life

Name Game Gives Pleasure to Those With Ear for Irony

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 15th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed the columns you've printed about people whose names matched their professions, and wonder if you would be interested in an incident that happened to my sister. Her name is Dragony, and she works in a pharmacy located in a medical building. Her license plate reads DRAGONY. Well, someone went into the pharmacy and asked the girl at the counter, "Who is Dr. Agony?" I still laugh when I think about it. -- KATHI IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR KATHI: Funny! Your sister's license plate reminds me of one that belongs to my neighbor, who happens to be an anesthesiologist. Her license plate reads: EPIDURL.

I am still hearing from readers offering names -- and some of them are a hoot. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I was office manager for a printing company that did work for the American Tobacco Co. in North Carolina. The purchasing agent's assistant there was a woman by the name of Flicka Ashe. Can you believe it! -- DOLORES IN SPARTANBURG, S.C.

DEAR ABBY: I have sold real estate for 18 years, and no one ever forgets my name. It's ... BETH NEWHOUSE, MAYVILLE, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: My grandma fell and broke her hip last summer and had to have surgery. Her surgeon? Dr. Mark Cutright! -- KATHY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR ABBY: Shame on you! How could you forget your fellow member of the Group for Advancement of Psychiatry -- Dr. John Looney? -- FRANCES ROTON BELL, DALLAS

DEAR ABBY: Here's an item that might qualify. It's from the Jan. 16 edition of our local newspaper: "Charles T. Sprinkle, 27, of Sandpoint was cited on a charge of urinating in public at 11:52 p.m. in the 200 block of Main Street." -- LARRY S. IN IDAHO

DEAR ABBY: Would you like more names that match? My optician was named Ralph Glance, my daughter's allergist was Dr. Eitches, and my children's dentist is Dr. Spitz. -- SUSAN K., HAYWARD, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: When I was in high school, there was a family with the last name "Braa." Guess what the mom's first name was? "Iona"! My initials are "B.S.," but this story is not. -- B.S., FARIBAULT, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: When my sister and I were children, we'd play a game called "I Spy" during road trips from Georgia to Alabama. On one of them we spotted a septic tank installation and maintenance company named "Seth Poole and Sons." -- LARRY IN DOERUN, GA.

DEAR ABBY: I used to work with a young woman named Linda Snow. She met and married a wonderful man. When she did, she became Mrs. Snow-White! -- A FAN, SUN CITY, ARIZ.

DEAR ABBY: My salesman husband was dealing with a particularly difficult client who demanded to speak to the boss. The reply: "I'll be happy to transfer you to him. His name is Robin Hood; if he isn't in, you can speak with his secretary -- Marian!" True story, real people. -- JENNIFER IN HOUSTON

DEAR ABBY: This isn't occupation-related, but I thought you might get a kick out of it anyway. I went to school with twins Esther and Lester Chester and their big brother, Chester Chester Jr. And no, I'm not kidding. -- L. LEGGETT, MAGNOLIA, MISS.

life

Dear Abby for March 15, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 15th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 2

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

life

Stepdad Is Far Too Persistent in Trying to Photograph Girl

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 14th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I am 18 years old. I live with my girlfriend, and we live with her mother, 7-year-old sister and her stepdad.

When I first met her, she told me that her stepfather had tried to get her to take nude pictures "so she would trust him and won't be shy." He has asked her twice since we have been together. Each time he has asked, he has told her not to tell me, yet he tells her that he wants her to take the pictures so I will have something to look at when they leave on vacations.

Recently, because he wasn't able to get her to take the pictures, he told her that she and I need to have sex and be loud about it so he can hear -- "so she will trust him." During the same conversation he told her he was thinking about making her take the pictures, but figured she would hate him forever, so he didn't.

Before that happened, we found a device that looked like a small hidden camera in her bedroom. We weren't sure what it was, so we waited until one day we pressed "Play" on the VCR and all you could hear was the radio in her room and everything that was going on -- like the TV and us talking. He was trying to record us, and he tried to blame it on his 7-year-old daughter.

I'm not the kind of guy to get into family problems, but I love my girlfriend, and I'm tired of hearing and seeing this. Please tell me what you think I should do. -- GETTING WORRIED IN FLORIDA

DEAR GETTING WORRIED IN FLORIDA: I'm glad you wrote to me because you have every right to be worried. Putting aside your unusual living situation, it is apparent from your letter that your girlfriend's stepfather has an unhealthy interest in her. He is at the very least a voyeur, and possibly a pedophile.

It is very important that you and your girlfriend discuss this with a trusted teacher or counselor at her school or with a clergyperson. If you are reluctant to do this for yourselves, then please do it for the 7-year-old girl in that household -- because if this man is behaving this way with your girlfriend, it is only a matter of time until it happens to her (if it hasn't already).

life

Dear Abby for March 14, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 14th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My parents come to visit about once every two months. My mother is very nosy. She goes through my stuff when I am not at home. She will do my laundry for me (which gives her access to my bedroom, my dresser, my closet, etc.). She uses the excuse that she is "cleaning" to snoop.

The last time she was here, she "did my laundry," and when Dad and I got home, my personal lubricant was sitting on my microwave! I was so embarrassed.

Abby, I am a grown woman. I am 33 years old, and I am tired of her leaving my personal stuff out to let me know she knows I have it. What do I do? -- MISS T. IN DACULA, GA.

DEAR MISS T.: Well, your "secret" is out. Both your parents know you are sexually active. You should have had a frank talk with your mother and set some boundaries years ago.

You now have a choice: You can get a deadbolt lock for you bedroom door to prevent your mother from embarrassing you again. Or, you can take the bull by the horns and leave the personal lubricant next to her bed the next time your parents visit. When she brings it up, tell her that since you're all adults, you assumed she needed to use it during her last visit but had forgotten where it belonged. It should be interesting to see how she handles it when the "hot potato" winds up back in her lap.

life

Dear Abby for March 14, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 14th, 2007 | Letter 3 of 3

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Woman Will Never Be Greek Enough for Fiance's Family

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 13th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from "Hurting in New York" (Jan. 17), I ran to my computer. Unless she breaks off her relationship with "Pan," you'll be hearing from her again in about 10 years.

I married a Greek man whose family never accepted me. Being young and naive, I tried everything to fit in, converting from Catholicism to the Greek Orthodox faith, attending all family functions, including them in our lives. It was never enough.

My husband and I traveled to Crete with his family to visit his relatives there, and some extended family members refused to share the dinner table with me because I was not Greek. One of those family members was a priest!

Our daughter, "Athena," was born four years later. What broke the camel's back for me was a Christmas dinner when she was 6. My father-in-law gave cards with $100 to all the grandchildren of Greek heritage. Athena received nothing and cried for hours wanting to know why her grandfather didn't love her. My husband just tried to stay neutral.

Please tell "Hurting" that Pan's actions speak louder than words. If at 35 he is celebrating holidays without her and hiding her from his family, it won't stop. She will never be accepted into the family, nor will any children they have together. She'll be better off without him. -- IRISH AGAIN IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR IRISH AGAIN: I hope "Hurting" will take your (and my) advice to heart. And thank you for sharing your experience, which I am sure was painful. However, the kind of cliquishness you have described can happen in any group that tends to be "clannish," as my readers pointed out. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You were right on the money with your advice to "move on." I was married to a "Brit" for more than a decade, and experienced the same treatment from my former in-laws that she is facing. I thought things would improve after our wedding, then once we had been married "awhile," etc. Needless to say, it never improved. Literally until the day I left, I was treated like an outsider, and my husband never once took a stance to protect me or even acknowledge the problem.

I know many other couples of differing nationalities, and I know this is the exception, not the rule. But I sure hope she takes your good advice, because she'll have years of disappointment and heartbreak ahead if she doesn't. -- BEEN THERE IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: I met my Armenian-American husband when I was 22 and he was 32. I thought, "What a nice guy; why isn't he married?" I soon found out why. He had very strong ties to his parents and siblings. They did not take to me at all. I have been snubbed and insulted repeatedly.

I married him anyway, and it was been 25 long years. He is still tied to "Mommy," and it's sickening. My advice to "Hurting" is to run and keep on running. Don't marry someone because you pity him. I did, and my compassion has gotten me nothing but verbal abuse from my husband and stoniness from his family. -- STILL HERE, WISH I WASN'T

DEAR ABBY: I'm a Greek woman, and your advice about "Pan" was right on. Pan is hiding her because she's not good enough for his family and never will be because she's not Greek. Shallow? Perhaps, but it's normal behavior for a traditional Greek family.

My mother was three-fourths Greek and was treated horribly her entire married life by my father's family. The movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was not a romantic comedy; it was a documentary! Pan's family will always come first. -- KNOWS ONLY TOO WELL IN CALIFORNIA

life

Dear Abby for March 13, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 13th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 2

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

Subscribe

Receive Dear Abby Free Every Day


Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Two Degrees
  • Lulu
  • Good Enough
  • Toy Around
  • A Clean Getaway
  • Patio Appeal
  • Stress of Caregiving Causes Concern for Daughters
  • Mother of the Groom Prefers Not to Attend Bachelorette Party Bar Crawl
  • Neighborhood Politician Ruffles Feathers
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2022 Andrews McMeel Universal