DEAR ABBY: I have recently become engaged. I was approached last week by an old friend, "Lindsay," who sat me down and asked me in a serious manner if she could be a bridesmaid in my wedding. I was taken aback by her question and responded awkwardly, saying I hadn't decided yet. She looked hurt, and I quickly changed the subject.
Frankly, Lindsay is someone I hadn't considered asking to be in my wedding because we have grown apart over the years.
I will be selecting my bridesmaids soon, and I don't want to hurt her feelings even more. How should I handle this? -- BRIDE-TO-BE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: As I see it, you have two choices. You can pretend Lindsay never asked you that question. Or, you can have a chat with her and explain that you and your fiance have discussed who will be in the bridal party, and, because you and she have grown apart over the years, you have decided to ask other people.
Either way, she's not going to like it. But remember, she was presumptuous to put you on the spot in the first place, and you are under no obligation to ask her.