DEAR ABBY: It happened again! Someone put pesticide in a water bottle. A 6-year-old child got ahold of it and drank about 2 ounces. He is now on a ventilator in a pediatric intensive care unit. Having made it that far, he'll probably be OK. Why do people keep doing this?

I can't tell you how many sad stories I've seen that start with using a sports bottle, a soft drink can or a milk bottle for temporary pesticide storage. I would like very much never to see another, but my chances are not good. It is my job to track health impacts from pesticide exposure in the state where I live -- where state law requires doctors to report such events to local health officers.

Please remind your readers to keep pesticides -- and other toxic products -- in their original, carefully labeled containers. Under no circumstances should people use food or drink containers for poisons, even momentarily. Please remind readers, too, not to use more pesticide than the instructions direct. The recommended amounts are effective, and using more just asks for trouble. Thank you, Abby. -- CONCERNED HEALTH WORKER IN THE USA

DEAR CONCERNED: Thank you for the important reminder. The most innocent among us are the most likely victims of irresponsibility in handling toxic substances. A word to the wise!

DEAR ABBY: I have been working as a clerk for about nine months. I love my job and have made good friends here. I enjoy working with people, and my schedule is flexible enough that I can earn my college degree.

My boss, "Tom," is a young, handsome and charming man, and I am attracted to him. We have shared each other's personal stories, and he treats me differently than he does the other female employees. He not only engages in intimate conversations about sex, but he's also touchy and very personal. Recently he told me he had cheated on his girlfriend.

I told another employee, not to pass moral judgment, but to ask what she thought he meant by telling me this. Well, it got back to Tom. He told me he was disappointed in me and he can't trust me. He said I have jeopardized his relationship with his girlfriend. I told a close adult friend. She says he acted inappropriately and he's angry with me because he feels guilty. I'm not sure what to do. I have already apologized, but our relationship is strained.

I haven't been in the working world very long. Is this level of personal sharing inappropriate? Tom says he's my friend, but I have never been to his home, gone to a movie with him or anything like that. I love my job, and I don't know if I should write him a note and apologize formally or let bygones be bygones. Please help me. -- EMPLOYEE ON THE EDGE

DEAR ON THE EDGE: Tom is not your friend; he is your boss. You have done nothing for which to apologize. Tom stepped over the line when he started treating you differently than the other employees, putting his hands on you, and engaging you in conversation of a personal -- and sexual -- nature. Tom may be handsome and charming, but he is also an unprofessional rat. Do not write him a letter of apology. Frankly, he owes you one.

DEAR ABBY: Hola! from Mexico. We have just moved to a new neighborhood where some of our friends live. I would like to invite them for dinner, but I don't know if I should wait for them to do it first. -- LUISA IN VERACRUZ, MEXICO

DEAR LUISA: If you wait to be invited, it could be a long wait. Better to be proactive. Invite your friends over. They may be more likely to reciprocate your hospitality than to entertain you on their own initiative.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm turning 90 soon and live in a small assisted-living environment. I have outlived four husbands, and I'm thinking about a fifth. For clarification, my husbands all died of natural causes -- except for my second. (He and I were divorced.)

I am just a typical, sweet old lady in need of companionship. I have my eye on a fellow resident, but I firmly believe that it's bad policy to dip my pen in the company ink -- if you know what I mean.

What options are available for single seniors these days? I met all my previous husbands through friends and family. The problem is, most of my friends have died, and my kids won't help me for fear of losing their inheritance. -- 90 WITH A FEW MILES LEFT ON THE ENGINE

DEAR 90 (BUT GOING LIKE 60): Perhaps your "kids" would be more receptive to introducing you to someone if you promise you will have a prenuptial agreement in place before marrying again. If that doesn't produce results, consider going online to one of the more popular Web sites such as Match.com or eHarmony.com -- although they charge for their services. I predict if you tell your children what you intend to do, they'll prefer you see someone they have vetted.

P.S. While I respect your "company policy," please weigh the benefit vs. the embarrassment factor in deciding whether to pursue the fellow resident you have your eye on. Nothing ventured, nothing gained (if you know what I mean), and I'm sure you could find out just about everything about him if you put your mind to it. It's always better to know with whom you're having the pleasure.

DEAR ABBY: I am the father of a 10-year-old boy and a 6-year-old girl. I would do anything for my kids.

My wife and I have had a few rocky years together and sometimes, I guess, it is inevitable for the kids to get caught in the middle. I hope you can help me understand something.

My wife, a stay-at-home mom, signed them both up for swimming lessons, and she has been taking them while I have been working. My daughter asked me several times if I could come and watch her take her lessons, but I told her I had to work. Finally, I told her I would go and watch on the last day, and she was thrilled.

My wife, however, accused me of leaving all the "work" of taking them to lessons to her -- and accused me of "just wanting to swoop in and watch when everything was done" so they would remember me coming.

Abby, I have decided not to go just to avoid the argument, but I'm sure my daughter will be disappointed. Can you please explain this to me, because I sure am ... CONFUSED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CONFUSED: Change your mind again and keep your promise to your daughter. If you break it, she will remember that you didn't come through for years to come.

If you and your wife are not in marriage counseling, you should start now. For whatever reason, your wife is angry. She is not happy with her life and may resent the role she is playing as a stay-at-home mom. That's why she is accusing you of "leaving all the work" to her, and trying to prevent you from receiving any "glory" you might attain by being there for your kids. It is sick thinking, and if you let it go it will negatively affect your relationship with your children. For their sake, get help ASAP.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: In your July 4 column, "Twins' Mom in Bellevue, Wash." told about one of her 12-year-old daughters' wish to stop dressing like her twin sister and to be an individual. We also have twin daughters, now adults.

When they were very young, I pushed them in a double stroller around the area where we lived. There was a lady I met frequently, and we talked about their progress. She eventually told me she was a child psychologist and asked if she might give me some advice.

She told me that all twins, whether identical or not, should be given a chance to choose things separately -- the colors they wore, toys, etc. She also suggested separate classes at school when possible, different choices of friends and activities, and most important of all, for us to treat them as individuals, not a single entity.

At the age of 4, they went to preschool. Each went two days separately and a third day together. This gave each girl a chance to develop alone and also to have "time with Mom." In kindergarten they were in the same class, but had different teachers. In elementary school they were in separate classes for the most part.

They chose to dress differently, if only by color. They were not in the same homeroom in middle school, but had a class or two together. Many fellow students had no idea they were twins unless they were especially close to the girls.

By high school, they were distinct individuals, and at times competitive with each other. They did not share friends. One of my girls went on to college in Washington state, the other in Southern California. One is now a successful businesswoman; the other is a former graphic artist who is married, raising a son and helping with her husband's business. The twins are now closer than they were as children.

I think we did the right thing, thanks to that friendly neighbor. The twins in your column should have been given separate choices long before the age of 12, but it isn't too late. -- JANE IN CARMEL VALLEY, CALIF.

DEAR JANE: Thank you for sharing your family's story with my readers. The responses I have received emphasize that the experience of being a twin can be as different as their looks are similar. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: How appropriate to see the letter about identical twins on the anniversary of the birthday of your dear mother and aunt!

I am also an identical twin. My brother and I are now 57. As with individuals, each set of twins is unique. Some celebrate their twinness, some seek more individuality, some go back and forth, and some don't agree. The solution is to allow each set of twins to find the balance that is right for them.

When we were growing up, our mother wisely permitted us to have some matching outfits, but also some that did not match. On any given day, we could choose to dress identically or either one of us could make the decision to be distinct simply by selecting a non-matching outfit.

Today, we live in different cities, with very different careers, but get together or at least speak by phone frequently and consider ourselves quite close. -- DOUGLAS, BROTHER OF DENNIS

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old identical twin. Let me make something clear to everyone: Twins are not the same person! Just because we look alike doesn't mean we have the same feelings and personalities.

My parents have always dressed us differently. We have never worn our hair the same way, and we are in different classes and schools. We barely know each other's friends. I have never set foot inside her middle school -- and yet we remain extremely close. Please encourage your twins to be individuals! -- UNIQUE TWIN IN COLORADO

DEAR ABBY: "Twins' Mom" should realize that if she weren't buying the twins matching outfits, the issues of dressing differently would not exist! -- MARY H., A FAITHFUL READER

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