best friend that her husband wants a physical relationship with me? My husband is in prison, and my friends have been wonderfully supportive, but her husband has made it plain he's after me. -- NOT INTERESTED IN FLORIDA

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Tell the husband that you consider him and his wife to be dear friends, but you're not interested in a physical relationship, and if he doesn't stop coming on to you, you'll tell his wife. If that doesn't cool his ardor, stop seeing them as a couple.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a stay-at-home mother with three young children. I have become friends with another stay-at-home parent. We share many things in common, and our children are great playmates. The problem is, my friend is a man.

Even though both of us are happily married, sometimes we feel awkward spending time together. Our spouses are not thrilled about us hanging out together, but they haven't forbidden it because they trust us to be faithful.

Is it appropriate for a man and a woman to spend time together while their spouses are at work? -- AT HOME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN'S HUSBAND

DEAR AT HOME: It depends upon the individuals involved and whether there is a physical attraction. In your case, because you "sometimes feel awkward spending time together," I suggest you limit it -- because what you're feeling may be sexual tension.

Has it occurred to you to include other stay-at-home parents in these visits? That might be a way to diffuse the situation without ending the friendship.

DEAR ABBY: I have a courtesy question regarding personal (not business) e-mails. Should a person's e-mail be "private" and accessible to others only after they are asked and have given permission? Or are e-mail messages "open season," in that anyone with access to someone's PC and password can open the e-mail and browse at will?

I recently discovered my wife reading my e-mail, and I was upset that she had opened it without asking my permission. Her response was, "Well, I've got nothing to hide," but that misses the point of privacy and courtesy between married partners.

Shouldn't courtesy require someone -- even a trusted spouse -- to ask before opening someone else's e-mail? -- FEELS INVADED, ST. PETERS, MO.

DEAR FEELS INVADED: If you and your wife share a joint e-mail account, and the e-mail is addressed to both of you, then your wife is within her rights to read it. If not, she should respect your privacy. And vice versa.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are having a minor disagreement, and I hope you'll respond to this letter in the paper so he sees it. (We're both frequent readers of your column.)

We're arguing over what would be an appropriate curfew for our 18-year-old son. My husband believes 2 a.m. is appropriate for weekends, as long as we know where he is and what he'll be doing. I believe it should be 1 a.m.

Our son is a good person. He dabbled with alcohol when he was a bit younger, but he hasn't done it since and is doing well in life. He also has good friends.

Of course, he thinks the 2 a.m. curfew is better. Like father, like son, huh? Abby, which time do you believe is more appropriate as a curfew for our son? -- CURFEW PATROL MOM

DEAR CURFEW PATROL MOM: At 18, your son has become a young man. There is very little difference between a 1 or 2 o'clock curfew on a weekend night. Why not split the difference and make it 1:30?

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)