DEAR ABBY: I am almost 13. There has been a recent death in the family. My aunt and a very close family friend were both killed in a car crash.
Every time I hear a sad song or a song my aunt or the friend liked, I want to cry, but I can't. In school, when I hear something that reminds me of my aunt, I want to cry, but I don't want to humiliate myself.
My little sister is very new to the whole death situation. She doesn't know how to handle it, so she expresses it in anger. Can you help me? -- MISSING MY AUNT IN NEW YORK
DEAR MISSING YOUR AUNT: Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. Death is hard for anyone to cope with, but at the tender ages of you and your sister it can be particularly traumatic.
You could both benefit from grief counseling, because talking about your feelings is an effective and healthy way to deal with loss. Also, if you feel the need to cry, remember that tears are healing. If you are embarrassed to cry in front of schoolmates, excuse yourself and do it in private.
Sometimes people need help in finding their way through the grief process. Your parents, clergyperson or a counselor at school can help you get it. So please don't wait to ask.