DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together almost three years (minus five months separated). Whenever the subject of marriage comes up, he says, "... whenever YOU want to ask." In other words, he's putting the responsibility on me! I am old-fashioned when it comes to proposals, Abby. I think the man should ask.
Do you think he's putting the responsibility on me because he knows I won't ask and he doesn't want to commit? I have one child from a previous relationship, and I would like more, but I vowed that I wouldn't have another one until I was married. I am only 28, but I don't want to be having kids 10 years from now.
Oh yeah, we are looking at houses to buy together. How can I tell if he will ever "pop the question" or if it's a lost cause? What should I do? -- TIFFANY IN TEXAS
DEAR TIFFANY: With a child from a previous relationship and house-hunting with your current boyfriend, you may not be as "old-fashioned" as you think.
You appear to be a very trusting young woman. At the risk of sounding like a party-pooper, I am urging you to think long and hard about pooling your money to buy real estate with anyone until you have an attorney to look out for your financial interests.
At the pace your romance is going, it's fair to assume that your boyfriend is in no hurry to rush to the altar. If you're waiting for him to get off the dime, it could be years before he gets around to it -- if ever. So lay it on the line, call his bluff, and hope his answer is yes, because that will be the test of whether he's marriage-minded at all.