DEAR ABBY: I am 15 years old, and for 13 years I have known that I am adopted. My friend tells me that she thinks she has found my real mother -- that she goes to her church. I'm really confused.
I need to know the truth about my mom and dad, and even though I want a relationship, I think it's too late to try to pursue one with her. I love her, even though I don't know her.
My boyfriend tells me I should go and see her, but I'm nervous and confused all at the same time. I'm scared that I might get heartbroken, and I don't want that to happen. Abby, what should I do? Should I leave it the way it is, or try to pursue a relationship with her? -- IN MUCH PAIN IN NASHVILLE, N.C.
DEAR IN PAIN: First of all, I want you to know that all of the feelings you're experiencing -- the love, the yearning, the nervousness and fear of rejection -- are normal. It is natural for a child to want to know her parents and how she came to be adopted.
However, before you make any decisions about reaching out to this woman, you should discuss it with your family, which could help you avoid making a painful mistake. Because your friend "thinks" she has located your birth mother doesn't mean the woman is who the girl thinks she is.
It would be healthier for everyone concerned if your parents helped you to locate your birth mother at a time that is mutually agreeable. Most birth parents are as eager to be reunited with the children they placed for adoption as their offspring are.